Things Remembered - Dream 03

[lethal_smile]

Warnings: Hints of domestic violence, mention of neglect, and the sudden dramatic abuse of a bead table.
Dream Effect: Sadness, emotional detachment, anger, and despair.

Comments

[madcuriosity]

[lethal_smile]

[Well, this isn't awkward or anything. Hakkai would like to explain, because in spite of the fact that he's learned how to use the filters now, the private filter still won't work for him. But, that sort of rambling at a time like this... it's not appropriate, is it?

He wonders if the filter hasn't been purposely disabled. If he could use it, he would filter all his dreams that way. The vast majority of them are just... not suitable to be viewed by other people. Ever. Especially someone as pure and innocent as Miss Alice. She should never be forced to see such things.]

I'm sorry, Miss Alice. I didn't mean to trouble you.

[madcuriosity]

Please... don't Mr. Hawk-eye. You didn't do anything wrong.

[lethal_smile]

I didn't?

[That's a strange thought. He always assumed that he had to have done something wrong, if....

But what a terrible thing to say to poor Miss Alice. He really ought to be ashamed of himself.]

I'm sorry, I....

[He was going to say that he wasn't thinking. But then, you just told him not to apologize, didn't you? Unfortunately, he just can't help it sometimes.]

[madcuriosity]

It isn't your fault.

[lethal_smile]

[That face. How can anyone say no to that face?]

Yes, I... you're right.

[And he's going to shut up now, before another "I'm sorry" leaks out of his mouth.]

[madcuriosity]

Were... [She doesn't know if she should ask. She wants too but it seems wrong.]

[lethal_smile]

Yes? [He pauses for a moment, but... it seems she might need some reassurance.]

It's all right if you have questions. It's normal to be curious, isn't it? So, please... ask me whatever you'd like to, Miss Alice, and I'll do my best to answer it.

[madcuriosity]

Did the orphanage treat you better?

[lethal_smile]

[There's no simple answer to that question, really.]

I suppose, in some ways. The food there was... edible, and I had clean clothes to wear. I didn't get along with the other children at all, though. Ha ha ha.

The sisters... they paid attention to me, but....

[madcuriosity]

.... [She's not sure she wants to hear what is beyond that 'but.'] But?

[lethal_smile]

By that point in time, I didn't really want them to.

[He didn't care for them. If anything, he hated them for taking him in, and for letting his mother leave. They were liars and hypocrites. He couldn't love them at all.]

I'm sure they were trying to be kind, but I didn't want them touching me. They tried to talk to me, one of the sisters even tried to hug me. But, somehow...

I didn't feel any of it.

[madcuriosity]

Are... you... Are you- [She doesn't really know what to ask. And what she wants to ask she shouldn't sure if she should.]

[lethal_smile]

I'm fine.

[He laughs a bit, not really sure if that's the answer you were looking for.]

That is... all of those things happened a long time ago. So, it got better... eventually.

[madcuriosity]

When you met your friends right? Or... was it when you became a professor?

Are you sure it's alright?

[lethal_smile]

Ah, well... things got better, then got worse, and then got better again. Sort of like a yo-yo, I suppose. Or a roller coaster.

People say that life is like a roller coaster, don't they? But, I'm afraid I've gotten a bit off track....