its all about...takin the easy way out for you
2 more weeks... my foot is in the door
alright thats enough quotes for now. I have been so...chilled lately. Its weird, suddenly my dear little shermie has been taken over with Elliot Smith, and the Beatles, And Dispatch, and Rooney, Bright Eyes, Oasis... what is this.. who am i right now i dont even know. Its a crazy weird feeling. I have also been told about 8 times in the last day and ahalf i look like a hippie. What happend to my taking back sunday, my thrice, my northstar, brand new... OH WAIT... i think i just had a thought. Maybe because its been taken over by MTV and madness.. that ijust gave up on it. Maybe i feel betrayed... so i figure maybe i will betray them... or maybe im just doin the college kid thing and chilling out a bit. Im not sure... have i lost my angst? Probobly not.. im still writing in one of these.. which is the troubled high schooler thing to do... enough rambling.. moving on
This weekend.. was a long crazy one. I need to not drink so much. Ive lost the bailit to be able to tell when too much is too much. I end up making myself sick and getting lost. Like on satruday, I called my friend andrew.. cause iw as completely lost on my own campus... how does tht happen.. i know this place so well... Its kinda disapointing.. i thought i knew everything better hten that. not even like this place.. like life... i just wish i was smarter
so i jstu had class.. and an epiphane on my walk there.. as i was walking around in my not so traditional these days garb.. i noticed i would only get looks from certain people. And they were the ones dressed like those hey see in store windows.. theone which society finds as traditional. And i thought to myself.. isnt that weird. AND YA KNOW.. it was... and i started thinking.. that maybe more acceptance comes with the more diverse you are. I think you only stare and think.. well thats weird.. to those things you dont understand. And perhaps this is a well known thing... but ive never been so struck with it in real life. People point and stare when they dont understnad. It makes me think back to visiting maddie in princeville... when since we were dressed alittle different.. we got told.. "go home good charlotte" just like that.. we were branded .. stared.. and written off as possibly potentially threatening.. or atleast worth the stares of the whole school. I think you can only judge to the exten tot which you know... then everything else becomes different and wrong... and that seems ridiculous... im glad im diverse
i think im done with all the psychological crap.. ive just had a hugely psychological last couple of days. All the wya down to waking up at 545 afraid of my own room... calling my tolerant boyfriend for osme kind of comfort in the dark early hours. I think i cant wait just to get back to what i know. Back to what i miss... back to that summertime feeling adn people i know and love. I relaly jsut cant wait for break to come... not even to go home.. i just got really bad news abot home... and just spent the last 30 minues getting yelled at... i just want to see my friends.. i just... miss em.. i miss the feeling of safety that came from waking up knwoing i was ugnna see those kids before the day was out.. the ones that mattered....oh well..so long sweet summer
alright thats enough quotes for now. I have been so...chilled lately. Its weird, suddenly my dear little shermie has been taken over with Elliot Smith, and the Beatles, And Dispatch, and Rooney, Bright Eyes, Oasis... what is this.. who am i right now i dont even know. Its a crazy weird feeling. I have also been told about 8 times in the last day and ahalf i look like a hippie. What happend to my taking back sunday, my thrice, my northstar, brand new... OH WAIT... i think i just had a thought. Maybe because its been taken over by MTV and madness.. that ijust gave up on it. Maybe i feel betrayed... so i figure maybe i will betray them... or maybe im just doin the college kid thing and chilling out a bit. Im not sure... have i lost my angst? Probobly not.. im still writing in one of these.. which is the troubled high schooler thing to do... enough rambling.. moving on
This weekend.. was a long crazy one. I need to not drink so much. Ive lost the bailit to be able to tell when too much is too much. I end up making myself sick and getting lost. Like on satruday, I called my friend andrew.. cause iw as completely lost on my own campus... how does tht happen.. i know this place so well... Its kinda disapointing.. i thought i knew everything better hten that. not even like this place.. like life... i just wish i was smarter
so i jstu had class.. and an epiphane on my walk there.. as i was walking around in my not so traditional these days garb.. i noticed i would only get looks from certain people. And they were the ones dressed like those hey see in store windows.. theone which society finds as traditional. And i thought to myself.. isnt that weird. AND YA KNOW.. it was... and i started thinking.. that maybe more acceptance comes with the more diverse you are. I think you only stare and think.. well thats weird.. to those things you dont understand. And perhaps this is a well known thing... but ive never been so struck with it in real life. People point and stare when they dont understnad. It makes me think back to visiting maddie in princeville... when since we were dressed alittle different.. we got told.. "go home good charlotte" just like that.. we were branded .. stared.. and written off as possibly potentially threatening.. or atleast worth the stares of the whole school. I think you can only judge to the exten tot which you know... then everything else becomes different and wrong... and that seems ridiculous... im glad im diverse
i think im done with all the psychological crap.. ive just had a hugely psychological last couple of days. All the wya down to waking up at 545 afraid of my own room... calling my tolerant boyfriend for osme kind of comfort in the dark early hours. I think i cant wait just to get back to what i know. Back to what i miss... back to that summertime feeling adn people i know and love. I relaly jsut cant wait for break to come... not even to go home.. i just got really bad news abot home... and just spent the last 30 minues getting yelled at... i just want to see my friends.. i just... miss em.. i miss the feeling of safety that came from waking up knwoing i was ugnna see those kids before the day was out.. the ones that mattered....oh well..so long sweet summer