Culture Shock, Part 1

[letitbe]

While planning our summer travel, my wife got a book called "Culture Shock! India." Incidentally, it is highly recommended for anybody who is thinking of paying a visit here or just wants to expand their horizons. However, as I was reading it, there were a few things that I simply couldn't quite comprehend

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[letitbe]

Before we even get to the subject of divorce, it would help to first understand the concept of marriage in India, which is so fundamentally different from that in the West that much of this discussion does not make much sense in the local context.

First of all, marriages here are not arrangements between two people, but rather their entire families. A divorce is therefore a decision that would affect not just the man and the woman, but all of their parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles. And since one's happiness is so dependent on that of his family, how can a divorce possibly make one any happier?

Which brings me to the next point. Marriage in general is not expected to be about the "happy ever after." It's a responsibility, akin to having to work and to provide for yourself. One can certainly find satisfaction in it, but the whole point is not that, but rather continuation of your traditions and your family line. Failing at this is a shame. A divorce is admitting to being a complete failure. With that in mind, even suicide appears to be a far more acceptable solution.

The concept of personal choice doesn't even seem to enter the equation here, at least as far as traditional arranged marriages go.