(no subject)
i dont know what to write about anymore in this thing. i feel like such a fucking choad posting anything in here - livejournal is basically nothing but a "sympathy center" when it comes down to it. thats why i hate writing what i am really feeling, and what i'm going through - pouring my emotions out onto nothing but a dirty keyboard gets me nowhere and nothing but simple sympathetic replies.
she's away right now - she's always away. i wish i could just talk for once, and be "serious" while trying to have a descent conversation with her - but i always fuck it up, and end with saying something pathetic. she has not the slightest idea of me liking her - thats just the thing... the true person i am,. i find it rather impossible for me to strike any kind of romance with her, being the kind of person i am. but we have so much in common, and she doubtfully may not even realize it. any word i say - goes straight through her, like a ghost - because people dont take me seriously at all.
... and for a minute there people actually were taking me seriously for a long while - but now its just hopeless to try and find someone to hear you out. aren't i suppose to be liking one of her friends by now or something? i hate holding all this "emotion" in. i want to walk up to her and just let it all out - tell her everything that im thinking.
just seeing her everyday at school brightens my day - but she's way to busy trying to have "something" with someone else, to even acknowledge the slightest fact of there actually being other guys who would give the world and more to be with her, and for once treat her the right way. i can honestly say that i would give up all that i have, just to be with her. its more of a way of trying to explain an emotion - that i dont even know is like.
... now that i've made a complete "emo" ass of myself, i think it is time for me to go take a shower and try to catch up on my sleep. i only wish that the person i was talking about in this entry, actually knew just how i honestly really do feel about them. fuck, if she knew that i did like her, she'd probably be throwing up her better half in the toilet right about now. <33
she's away right now - she's always away. i wish i could just talk for once, and be "serious" while trying to have a descent conversation with her - but i always fuck it up, and end with saying something pathetic. she has not the slightest idea of me liking her - thats just the thing... the true person i am,. i find it rather impossible for me to strike any kind of romance with her, being the kind of person i am. but we have so much in common, and she doubtfully may not even realize it. any word i say - goes straight through her, like a ghost - because people dont take me seriously at all.
... and for a minute there people actually were taking me seriously for a long while - but now its just hopeless to try and find someone to hear you out. aren't i suppose to be liking one of her friends by now or something? i hate holding all this "emotion" in. i want to walk up to her and just let it all out - tell her everything that im thinking.
just seeing her everyday at school brightens my day - but she's way to busy trying to have "something" with someone else, to even acknowledge the slightest fact of there actually being other guys who would give the world and more to be with her, and for once treat her the right way. i can honestly say that i would give up all that i have, just to be with her. its more of a way of trying to explain an emotion - that i dont even know is like.
... now that i've made a complete "emo" ass of myself, i think it is time for me to go take a shower and try to catch up on my sleep. i only wish that the person i was talking about in this entry, actually knew just how i honestly really do feel about them. fuck, if she knew that i did like her, she'd probably be throwing up her better half in the toilet right about now. <33