This dance is for imjustdriven, and no one else. So there.

[letsface_it]

Even when 'difficult past few months' is a reigning understatement, Tony still couldn't shake the suspicion he may or may not get slapped. And maybe it was paranoia, but with his behavior over these 'difficult past few months', maybe it was justified. Maybe that temptation to have Pepper grab an umpire's mask and one of those sumo suits for him to

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[letsface_it]

Tony took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Well, the door hadn't closed. It was constantly on the verge of closing, but it hadn't closed. That, he supposed, was the important part.

The other part was what to say next that didn't involve blurting out something else retarded. And that was taking him a minute.

Hm.

"Alright. Let's start with the easy part." He attempted to say smoothly. "One, I tried. Granted, I was losing my mind a little at the time, and my judgment was kind of skewered by the very real possibility I had a week left to live and a lot of alcohol, but..." But.

"But y'know, under the circumstances, I thought I did pretty well." Okay, maybe not. "... Sort of. And why would I tell you that when you're always terrified I'm going to die out there?" The look on her face in those situations was bad enough. Amplify that by ten, and he just hadn't been able to do it.

"I was looking for the answer, Laura. I didn't want you to know, anyone to know, because there was nothing anyone could do about it. It was something I had to handle." With a little bit of help from his father in the end, luckily.

"Also, I'd like to take a moment to point out the one or two ends of this that weren't my fault. Like, y'know, Vanko. And Hammer. And the fact that the palladium turned out to be so bad in the first place."

All legitimate points, weren't they?

"Those, pretty sure you can't hate me for."

... Right?

[imjustdriven]

"You know what I can hate you for?" Laura offered, just daring him to listen to it. She was right, she knew it, and she was going to say it before he piled on more excuses. "For solving problems like a bachelor. How long have we been together now, Tony? And how long before you start treating me like your partner, instead of some woman who has the audacity to worry about you when you're doing something dangerous?"

He looked at that as a problem more than anything else. She knew that without him saying it, and she would never be able to understand it.

"When it's important, I don't know about it until it's over. Nevermind the fact that you're incapable of dealing with anything without going off the deep end. Is this how it's always going to be? ...Is this really what you want for the rest of your life?" Not only did Laura hate it, she also doubted that she could manage it long-term. She was already tired of it.

[letsface_it]

It was the ending that made him cringe. It didn't exactly bode well for keeping Laura off the ever expanding list of Tony Stark's Ex Girlfriends. His shoulders sagged some, and the drop in defenses let the guilt flow over and take control.

"Alright." He relented in a quieter, even tone. One that frustrated the hell out of him, made him think of the little black box that was sitting in his desk in Malibu. The one that was more than owed. But he had to fix this first.

"You remember S.H.I.E.L.D.? And the Avengers Initiative? They're not exactly ready for me yet, so I'm a consultant." Tony wasn't about to admit that it was only partly that, Fury clearly thought he wasn't ready for them. "Officially."

Which was something, he figured. "Rhodey wouldn't give back the other suit until I promised I'd start taking him on runs and outfit it with upgrades from Hammer's crap. And he likes 'War Machine' a lot more than he's willing to admit. So... I have backup." He paused. "Backup in training."

He sighed, not exactly 'comfortable' with having to let all this go, but knowing he couldn't get away with it anymore either. "Pepper's back in her old job, Happy's still in his, they both got raises and bonuses for what I put them through. And I know I can't give you a raise, or a bonus, but..."

But.

Come on, Stark. Just get it over with.

"I was... Wrong." Was it wrong to feel nauseous right now? "And... I'm..." He cleared his throat, swallowing hard.

"I'm sorry."

God, it even tasted bad.

[imjustdriven]

"I know you were wrong!" she said quickly, not caring how insensitive that sounded. He hadn't been concerned with her feelings before, had he? When he had thought that he was near death, with one week to live, had he let her know about it? No. He preferred being some kind of lone warrior to having to face what he actually was; a man in a relationship with a woman who would have stayed by his side through all of it. Not that he had given her that chance, because he never thought about other people's feelings when he was upset.

"You have Rhodey. Pepper has her job. You've taken on even more responsibility with S.H.I.E.L.D., fine. But what's the plan for us, Tony?" She hated having to say it like that, but someone had to. If their relationship was going to survive in the long run, he had to do a lot more than admit he was wrong. He needed to make sure that he didn't put her in this position again. Actually learn something from this so that they stood a chance at having a future together. And he needed to do now, before it was too far away from both of them for him to take anything significant out of it.

"What's going to stop you from doing this the next time something or someone tries to hurt you?" She softened a little at her own question, annoyed that she had reminded herself of just how many enemies Tony had. They wouldn't stop coming. If anything, they'd see it all on the news and wonder if all of these changes meant it was a good time to strike against him. The logic wasn't all of that different than running a business and striking out at your competitor, just a lot more lethal.

"I appreciate the apology, but all of the 'I'm sorry's in the world aren't going to fix this if something doesn't change, Tony."

[letsface_it]

Typical. He handed her a solid full disclosure speech of all the things he was doing, complete with an apology that was still making him a little nauseous, and she wasn't satisfied.

No, she had to hand him a bunch of questions he didn't have an answer to. Things that made him wince, things that came with an expression that made him feel like that much more of an ass. He hadn't given her enough yet, and trying to find that line was starting to piss Tony off.

But walking away from this wasn't an option. Not after all that. Not if this was going to work out, and have the happy ending he was hoping for.

That eloquence that would've been so perfect just now, however, eluded him entirely. His jaw worked, and the nausea doubled upon itself. He wanted this to be over. He wanted a drink.

He wanted them to be happy.

"Look." He finally managed, sighing as a hand slid through his hair. "I fucked up. You know I have a talent for this. It's... Probably not going to change. But at least a percentage of my intentions weren't entirely selfish on this one. I wanted to protect you."

Whether or not she wanted it, it really was the truth. "I'm trying, Laura. I can promise you that I'm going to keep trying, and that I'll tell you more. But if it's something dangerous, and full disclosure's only going to get you hurt, isn't it better to leave some of it out every once in a while?"

Or maybe not. Maybe that was just him trying to justify what he'd done. He had a real talent for that, too.

"I'm still learning to be better. Iron Man was the beginning, but it's a little hard to undo practically a lifetime of bad habits."

And no matter what, a bunch of them were still going to stick. Otherwise, he wouldn't be Tony.

"I want this to work. I came to you about getting us going, remember? So I'll be better. But you're going to have to work with me on some of this, too. Otherwise, what's the point?"

[imjustdriven]

"When have you ever given me the opportunity to work with you on these things?" Wasn't that the whole point? He never went to her when it was important. He made his own decisions, whether she liked it or not. Not only that, but actions always demanded some kind of reaction from her. He would make a mess of things and then try to clean it up for her. It wasn't a partnership.

"I don't want you to keep things from me, and I don't need protecting. I never have, Tony." He got more death threats on a daily basis than the President of the United States. Danger was expected. For every Justin Hammer that tried and failed at destroying him, another two hundred seemed to pop up. He never seemed to be concerned, but he never paid attention to anything until it was right in front of him and unable to be ignored.

"I doubt we would be together right now if you thought I was that fragile." The delicate flowers had never lasted with him before, so Laura knew better than to think that she was the exception to the rule. "I tell you everything. My work is different than yours, but if we're going to be equals in this relationship, you need to do the same thing for me."