fanfic: ken/leo; i wish you
rating: pg
wc: 1,328
summary: This is just a casual excuse for them. A reason for them to get together and expand the air bubble that compresses them daily. This is nothing.
Curled in his arms he actually does resemble a cat, stretching and yawning, the white taut skin of his stomach peeking out just the slightest as his sweater rides up. Jaehwan nearly has a heart attack at how cute Taekwoon could possibly be, which to his credit, the elder has hardly been since they first met. Naturally, their fated meeting was through Hakyeon, back when Jaehwan was still dating Kyungri and the world seemed to revolve perfectly on it’s axis. Taekwoon wakes easily now though, used to getting surprise kisses or tickles from Jaehwan, but in his defence the other could really do with keeping his guard up more often.
“Time is it?” Taekwoon mumbles sleepily, rolling over in Jaehwan’s arms to face the digital clock placed on the nightstand.
“It’s almost 6AM,” answers Jaehwan, trying to catch as much of Taekwoon as he can from within the dark room. “Go back to sleep.”
“How can I with you watching me like that,” he says placidly, but settles into Jaehwan, breathing out a deep, warm sigh. Taekwoon’s eyes fall closed again and Jaehwan traces the side of his face with his eyes for what seems to be forever. In a few hours they’ll have to really get up, Taekwoon has a morning class today and Jaehwan will make him a latte and they’ll have eggs together then Taekwoon will leave and later on in the day after Jaehwan’s showered and finished his thesis, Hongbin will appear by his side and make snide jokes about Jaehwan’s new ‘boyfriend’, but that isn’t right of course. Taekwoon isn’t his boyfriend, they aren’t dating, they aren’t anything. This is just a casual excuse for them. A reason for them to get together and expand the air bubble that compresses them daily. This is nothing.
“Yeah, but he usually isn’t like that with anyone,” Hongbin argues, scribbling some hidden words on a sheet of paper he refuses to let Jaehwan see.
“I don’t know how he is usually,” Jaehwan counters, trying to sound aloof. “What are you writing?”
“Nothing,” he replies, glancing for a second at one of the tables a few from their’s in the library. “You know Sanghyuk, right?”
“I know Hakyeon who knows Sanghyuk, yes.”
“Oh. Cool. Okay.”
Jaehwan tries hard to peer over at what it is exactly Hongbin is writing before the other quickly folds it up and shoves it in with the rest of his belongings. “You’re coming with us to the movies after you turn in your thesis, right?”
He grumbles, but otherwise answers as casually as he can, “What are you guys watching again?”
“Some sci-fi crap that Taekwoon likes, I don’t know.”
“Wow, you’re sure selling it,” Jaehwan snorts.
“Hey, I don’t need to sell anything. If Taekwoon’s going that’s already a sure-fire way to get Lee Jaehwan to show up.” Hongbin gathers all of his things up before standing, sending a teasing look to Jaehwan who remains flabbergasted.
“Hey!” Jaehwan manages to shout before a storm of ‘shushes’ get flung at him and he sinks into his seat, inwardly cursing both Hongbin and everyone around him.
The meetup time is 7PM, seeing as how the movie begins fifteen minutes after, but Jaehwan shows up thirty minutes early, freezing himself in the cold for ten minutes before he hears the familiar soft lilt of a voice that seems to have more of an effect on him than he is willing to admit to. Jaehwan presses into Taekwoon’s side swiftly, absorbing the warmth of the other and grinning brightly.
“You’re early,” he says through chattering teeth and Taekwoon’s small lips curl up cutely.
“You are too,” replies Taekwoon in his soft voice and Jaehwan feels his insides heat up.
“Don’t tell me you knew I’d be here so we could make out?” He says greasily, scrunching his nose playfully at the other.
“As if,” he huffs, hands shoved in his pocket as he leans against Jaehwan. “I really wanted to see this movie.”
“What a shame.” Jaehwan blinks up at Taekwoon, who is unfortunately taller, but he doesn’t mind the difference. “I really wanted to make out.”
Through the dim lighting outside the dark movie theater, Jaehwan can swear the blood rushes to Taekwoon’s face in that instant, making him as red as the scarf wrapped around his neck. “D-Don’t be stupid.”
If anything, it’s a little silly, for Jaehwan to be here of all places with Taekwoon. This night isn’t for them though, other will come to join them, but right now it’s just the two of them and Taekwoon is blushing of all things, embarrassed because of Jaehwan’s words and it makes the heat in his body scorch.
He can’t do this.
Thankfully, Hongbin arrives with Wonshik in tow and the two argue over snacks and seating and Jaehwan lets himself cool as he sits in the darkness of the cinema, a single armrest to separate he and Taekwoon. He can’t do this. Not now. There’s still something dark swimming in the pits of his heart, grabbing at him and dunking him back under from time to time. Taekwoon was a means of escaping this, of temporarily forgetting it when Jaehwan would become too overwhelmed. Jaehwan can’t do this to Taekwoon too, he can’t selfishly drag him down with him.
