I don't get it.
I really, honestly, don't understand myself. I've had an amazing time at Davis so far into the year, my dorm is filled with really awesome people (so many people get along), classes are often interesting and informitive, weekends are getting funner, and things are just working out. And yet I still can't get over the feeling that I'm not happy here.
It's something I've been obsessing over almost every day, and I don't get it. It pissses me off.
For instance, this has been one of the greatest weekends I've had here: Friday night I went to the Rocky Horror Show with my friend Tien. We both dressed up in drag, got way into it, met a bunch of random other people who were all dressed and having a good time, and overall the performance was great and the audience was awesome. During intermission we met up with a bunch of people from our dorm who went (even 2 RAs) who all came dressed up. Saturday during the day was lazy and relaxing: frisbee, biking around downtown, eating and having a really good conversation with my friend Lauren. Saturday night was the big dance put on by some student leadership which was attended to by 1000+ people - dancing with my friend beth was ALMOST as bad ass as dancing with the boys. Dance ended at 1:00am, and at 2:00am I went to a friend's lingerie party in her dorm, and at 3:30 I finally made it into bed. Sunday (Today) was lazy, homework done sporadically, I hung out sporadically, and a short game of poker took place.
And yet I still sit here this Sunday night, obsessing over the same topic I just can't get over. And I don't understand it: is it a flaw with Davis, or is it a personal flaw? Whenever I vocalize this feeling I always realize how stupid it is, but at the same time I haven't been able to just move on.
And there's nowhere I'd really want to transfer to except for Berkeley, but I don't think I'd be as happy in Berkeley after spending my Freshman year here and making the friends I've made. I don't know. Maybe it's because I haven't visited home or the boys since January 2nd. I was thinking of doing both of those this weekend, but it's going to be sunny here this weekend and I want to stay here for that (you ask, why do I question how much I like this place when I refuse to leave, and I don't KNOW!!)
Jeff, Nate, Chris, Conor - You should come this weekend. I dare you. My roomate's going snowboarding, so the room's empty. We can have an orgy, and nobody will bother us (unless, maybe, they want to join).
It's something I've been obsessing over almost every day, and I don't get it. It pissses me off.
For instance, this has been one of the greatest weekends I've had here: Friday night I went to the Rocky Horror Show with my friend Tien. We both dressed up in drag, got way into it, met a bunch of random other people who were all dressed and having a good time, and overall the performance was great and the audience was awesome. During intermission we met up with a bunch of people from our dorm who went (even 2 RAs) who all came dressed up. Saturday during the day was lazy and relaxing: frisbee, biking around downtown, eating and having a really good conversation with my friend Lauren. Saturday night was the big dance put on by some student leadership which was attended to by 1000+ people - dancing with my friend beth was ALMOST as bad ass as dancing with the boys. Dance ended at 1:00am, and at 2:00am I went to a friend's lingerie party in her dorm, and at 3:30 I finally made it into bed. Sunday (Today) was lazy, homework done sporadically, I hung out sporadically, and a short game of poker took place.
And yet I still sit here this Sunday night, obsessing over the same topic I just can't get over. And I don't understand it: is it a flaw with Davis, or is it a personal flaw? Whenever I vocalize this feeling I always realize how stupid it is, but at the same time I haven't been able to just move on.
And there's nowhere I'd really want to transfer to except for Berkeley, but I don't think I'd be as happy in Berkeley after spending my Freshman year here and making the friends I've made. I don't know. Maybe it's because I haven't visited home or the boys since January 2nd. I was thinking of doing both of those this weekend, but it's going to be sunny here this weekend and I want to stay here for that (you ask, why do I question how much I like this place when I refuse to leave, and I don't KNOW!!)
Jeff, Nate, Chris, Conor - You should come this weekend. I dare you. My roomate's going snowboarding, so the room's empty. We can have an orgy, and nobody will bother us (unless, maybe, they want to join).