yo no quería quererte y no lo pude evitar
I don't know why I've been feeling so anxious lately. But, I did some thinking today. I know since forever that I am so incredibly insecure. I seriously do not believe that I am good enough. And, maybe that's why I act so bitchy at times. I am so vulnerable also. I always look for what others have. Or so I feel. I am not feeling worthy lately. Life's not going in a good way. (I do not mean my way). I've been thinking that I was getting to a good period of my life when he appeared. I decided to be with him. And everything went down the drain. I feel that I was getting the confidence I needed and when he came he boosted it. Then, after being the asshole that he is, he took it all away. Now, I believe that I am looking for something. I don't know what it is. At some points, I believe it is approval. I've been humiliated so many times. I now feel the need to prove everybody wrong. I am going through at though period. Plus, I feel like a whale. I need to lose weight. Just thirty pounds. I'll be happy once I lose twenty, but I want thirty pounds gone. Can I actually do it? I'm sure as hell trying. Well, this is going to be my low-self esteem or anxiety (can't decide which)entry....for now.