So I wrote fic? Smut.
I'm very embarrassed about this. I wrote (Batman) Bruce Wayne/Gordon fanfic, set in Nolan's verse, after The Dark Knight. It's here: Go Your Own Way. It's finished, novella length. Only couple chapters are posted, but updates will be frequent.
I mean that's bad enough, but mostly it's smut. It's porn with lots and lots of daddy kink. Porn written less to the characters and more to my one lizard brain iron clad kink, which is dirty talk. So lots and lots of dirty talk. You shouldn't read it if you don't like those things.
That's embarrassing enough too, but ever since femmenerd's Lizard Brain Confessional I've been convinced that my lizard brain is . . . uh, less cerebral than other people's, for lack of a better term. Some of this smut has introspection, but if we're talking kink what really does it for me is people saying the same horribly filthy things over and over again with only slight variations.
Anywho, what's holding the fic together shouldn't be called plot. More a vehicle towards porn. But the weird thing is I did not set out writing this in order to write porn, and the porn is not the most important part to me. But nor does the porn have no bearing on the "plot"--you know what I mean, how sometimes porn will suddenly blossom out like some weird abberation, after which we go back to the story. This fic is about sex, I guess, but the most important part to me is the relationship. The parts between the porn are all emotional porn. But that's weird too, because this isn't a loving relationship, and I don't think it appears very emotional on the page. It's hardly a relationship, even. A lot of what this fic is isn't about feeling but action, what they were doing, how they treated each other--what they ate. Especially what they ate. Even what they wore. I hate fics that always tell me what everyone wore. This . . . has a lot of that, and for some reason it seemed very critical at the time.
As you may have guessed, it's not a stellar piece of fiction. But I'm very interested in it, because I don't understand why it was so important to write down, why it consumed me so utterly. I don't understand Bruce (Batman)/Gordon either. (I don't understand any of my ships any more.) I don't know if this is in character. I mean, we assume these characters aren't gay, yes? But I don't think it's such a stretch they could be (particularly Bruce), and in what canon do we really get in their psyche? Not in the Nolan films or cartoons. The comics I've read have very basic introspection, such as, "They can never know!" and "Mom and Dad getting capped sucked balls". So who knows whether Batman is secretly a masochist with Daddy issues? Don't you think he'd sorta have to be?
Give it a try if you're interested. And then please tell me why I could never write anything this crazy and be so blasé for Jossverse or Harry/Draco.
Also, I started another fic which I'm less embarrassed about, and so don't feel like I need to go on and on to excuse myself: In Hiding. It was/is my attempt at "serious" (Batman) Bruce/Gordon, examining issues, that sort of thing. WIP, dunno if I'll ever write more than just what's there. For all that it's "serious" it was still a spur of the moment, not a lot invested type deal. Haven't been able to work on it, since the crack ATE MY BRAIN. At least it's not smutty.
I mean that's bad enough, but mostly it's smut. It's porn with lots and lots of daddy kink. Porn written less to the characters and more to my one lizard brain iron clad kink, which is dirty talk. So lots and lots of dirty talk. You shouldn't read it if you don't like those things.
That's embarrassing enough too, but ever since femmenerd's Lizard Brain Confessional I've been convinced that my lizard brain is . . . uh, less cerebral than other people's, for lack of a better term. Some of this smut has introspection, but if we're talking kink what really does it for me is people saying the same horribly filthy things over and over again with only slight variations.
Anywho, what's holding the fic together shouldn't be called plot. More a vehicle towards porn. But the weird thing is I did not set out writing this in order to write porn, and the porn is not the most important part to me. But nor does the porn have no bearing on the "plot"--you know what I mean, how sometimes porn will suddenly blossom out like some weird abberation, after which we go back to the story. This fic is about sex, I guess, but the most important part to me is the relationship. The parts between the porn are all emotional porn. But that's weird too, because this isn't a loving relationship, and I don't think it appears very emotional on the page. It's hardly a relationship, even. A lot of what this fic is isn't about feeling but action, what they were doing, how they treated each other--what they ate. Especially what they ate. Even what they wore. I hate fics that always tell me what everyone wore. This . . . has a lot of that, and for some reason it seemed very critical at the time.
As you may have guessed, it's not a stellar piece of fiction. But I'm very interested in it, because I don't understand why it was so important to write down, why it consumed me so utterly. I don't understand Bruce (Batman)/Gordon either. (I don't understand any of my ships any more.) I don't know if this is in character. I mean, we assume these characters aren't gay, yes? But I don't think it's such a stretch they could be (particularly Bruce), and in what canon do we really get in their psyche? Not in the Nolan films or cartoons. The comics I've read have very basic introspection, such as, "They can never know!" and "Mom and Dad getting capped sucked balls". So who knows whether Batman is secretly a masochist with Daddy issues? Don't you think he'd sorta have to be?
Give it a try if you're interested. And then please tell me why I could never write anything this crazy and be so blasé for Jossverse or Harry/Draco.
Also, I started another fic which I'm less embarrassed about, and so don't feel like I need to go on and on to excuse myself: In Hiding. It was/is my attempt at "serious" (Batman) Bruce/Gordon, examining issues, that sort of thing. WIP, dunno if I'll ever write more than just what's there. For all that it's "serious" it was still a spur of the moment, not a lot invested type deal. Haven't been able to work on it, since the crack ATE MY BRAIN. At least it's not smutty.