“See you around,” they all say to each other when the film ends, Jaehwan completely lost in his own thoughts. “Yeah,” he replies, without turning back, walking alone to his apartment, fingertips feeling icy.
There was only supposed to be something casual with the way he held himself, aloof and sometimes proud, but always giving off the vibe that everything was okay. He wanted to prove he was okay. Again, his own selfishness played it’s part in that, making him believe that having Taekwoon curled against him was enough to compensate for that, to prove he was okay and moving on. Having Taekwoon was supposed to be his excuse though, his was of showing that he was above it all. To show he was above falling in love again.
He can’t tell what time it is when he hears the knocking on his door and it’s almost automatic the way he answers it, eyes glossing over when Taekwoon is standing on the other side. “I was worried,” he blurts out, figure tall and yet so small in front of Jaehwan. “You’re a liar afterall.”
“What?” Jaehwan blinks away the look in his eyes, stands aside to let Taekwoon in as a cold breeze slips in as well.
“I was afraid you’d be lying about seeing me around or me seeing you around,” he rambles, teetering from side to side on his feet. “You looked like you were lying, I mean.”
“How do you figure?” Jaehwan asks haltingly, slipping the red scarf off of Taekwoon’s neck.
“You lie often,” he confesses, almost breathless. “To me and yourself.”
“Aren’t you just an insightful little guy,” he half-jokes, trying to sound playful, but it comes out a bit strained. Taekwoon, in an instant, grabs Jaehwan into his arms. “What are you--”
“I’m sorry I let you get away with your lies all the time,” Taekwoon confesses, voice soft and tender and making the inner corners of Jaehwan’s eyes blur with tears.
He hates it. Taekwoon is big and scary and mean and has the worst attitude of all, but he’s soft and small and cute and reads Jaehwan like an open book. He pulls Jaehwan out of the murky black water and mumbles soft lullabies to him in his sleep and eats up all of the burnt eggs Jaehwan cooks and holds his hand when he’s nervous and kisses him when he’s scared and Jaehwan hates it all.
“Am I really that bad at lying,” he asks, voice shaky with tears as he tries to smile and sniff them away. Taekwoon dabs at his eyes with caring fingers.
“Yes,” he says gently, carefully. “But, it’s okay.”
wc: 1,328
summary: This is just a casual excuse for them. A reason for them to get together and expand the air bubble that compresses them daily. This is nothing.
Curled in his arms he actually does resemble a cat, stretching and yawning, the white taut skin of his stomach peeking out just the slightest as his sweater rides up. Jaehwan nearly has a heart attack at how cute Taekwoon could possibly be, which to his credit, the elder has hardly been since they first met. Naturally, their fated meeting was through Hakyeon, back when Jaehwan was still dating Kyungri and the world seemed to revolve perfectly on it’s axis. Taekwoon wakes easily now though, used to getting surprise kisses or tickles from Jaehwan, but in his defence the other could really do with keeping his guard up more often.
“Time is it?” Taekwoon mumbles sleepily, rolling over in Jaehwan’s arms to face the digital clock placed on the nightstand.
“It’s almost 6AM,” answers Jaehwan, trying to catch as much of Taekwoon as he can from within the dark room. “Go back to sleep.”
“How can I with you watching me like that,” he says placidly, but settles into Jaehwan, breathing out a deep, warm sigh. Taekwoon’s eyes fall closed again and Jaehwan traces the side of his face with his eyes for what seems to be forever. In a few hours they’ll have to really get up, Taekwoon has a morning class today and Jaehwan will make him a latte and they’ll have eggs together then Taekwoon will leave and later on in the day after Jaehwan’s showered and finished his thesis, Hongbin will appear by his side and make snide jokes about Jaehwan’s new ‘boyfriend’, but that isn’t right of course. Taekwoon isn’t his boyfriend, they aren’t dating, they aren’t anything. This is just a casual excuse for them. A reason for them to get together and expand the air bubble that compresses them daily. This is nothing.
“Yeah, but he usually isn’t like that with anyone,” Hongbin argues, scribbling some hidden words on a sheet of paper he refuses to let Jaehwan see.
“I don’t know how he is usually,” Jaehwan counters, trying to sound aloof. “What are you writing?”
“Nothing,” he replies, glancing for a second at one of the tables a few from their’s in the library. “You know Sanghyuk, right?”
“I know Hakyeon who knows Sanghyuk, yes.”
“Oh. Cool. Okay.”
Jaehwan tries hard to peer over at what it is exactly Hongbin is writing before the other quickly folds it up and shoves it in with the rest of his belongings. “You’re coming with us to the movies after you turn in your thesis, right?”
