Culture Shock, Part 2
This time, instead of covering a single issue, I would like to present a few largely unrelated observations about the Indian way of life.
One of the most ubiquitous features of this culture is that it allows almost no personal space or privacy to anybody. You start by growing up sharing a room with your siblings. You stay with your parents and they continue having a say in most of your daily affairs at least up until you get married. Only then there is a chance that you might move out on your own, but only as a couple. At any given time in your life you are sharing your living accommodations with other people. In fact, living alone is considered to be an antisocial and potentially unhealthy behavior. Not surprisingly, then, the concept of personal space really has no opportunity to enter one's mind. The social repercussions of never having full personal control of your surroundings can be quite interesting, particularly with respect to not getting a chance to develop your own unique habits or even realizing what you really want out of life as an individual. But for now I will leave it at that.
At the same time, just about any information about anybody is available -- legally or otherwise -- for a small fee. Privacy laws are virtually nonexistent. But nobody seems to mind. In fact, it is rather amazing that you can ask perfect strangers almost anything and they would be generally happy to tell you their whole life stories in minute detail. It's an honor if somebody is interested in you, not an invasion of your so-called privacy. The paranoia about revealing any personal information that is so common in the United States is thought of as an incomprehensible peculiarity of the American national character. Worse yet, somebody's reluctance to open their phone records to aid their government's fight on terrorism is considered to be the pinnacle of selfishness and stupidity. On that last point, I tend to agree with the Indian way of thinking.
Moving along, another thing that surprised me while observing the locals is that, in spite of having clearly different functions in the society, in some ways Indian men and women act more as equals than their American counterparts. For instance, it is fairly typical for a woman to hold the umbrella when a mixed gender couple is walking down the street. Apparently, the Western idea of chivalry has never been introduced here, so it's a pretty rare sight to see a man opening a door for a woman or giving up a seat on a bus for her. It is not what's considered "common courtesy." Do so, and a woman might actually get offended.
Surprisingly, for a company that primarily focuses on Engineering and IT services, there is about an equal number of men and women at Infosys, unlike it is the case at most technology firms in the West. In fact, even in the most demanding menial jobs, women are expected to do their fair share, including tasks that involve moving large and heavy objects. In other words, the notion that women are somehow an inherently weaker gender -- or that they are less capable in Sciences and Engineering -- is apparently a purely Western point of view.
Getting back to the subject of "common courtesy," it might be argued that it is simply not a part of the Indian culture. In a country that is so densely populated, being constantly even marginally considerate of everybody you encounter would be an impossible task. Therefore, unless they are trying to sell you something, Indians appear to treat you as if you were an inanimate object. As somebody in our internship group suggested, it is helpful to visualize this by imagining yourself as a bottle of water. People look straight through you, unless there is a reason to do otherwise. Nobody would ever step aside for you unless you either try to somehow verbally persuade every single person on your way -- in whatever language you think they'll understand -- or simply push them aside.
On the other hand, being able to effectively maneuver in tight spaces, with cars, three-wheeled auto rickshaws, motorcycles, bicycles and people all sharing the same roads, is quite amazing -- and outright scary until you get used to it. Crossing a street through four lanes of chaotically moving traffic is an unforgettable experience every time you do it, but a necessary skill to learn as pedestrian crosswalks haven't been invented here yet. Even to a seasoned New Yorker, constantly being in close proximity to so many people or having to find your way through the crowd can be quite a challenge. And I haven't even been to Mumbai (Bombay) or New Delhi yet.
Finally, I would like to end today's post with some observations on what is seen as "generally acceptable behavior" here. Simply put, in public places virtually all physical contact between a man and a woman, perhaps with the exception of a business-style handshake, is considered totally inappropriate. This equally applies to married couples. In fact, during the Sexual Harassment training that we got, we were told that any kind of public display of affection, including holding hands, is strongly discouraged as it might actually contribute to a "hostile work environment."
That said, there is no such restriction on members of the same sex. Thus, the first time you walk down a street in India, you might get an impression that the whole country is gay. Everywhere you look, you'll see men walking together either hugging each other or holding hands. Odder still, they might not just hold hands, but interlock their pinkies instead. Yet since homosexuality is all but unheard of here, this is simply considered to be a sign of friendship and understanding.
Last night, as we were entering a dance club, we were informed that the cover charge is 300 rupees for couples and 450 for single men. And no, under absolutely no circumstances do two guys constitute a couple. Inquire about that and you will get a totally blank stare back. This doesn't even count as a joke. I guess they are not going to have any Gay Pride parades here in the foreseeable future...
