(no subject)
even if a woman is pretty, there is no guarantee that the men who approach her will be men she wants to be with.
i've been approached by plenty of men i considered unattractive. and then, even the men who have been handsome have often turned me off by seemingly pursuing me for superficial reasons only. in some ways, it angers me that i never learned it was possible for me to be the pursuer, the one who chooses. i was taught to be passive and it put me in the position of fending off advances from sleazy creeps. i never had a chance to look around and consider who i might want to be with.
maybe this all comes down to my character flaws, but i'm fairly certain i was socialized this way. i was taught that it was important to look desirable, but only so that i could be the passive recipient of attention. and i was never taught what to do about the desire that i might elicit.
i've been approached by plenty of men i considered unattractive. and then, even the men who have been handsome have often turned me off by seemingly pursuing me for superficial reasons only. in some ways, it angers me that i never learned it was possible for me to be the pursuer, the one who chooses. i was taught to be passive and it put me in the position of fending off advances from sleazy creeps. i never had a chance to look around and consider who i might want to be with.
maybe this all comes down to my character flaws, but i'm fairly certain i was socialized this way. i was taught that it was important to look desirable, but only so that i could be the passive recipient of attention. and i was never taught what to do about the desire that i might elicit.