He grumbles, but otherwise answers as casually as he can, “What are you guys watching again?”
“Some sci-fi crap that Taekwoon likes, I don’t know.”
“Wow, you’re sure selling it,” Jaehwan snorts.
“Hey, I don’t need to sell anything. If Taekwoon’s going that’s already a sure-fire way to get Lee Jaehwan to show up.” Hongbin gathers all of his things up before standing, sending a teasing look to Jaehwan who remains flabbergasted.
“Hey!” Jaehwan manages to shout before a storm of ‘shushes’ get flung at him and he sinks into his seat, inwardly cursing both Hongbin and everyone around him.
The meetup time is 7PM, seeing as how the movie begins fifteen minutes after, but Jaehwan shows up thirty minutes early, freezing himself in the cold for ten minutes before he hears the familiar soft lilt of a voice that seems to have more of an effect on him than he is willing to admit to. Jaehwan presses into Taekwoon’s side swiftly, absorbing the warmth of the other and grinning brightly.
“You’re early,” he says through chattering teeth and Taekwoon’s small lips curl up cutely.
“You are too,” replies Taekwoon in his soft voice and Jaehwan feels his insides heat up.
“Don’t tell me you knew I’d be here so we could make out?” He says greasily, scrunching his nose playfully at the other.
“As if,” he huffs, hands shoved in his pocket as he leans against Jaehwan. “I really wanted to see this movie.”
“What a shame.” Jaehwan blinks up at Taekwoon, who is unfortunately taller, but he doesn’t mind the difference. “I really wanted to make out.”
Through the dim lighting outside the dark movie theater, Jaehwan can swear the blood rushes to Taekwoon’s face in that instant, making him as red as the scarf wrapped around his neck. “D-Don’t be stupid.”
If anything, it’s a little silly, for Jaehwan to be here of all places with Taekwoon. This night isn’t for them though, other will come to join them, but right now it’s just the two of them and Taekwoon is blushing of all things, embarrassed because of Jaehwan’s words and it makes the heat in his body scorch.
He can’t do this.
Thankfully, Hongbin arrives with Wonshik in tow and the two argue over snacks and seating and Jaehwan lets himself cool as he sits in the darkness of the cinema, a single armrest to separate he and Taekwoon. He can’t do this. Not now. There’s still something dark swimming in the pits of his heart, grabbing at him and dunking him back under from time to time. Taekwoon was a means of escaping this, of temporarily forgetting it when Jaehwan would become too overwhelmed. Jaehwan can’t do this to Taekwoon too, he can’t selfishly drag him down with him.
“See you around,” they all say to each other when the film ends, Jaehwan completely lost in his own thoughts. “Yeah,” he replies, without turning back, walking alone to his apartment, fingertips feeling icy.
There was only supposed to be something casual with the way he held himself, aloof and sometimes proud, but always giving off the vibe that everything was okay. He wanted to prove he was okay. Again, his own selfishness played it’s part in that, making him believe that having Taekwoon curled against him was enough to compensate for that, to prove he was okay and moving on. Having Taekwoon was supposed to be his excuse though, his was of showing that he was above it all. To show he was above falling in love again.
He can’t tell what time it is when he hears the knocking on his door and it’s almost automatic the way he answers it, eyes glossing over when Taekwoon is standing on the other side. “I was worried,” he blurts out, figure tall and yet so small in front of Jaehwan. “You’re a liar afterall.”
“What?” Jaehwan blinks away the look in his eyes, stands aside to let Taekwoon in as a cold breeze slips in as well.
“I was afraid you’d be lying about seeing me around or me seeing you around,” he rambles, teetering from side to side on his feet. “You looked like you were lying, I mean.”
“How do you figure?” Jaehwan asks haltingly, slipping the red scarf off of Taekwoon’s neck.
“You lie often,” he confesses, almost breathless. “To me and yourself.”
“Aren’t you just an insightful little guy,” he half-jokes, trying to sound playful, but it comes out a bit strained. Taekwoon, in an instant, grabs Jaehwan into his arms. “What are you--”
“I’m sorry I let you get away with your lies all the time,” Taekwoon confesses, voice soft and tender and making the inner corners of Jaehwan’s eyes blur with tears.
He hates it. Taekwoon is big and scary and mean and has the worst attitude of all, but he’s soft and small and cute and reads Jaehwan like an open book. He pulls Jaehwan out of the murky black water and mumbles soft lullabies to him in his sleep and eats up all of the burnt eggs Jaehwan cooks and holds his hand when he’s nervous and kisses him when he’s scared and Jaehwan hates it all.
“Am I really that bad at lying,” he asks, voice shaky with tears as he tries to smile and sniff them away. Taekwoon dabs at his eyes with caring fingers.
“Yes,” he says gently, carefully. “But, it’s okay.”