(no subject)
my body is uncooperative and stupid. or maybe i am the stupid one for getting myself into this mess. i've been on a very strict calorie-packing diet for the last week and my weight has not changed in the slightest. i am eating about 2-3 times what i was eating when i was losing weight and my weight actually keeps going back down every time i turn around... i am losing my mind. i don't know how long it has taken me to lose this weight because i did not regularly weight myself until i realized i was losing weight and my clothes stopped fitting me. i would assume my stomach shrank when i stopped eating normal foods due to my surgery. when everyone asks me if i am eating and none of my clothes fit well, i realize i look like complete shit. looking back at pictures from when i weighed closer to 105 instead of 95 lbs, i realize now how completely disgusting and out of shape my body is right now. i am doing everything i can, spending all my energy on planning my meals, but i am getting very discouraged. my body has always been quicker to lose weight than to gain, i don't know what else i can do but to eat as much as i possibly can and just wait for time to pass. maybe my stomach will start to man up and be able to hold the amount of food of an extra value meal instead of barely holding in a happy meal, that would be nice.