Dear LiveJournal...
I am very upset now. I am on my period and Im less sick than before. So Im a bit more clearheaded but not really. Sometimes I really really wish i had never done what I agreed to do that one day or that it wouldnt have turned out like this. When you are that hurt by something, why go back to it? Because im retarded, thats why. Now i cant picture life any differently than this and its like a big chain i have to carry around. I mean sometimes it isnt, but sometimes it is and WHEN it is its too heavy to carry around. And anyway, whats the use of yhis shit if there is no trust? There should be. but there isnt. And thats the troof. Its hard to forgive someone after everything, especially with someone as grudgeful as i am. And i guess that happened a long time ago...but damn...it must have hurt me that bad....cause it still feels like it was just a couple months ago.
things are falling apart...they have been falling apart...and i dont think well make it past Christmas...