busy emotions and trying to focus...
In the last month or so, I've been trying to find new teachers to replace those leaving at the end of this month. A lot of Asian countries are changing the requirements for the Teaching Visa...so I've been going back and forth with all the paperwork and document authentication stuff for hiring people. I've talked to some real idiots over the phone trying to get things straight.
I've even contacted CNN to try to see if they'll do a story about all the changes. The English Industry here in Asia is huge. Foreigners here don't think that anyone will go through all the trouble to get the requirements (additional Apostilled criminal background check, ready for the Visa application. I think it will cause a drop in people coming here for a bit, but then I think the standard will rise and the felony holding jerks who come here to work with kids...will be denied. I'm not sure how it's such a shock that we need a criminal background check to work with kids. I'm excited about the changes actually.
My Grandma is in hospice now. My Mom and sister went to visit but my Mom is staying there in Michigan with her now. My Grandma didn't want ANYONE taking care of her. She was pushing everyone away but now... she's just letting go of those stubborn feelings. She's about 85 lbs now but she was only 120 back in September when she first learned the cancer was back. It's been hard to keep my mind focused on work enough to keep everything going at once. Hearing her talk about her life and letting go has been really hard. I always break down on the phone when I call her. You know my Mom and Grandma don't cry for anything so...it's been hard to be tough when I call. Grandma doesn't want me to come home to see her...but then in the next breath, she asks when I'm coming home to visit. I have a little vacation in February but for 40 hours of traveling... I'll only have time to see her for about 30...I guess it's better than nothing. My Mom said I should try to come home for the funeral but I would rather see her alive, Grandma agrees with that. She's so proud of me and always told me to stay here in Korea no matter what happens.She even criticized me for going home for the weddings in September. She always told me that I should just stay here. I've felt like I've had to work as hard as I can to achieve more here... to make it worth it to be away from family and friends now. I've also been ashamed that I haven't been a better friend. My job is going really well but I haven't found a balance of working and living yet. I haven't kept in touch very well with anyone, even my friends in Seoul. I feel awful. Then, I don't feel like I can even call at all.
So, that's my mind lately...