And on that controversial note, I shall be signing off and going home.
One of the most ubiquitous features of this culture is that it allows almost no personal space or privacy to anybody. You start by growing up sharing a room with your siblings. You stay with your parents and they continue having a say in most of your daily affairs at least up until you get married. Only then there is a chance that you might move out on your own, but only as a couple. At any given time in your life you are sharing your living accommodations with other people. In fact, living alone is considered to be an antisocial and potentially unhealthy behavior. Not surprisingly, then, the concept of personal space really has no opportunity to enter one's mind. The social repercussions of never having full personal control of your surroundings can be quite interesting, particularly with respect to not getting a chance to develop your own unique habits or even realizing what you really want out of life as an individual. But for now I will leave it at that.
At the same time, just about any information about anybody is available -- legally or otherwise -- for a small fee. Privacy laws are virtually nonexistent. But nobody seems to mind. In fact, it is rather amazing that you can ask perfect strangers almost anything and they would be generally happy to tell you their whole life stories in minute detail. It's an honor if somebody is interested in you, not an invasion of your so-called privacy. The paranoia about revealing any personal information that is so common in the United States is thought of as an incomprehensible peculiarity of the American national character. Worse yet, somebody's reluctance to open their phone records to aid their government's fight on terrorism is considered to be the pinnacle of selfishness and stupidity. On that last point, I tend to agree with the Indian way of thinking.
Moving along, another thing that surprised me while observing the locals is that, in spite of having clearly different functions in the society, in some ways Indian men and women act more as equals than their American counterparts. For instance, it is fairly typical for a woman to hold the umbrella when a mixed gender couple is walking down the street. Apparently, the Western idea of chivalry has never been introduced here, so it's a pretty rare sight to see a man opening a door for a woman or giving up a seat on a bus for her. It is not what's considered "common courtesy." Do so, and a woman might actually get offended.
Surprisingly, for a company that primarily focuses on Engineering and IT services, there is about an equal number of men and women at Infosys, unlike it is the case at most technology firms in the West. In fact, even in the most demanding menial jobs, women are expected to do their fair share, including tasks that involve moving large and heavy objects. In other words, the notion that women are somehow an inherently weaker gender -- or that they are less capable in Sciences and Engineering -- is apparently a purely Western point of view.
Getting back to the subject of "common courtesy," it might be argued that it is simply not a part of the Indian culture. In a country that is so densely populated, being constantly even marginally considerate of everybody you encounter would be an impossible task. Therefore, unless they are trying to sell you something, Indians appear to treat you as if you were an inanimate object. As somebody in our internship group suggested, it is helpful to visualize this by imagining yourself as a bottle of water. People look straight through you, unless there is a reason to do otherwise. Nobody would ever step aside for you unless you either try to somehow verbally persuade every single person on your way -- in whatever language you think they'll understand -- or simply push them aside.
On the other hand, being able to effectively maneuver in tight spaces, with cars, three-wheeled auto rickshaws, motorcycles, bicycles and people all sharing the same roads, is quite amazing -- and outright scary until you get used to it. Crossing a street through four lanes of chaotically moving traffic is an unforgettable experience every time you do it, but a necessary skill to learn as pedestrian crosswalks haven't been invented here yet. Even to a seasoned New Yorker, constantly being in close proximity to so many people or having to find your way through the crowd can be quite a challenge. And I haven't even been to Mumbai (Bombay) or New Delhi yet.
Finally, I would like to end today's post with some observations on what is seen as "generally acceptable behavior" here. Simply put, in public places virtually all physical contact between a man and a woman, perhaps with the exception of a business-style handshake, is considered totally inappropriate. This equally applies to married couples. In fact, during the Sexual Harassment training that we got, we were told that any kind of public display of affection, including holding hands, is strongly discouraged as it might actually contribute to a "hostile work environment."
That said, there is no such restriction on members of the same sex. Thus, the first time you walk down a street in India, you might get an impression that the whole country is gay. Everywhere you look, you'll see men walking together either hugging each other or holding hands. Odder still, they might not just hold hands, but interlock their pinkies instead. Yet since homosexuality is all but unheard of here, this is simply considered to be a sign of friendship and understanding.
Last night, as we were entering a dance club, we were informed that the cover charge is 300 rupees for couples and 450 for single men. And no, under absolutely no circumstances do two guys constitute a couple. Inquire about that and you will get a totally blank stare back. This doesn't even count as a joke. I guess they are not going to have any Gay Pride parades here in the foreseeable future...
And on that controversial note, I shall be signing off and going home.