Strange dream
I had an odd dream today~
In it, there were several kids I went to school with and didn't get along with (read: they hated me) that were in charge of two small groups, both of them unimportant but very self-important. I found myself wishing I was part of the group in spite of the fact that I knew I'd probably just join and then ruin them from the inside once I was accepted because I disliked them so much and I knew they'd just backstab me as well.
We were in the forest...it was supposed to be camp place but somehow it was connected to a regular building anyway. The building was connected to my house...I stomped away from the idiots planning to go to my room and calm myself down.
Inside of my room in real life I usually leave half-finished sketches laying around or pinned up randomly on my wall to remind myself what I wanted to finish or frame (I'm very much into art.) But in the dream, when I entered my room, all of the pictures had changed to naked sketches of a girl from many different stand points...she was very beautiful and young, and in many she was cringing or holding up her arms to sheild her face, as if there was someone standing off screen about to hit her. I sort of felt bad for her once I saw her face. And then upon closer inspection I realized that the girl was me.
It didn't scare me at all...I often draw representations of me when I'm sad, anyway, but what did scare me was that the drawings pinned up closest to the door where done in red ink and the ink looked very much like blood. I remember thinking that it was the fault of the kids I disliked. One image in particular looked as if her head was bleeding, so I leaned my own head against the wall and thought about bashing it in. Then I heard footsteps of a stranger boy who I somehow knew didn't like me, and I smiled and decided to try for a suicide attempt to scare him.
I woke up then, and I sort of expected my head to hurt. I was pretty bothered by it, I was thinking; I'd never do anything like that, right?
I'm not too sure if it means anything at all, other than just regular every day stress in the form of a dream, but I had good days the day before and today as well so I thought it was strange to have such an unsettling dream when nothing's been wrong lately.
Any thoughts?
X-posted to dream_analysis.
In it, there were several kids I went to school with and didn't get along with (read: they hated me) that were in charge of two small groups, both of them unimportant but very self-important. I found myself wishing I was part of the group in spite of the fact that I knew I'd probably just join and then ruin them from the inside once I was accepted because I disliked them so much and I knew they'd just backstab me as well.
We were in the forest...it was supposed to be camp place but somehow it was connected to a regular building anyway. The building was connected to my house...I stomped away from the idiots planning to go to my room and calm myself down.
Inside of my room in real life I usually leave half-finished sketches laying around or pinned up randomly on my wall to remind myself what I wanted to finish or frame (I'm very much into art.) But in the dream, when I entered my room, all of the pictures had changed to naked sketches of a girl from many different stand points...she was very beautiful and young, and in many she was cringing or holding up her arms to sheild her face, as if there was someone standing off screen about to hit her. I sort of felt bad for her once I saw her face. And then upon closer inspection I realized that the girl was me.
It didn't scare me at all...I often draw representations of me when I'm sad, anyway, but what did scare me was that the drawings pinned up closest to the door where done in red ink and the ink looked very much like blood. I remember thinking that it was the fault of the kids I disliked. One image in particular looked as if her head was bleeding, so I leaned my own head against the wall and thought about bashing it in. Then I heard footsteps of a stranger boy who I somehow knew didn't like me, and I smiled and decided to try for a suicide attempt to scare him.
I woke up then, and I sort of expected my head to hurt. I was pretty bothered by it, I was thinking; I'd never do anything like that, right?
I'm not too sure if it means anything at all, other than just regular every day stress in the form of a dream, but I had good days the day before and today as well so I thought it was strange to have such an unsettling dream when nothing's been wrong lately.
Any thoughts?
X-posted to dream_analysis.