to jooj.

Jan 21, 2009 18:19

Well, although I was in denial, I just spoke to you wife, Jooj. And she confirmed what Fuco said... so. I guess I need to speak. And say goodbye.

I guess this is the part where I say how great of a person you were, Dylan, or tell people just exactly what you did in the Army, or how much your wife and daughter loved you. How much your family and friends cared for you. But that goes without saying. You were adored. You were funny. You were charasmatic. You always made me and others laugh. I will never forget the first thing you told me when we met. I was speaking to Costa, and you said "YOU'RE TRYING TO RUIN OUR MARRIAGES." I had no idea what you meant by then. I think you were overtired. -- You were the best. You had your problems, but who didn't? Instead of being overbearing and sad for yourself, you were hilarious. You chose to entertain, quite like me, I suppose. You were the funniest one out of all of this. Way funnier than me. You were intelligent and quick. Deep, but you let on like you were a puddle. You didn't let people know how sad you were sometimes. But we cared. We all do. I'm surprised, to be honest. I just found out about your passing. I knew something bad happened, but I couldn't figure out to who. Now I know...

I haven't lost a friend since 2001, and honestly? I'm just in shock. I don't know what to think. I'm so sad, but I cant express it. The last time I talked to you I told you to hold on. heh. I regret that. I'm holding a lot of guilt. But I need to let that go. I need to learn to let things go.

We will always love and miss you, Dylan "Jooj" Kruger. You were the best. As I sit here crying, I listen to Avril Lavigne's "Keep Holding On" in a sort of ode to you. I know that you are happier in the afterlife than you were here, for a long time. And that, as your wife said, gives peace.

I know you're in a better place right now, Jooj. I know you're happier. I just know it. And for that, I am happier too. I cry for you because I miss you, but I am happy you're in heaven. God needed another angel.
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