(no subject)
I'm pissed off, upset, annoyed and on the verge of tears. Why, you may ask?
Tracie isn't comming down anymore. Yeah yeah yeah, I just said she actually was like... last month or the month before, but turns out things aren't going as planned and everything is getting screwed up. Her dad has to go back to Iraq and her uncle told her dad something that made him change his mind. Which is lame to the max. As each day goes by, i start to not like her uncle more and more.
Basically, here's what happened...
Tracie has a boyfriend, his name is Jase. He lives in Florida. Tracie's mom knew about him, and didn't mind their relationship. Well, when Tracie's mom passed and she moved in with her aunt and uncle, they said she couldn't talk to him. So after awhile, she planned to save up for a cell phone. So she could call him and stuff. They found out by snooping through her room and reading her diary, and said her punishment was that she couldn't come down in October for homecomming. After awhile her aunt said Tracie should be allowed to come down and stuff for homecomming. Tracie's dad said it was fine, and her uncle said as long as it was okay with her dad (they have split custody) and stuff like that. Well her uncle never told her dad about the cell phone thing, until like yesterday. So then all of a sudden her dad changes his mind because of that. It happened 3 months ago, and they had already told her that she was allowed to come down and stuff, and now her uncle decides to tell her dad. He should have told her dad before they all said she could, so that way her dad didn't all of a sudden change his mind. And it pisses me off because her uncle is like "it's the trust issue" and stuff like that.
He obviously didn't trust her before if he went snooping through her room and reading her diary when she wasn't home. So it's complete bullshit. He never trusted her in the first place. I was on the phone with Tracie earlier and she kept saying "well it's my punishment, i deserve it" and stuff like that, but i know very well she doesn't,or didn't, believe it. I'm starting to think she told herself that, and told herself they were right, and now she's starting to believe it. She was like "it's like the whole warped tour thing last year. You lied to your mom, took your bank card, got the money and bought the ticket. and the next morning you let her pick you up because you knew it was wrong. you accepted your punishment" and i just said "But do I regret that? Hell no. I know it was wrong, and I shouldn't have done it, but i'm not going to regret it. And my punishment wasn't 3 months later. It was right then. It was for that week, and then my mom slowly started letting do things. So had to let me do things, because I had to prove to her she could trust me. By not letting you go, they're never going to know if they can trust you or not, because they're not letting you do something. They're never going to find out by keeping you in the house, they have to slowly let you do things and see if you screw up or not. And have you even gotten in any other trouble since it's happened?" and she says "no. none" They want her to show responsibility? To me, she's already showing it. She has a job, she was going to pay for her plane ticket out here, she hasn't gotten in trouble since it happened, they already grounded her when it did happen, and she accepted the punishment then.
And then she crushed me. made me on the verge tears. and all she had to say was "I just miss my mom." which made so many thoughts swim through my head. Most of them which pissed me off. So I said, "I know you do. I do, too. And that's part of everything. When your mom died, no one talked to you about it. Your dad just sent you to 2 counseling things, acting like that would help. He didn't sit there and talk to you about it, your aunt and uncle didn't talk to you about it, so what the hell do they expect? That you can so easily just get over your mom dieing? The part that pisses me off Tracie, is that none of them were even really involved in your life before your mom died, and all of a sudden you have to go by all of their rules and you can't fuck up once. Maybe if they took the time to talk to you about things, and help you settle in instead of acting like you just moved there for the sake of it, then maybe everything would have been a little better." and by then she was crying. I think part of her knew most of the things I was saying were the truth, and that what she really needed was someone, in her family, there to talk to her about her mom passing. Not just stupid counselors.
I told her to live with no apologies and no regrets, and that what they're doing isn't right and stuff. And I feel bad talking crap about her family. I like her aunt, i really do. her aunt is nice. Her aunt lets her talk on the phone later then her uncle does, her aunt was the reason her uncle agreed to letting tracie go to homecomming and stuff. But i can't stand her uncle, now. I can't stand her dad, either. Before tracie hadreally settled down with them and they had come to clean out the house some more, my mom and i were there, and her uncle told my mom they wouldn't force their religion on her, and they wouldn't make her study it (they're witness) but what are they doing? Making her go to study, making her be Witness. it's crap. If he's going to tell someone one thing, he should stick to it.
I'm pissed, not because I want to see her and now i can't, but because this isn't what she needs. The only thing, only thing, she wanted and was looking forward to was comming down here, going to homecomming and see all her old friends. And now she can't.
I want her to be happy more than I want myself to be happy because as if her mom dieing, and then her moving all the way to California wasn't hard enough on her, she can't even see her friends. It's not like she got to say goodbye when she moved. Hell, she didn't even get to say bye to me. So she just really wants the chance to see all her friends. Because she even said it herself , talking on the phone with your friends isn't the same when you've known these people for 7-10 years and your used to seeing them all the time.
drama is attached to me at the hip.