Why should I understand everything?
I finished another William Nicholson novel! So beautiful. I think he just write all the words in my soul.
We are all connected.
This was a massive thought. He felt himself grow, reaching out into the trees and over the water and up into the night sky.
He saw then with astonishment what had always been there to see, what was so laughably obvious: the way all the elements of the world work together and could not exist without one another. The mountains need the plains, and the lakes need the hills. The river could not be a river without its riverbanks, and the high road would not be a road without the fields and forests through which it cuts its way. The shore needs an ocean, and the ocean needs a horizon and the horizon needs a sky.
The revelations exploded like fireworks in his mind. Every smallest thing is part of a greater whole. The greater things depend upon one another. Nothing is alone, nothing is without its function, nothing is without meaning. And seeing this, and knowing this, makes the world beautiful beyond imagining.
I am more than I know. I am all that I know. I am all there is.
----
"Go home," he said to her. "Say good-bye to your family and friends. Take nothing but the clothes you wear. And set out and find your life."
"And you?"
"I mean to do the same."
"Will I see you again?"
"I can't tell."
She took his hand in hers and held it.
"I wanted you to love me, Seeker. I wanted you like I wanted Kell: to have for myself. But I can't have you, can I? People can't have people."
"You wanted me to love you," he said. "But you never loved me."
He spoke without accusation in his voice. As she heard it, she knew it was true.
"No, I didn't. How strange."
"You don't love anyone."
"Is that bad?"
"Not everyone is a lover. Not everyone has to be completed by someone else."
"I'll just go on being me."
She had always known it, all her life.
------
And finally, my thoughts on religion--exactly, in a fictional novel:
"Nothing is dependable," said Seeker. "Nothing lasts."
"I don't know what that means."
"Does it make you angry, Star? To have been so deceived?"
"Not angry, no. I don't think I've been deceived. I think I've deceived myself."
"Because you wanted so much to believe in the All and Only?"
"Yes."
"So did I," said Seeker. "Strange to feel so much longing for something that doesn't exist."
"That's because even though it doesn't exist, we can imagine what it would be if it did."
"That's true," said Seeker. "And that's strange, too. We can imagine something that we've never known. What can the imagining consist of?"
"It's what you said. A longing."
"Like wanting love?"
"Very like wanting love," said Morning Star. "Oh, Seeker, it's so good talking with you again. No one else understand the way you do."
"So imagining god is like wanting love." Seeker was following his own train of thought, his eyes lingering on the blue cornflower. "But love does exist, even if we don't have it. We were loved when we were children. We know what it would feel like to be loved again. Maybe it's like that with god. We believed in god when we were children, didn't we?"
"But now we've grown older we know the Garden is empty. It was all a lie."
"And love is a lie?"
"No, no. That's different. At least, I hope it's different."
"You're willing to go on looking for love?"
"Oh, yes."
"Then why not go on looking for god, too?"
My whole book has tons of post-its but those were the quotes I feel most connected to.
We are all connected.
This was a massive thought. He felt himself grow, reaching out into the trees and over the water and up into the night sky.
He saw then with astonishment what had always been there to see, what was so laughably obvious: the way all the elements of the world work together and could not exist without one another. The mountains need the plains, and the lakes need the hills. The river could not be a river without its riverbanks, and the high road would not be a road without the fields and forests through which it cuts its way. The shore needs an ocean, and the ocean needs a horizon and the horizon needs a sky.
The revelations exploded like fireworks in his mind. Every smallest thing is part of a greater whole. The greater things depend upon one another. Nothing is alone, nothing is without its function, nothing is without meaning. And seeing this, and knowing this, makes the world beautiful beyond imagining.
I am more than I know. I am all that I know. I am all there is.
----
"Go home," he said to her. "Say good-bye to your family and friends. Take nothing but the clothes you wear. And set out and find your life."
"And you?"
"I mean to do the same."
"Will I see you again?"
"I can't tell."
She took his hand in hers and held it.
"I wanted you to love me, Seeker. I wanted you like I wanted Kell: to have for myself. But I can't have you, can I? People can't have people."
"You wanted me to love you," he said. "But you never loved me."
He spoke without accusation in his voice. As she heard it, she knew it was true.
"No, I didn't. How strange."
"You don't love anyone."
"Is that bad?"
"Not everyone is a lover. Not everyone has to be completed by someone else."
"I'll just go on being me."
She had always known it, all her life.
------
And finally, my thoughts on religion--exactly, in a fictional novel:
"Nothing is dependable," said Seeker. "Nothing lasts."
"I don't know what that means."
"Does it make you angry, Star? To have been so deceived?"
"Not angry, no. I don't think I've been deceived. I think I've deceived myself."
"Because you wanted so much to believe in the All and Only?"
"Yes."
"So did I," said Seeker. "Strange to feel so much longing for something that doesn't exist."
"That's because even though it doesn't exist, we can imagine what it would be if it did."
"That's true," said Seeker. "And that's strange, too. We can imagine something that we've never known. What can the imagining consist of?"
"It's what you said. A longing."
"Like wanting love?"
"Very like wanting love," said Morning Star. "Oh, Seeker, it's so good talking with you again. No one else understand the way you do."
"So imagining god is like wanting love." Seeker was following his own train of thought, his eyes lingering on the blue cornflower. "But love does exist, even if we don't have it. We were loved when we were children. We know what it would feel like to be loved again. Maybe it's like that with god. We believed in god when we were children, didn't we?"
"But now we've grown older we know the Garden is empty. It was all a lie."
"And love is a lie?"
"No, no. That's different. At least, I hope it's different."
"You're willing to go on looking for love?"
"Oh, yes."
"Then why not go on looking for god, too?"
My whole book has tons of post-its but those were the quotes I feel most connected to.