(no subject)
well the worst 2 weeks of my life are hopefully coming to an end.....just when you think it stops something even worst happens.....you would think a set back in your physical therapy would be crippling enough to someones confidence.....but oh no god felt the need to totally kick me while i was down.....my dog died 2 days later.... Mr Beau Jenca dies at the age of 9....little dogs are suppost to live til there 13 or 14 and ours gets taken away at 9.....then dealing with the fact that my friends all have there g/fs and i dont have mine and trying to show that it didnt bother me......then she breaks up with me because we suddenly are going to fast and honestly i was so heart broken that i didnt even wanna listen to what she was saying.....
add that all together and i completely lost it.....i literally smashed my cell phone againest the wall....punched the wooden bed post slicing open my knuckles and crying to my mom for about 2 hours that i always get my heart smashed on and that girls are all the same.....just when i think i find a great one .....i get squashed and maybe i should have saw this coming ...but like i deer caught in head lights there was nothing i could do about it....i honestly dont know if i will ever be alright.....she may have destroyed me emotionally forever....how can i ever get close to someone now....?
i tried becoming a better fucking person for her and she completely threw it in my face....and not to sound cocky but what the fuck.....how can any girl toss me aside....i have to have my best friends lock me in bedrooms when im at partys to keep girls hands off me....i mean seriously you cant tell me you will ever find a better guy then me....i would never raise my voice to my g/f or ever lay a finger on them, i would go to the end of earth just to see her smile....and the best guy in the world nobody knows about may never show his face again......
seriously i dont cry and this right now is killing me to try and type.....this was never suppost to hurt this much, maybe i get attached to easy and maybe i need to play hard to get....or maybe i should just throw in the towel on relationships for good because everyone is right.....Mr Hot Shot Justin Jenca couldnt keep a relationship if his live truly depended on it.....im starting to think truly now that being good looking is nothing but a curse or punishment ....cause all it has ever cause me is heart break.....but that cant be true because most of my friends are and they all seem to be happy....maybe i truly am meant to be alone forever....
the endless comparisons to Batman continue to grow.....struggles with his confidence in himself, Good looking guy, alone and keeps to himself, and we both drive a black car......thats almost a perfect comparison, the only reason we arent identical is cause he was a billionaire.....so maybe thats a hint to my future....that i am going to be rich and alone....
well theres not much of a need to go on anymore, if you have to get a hold of me you will have to call the house cause the cell phone is gone til i get some money on friday and even then no promises because i work all weekend....so heres the house # if you need me 887-0873
add that all together and i completely lost it.....i literally smashed my cell phone againest the wall....punched the wooden bed post slicing open my knuckles and crying to my mom for about 2 hours that i always get my heart smashed on and that girls are all the same.....just when i think i find a great one .....i get squashed and maybe i should have saw this coming ...but like i deer caught in head lights there was nothing i could do about it....i honestly dont know if i will ever be alright.....she may have destroyed me emotionally forever....how can i ever get close to someone now....?
i tried becoming a better fucking person for her and she completely threw it in my face....and not to sound cocky but what the fuck.....how can any girl toss me aside....i have to have my best friends lock me in bedrooms when im at partys to keep girls hands off me....i mean seriously you cant tell me you will ever find a better guy then me....i would never raise my voice to my g/f or ever lay a finger on them, i would go to the end of earth just to see her smile....and the best guy in the world nobody knows about may never show his face again......
seriously i dont cry and this right now is killing me to try and type.....this was never suppost to hurt this much, maybe i get attached to easy and maybe i need to play hard to get....or maybe i should just throw in the towel on relationships for good because everyone is right.....Mr Hot Shot Justin Jenca couldnt keep a relationship if his live truly depended on it.....im starting to think truly now that being good looking is nothing but a curse or punishment ....cause all it has ever cause me is heart break.....but that cant be true because most of my friends are and they all seem to be happy....maybe i truly am meant to be alone forever....
the endless comparisons to Batman continue to grow.....struggles with his confidence in himself, Good looking guy, alone and keeps to himself, and we both drive a black car......thats almost a perfect comparison, the only reason we arent identical is cause he was a billionaire.....so maybe thats a hint to my future....that i am going to be rich and alone....
well theres not much of a need to go on anymore, if you have to get a hold of me you will have to call the house cause the cell phone is gone til i get some money on friday and even then no promises because i work all weekend....so heres the house # if you need me 887-0873