[Hand Written Note 01]
We have been away from the center for over a week now. It is a strange feeling to have this kind of freedom, something that I have never truly experienced. Now that I am out, I can not help but feel lost, unsure of what to do with myself. People stare at me while we are out as if they know who I am. While I feel no shame of my background, the people I have taken, I do not like the way they are looking at me. I'm having thoughts again, the dreams are back, the feeling etching underneath my skin telling me that they need to be silenced before they can tell anyone else.
... I haven't had any medication, I can't sleep. Every time I try, they are there. I don't want to go back, I want to enjoy freedom as Deidara has done, is doing, but without control, what is there for me? I am a killer, I want to kill even though I don't. My head tells me one thing but I want to do the other.
No, I do not kill. I remove people from this plain that are not accepting of life, that hide those deadly sins, who are too weak hiding behind a visage. .....I don't know anymore.
Every night I hear noises coming from that room. Deidara doesn't stay the night with me anymore, always in there with that other and the noises. When I see him in the morning he does not looked pained. Is he in pain? Is he behind hurt by another? Or does he no longer require friendship with me?
((He will eat this note before anyone gets their hands on it))
... I haven't had any medication, I can't sleep. Every time I try, they are there. I don't want to go back, I want to enjoy freedom as Deidara has done, is doing, but without control, what is there for me? I am a killer, I want to kill even though I don't. My head tells me one thing but I want to do the other.
No, I do not kill. I remove people from this plain that are not accepting of life, that hide those deadly sins, who are too weak hiding behind a visage. .....I don't know anymore.
Every night I hear noises coming from that room. Deidara doesn't stay the night with me anymore, always in there with that other and the noises. When I see him in the morning he does not looked pained. Is he in pain? Is he behind hurt by another? Or does he no longer require friendship with me?
((He will eat this note before anyone gets their hands on it))