wow bno i never said u weren't being nice...when i saw u in walmart..i felt kinda sad b/c there seemed to be an weirdness between us...and i remembered how close we used to be... ive been hearing that from people to though...
and as far as me and ryan go the only thing i said was im not going to pick sides b/c i don't want people mad at me cause if i hated ryan u and alex and wesley would of hated me ( u guys mean so much to me so i wouldn't want that) and if i hate jake then everyone else would hate me...
im sorry if u hate me (if thats how u feel) i understand that ryans ur brother cause alot of people don't like my sister yet blood is blood and it means alot more..i don't care if u hate me...it would hurt but all i ever want for u is to be happy...so ill just leave this with i love u
and ryan im sorry if u hate me too...yes ill say at the beginning of u and jakes fight..i went on jakes side..for one reason i hung out with jake more ..and another is that i had a best friend live with me...and i remembered how hurt i was..i don't mean to dwell on the past...but i seem to do that alot..and i guess i mean im sorry..i just miss everyone being friends..yes i do miss u..
and no offence to hannah or anything but u shouldn't talk about people like that..i did...and i began to hate myself...yeah i talked about u hannah..but i don't anymore...and i feel better about myself for not..thats not the type of person i am...and i felt bad and i appologized...and now i just leave it to not getting near u..and im sorry if u think that im talking about u but im not...just so u and the other people i know about know that..so there for i would apreciate it if u did the same to me...u may not be talking crap but u tell people that im not being nice to u...as i always said to ryan i always find things out...so im not trying to start thing im just saying im through with talking about u and i want things to be ...hmm..well i guess nothing between us...
To Bno- Yeah I know I'm a disappointment. Hearing that is nothing new, believe me. I hear it a lot at home. I'm sorry and I was in the wrong for saying that. You're totally right about rather having Ryan as a brother than any friends because blood is a lot thicker than water. You're an amazing kid and Ryan is lucky to have you to stick up for him and love him as much as you do. And I was wrong. When I was friends with Ryan, he was great and I loved him to death. I'm sorry that ended. I'm sorry a lot of friendships I had ended. I had a long talk tonight with a friend and I realized a lot. I realized that I am a disappointment and I just have to deal with that. I realized that I'm not the great person I wish I was and I fuck a lot of things up. I'm sorry for being a bitch and I'm sorry for being me. I love you and its okay if you dont love me back anymore. I totally would understand.
Beth- You're definitely right about me. I shouldn't talk about people like that. Its one of my many flaws. And thats very mature of you for just not talking to me. Its the right thing to do. And I dont take that as you starting more shit at all. Youre expressing your feelings and there is nothing wrong with that at all. And I'm sorry for all the shit I pulled by talking shit and all that. It was childish and just stupid. I've done a lot of growing up lately but I know I still have a long way to go. I'm sorry for ever hurting you or causing you any grief or anything. It was all bullshit, mainly my fault but I will take the entire blame because thats what I deserve. And there doesnt have to be anything between us if thats what you want because i respect that. I'm sorry that there was so much shit and our friendship is gone because it was a pretty good one. You will always be a part of me though and I will still get reminded of you whenever I bite my lip like you do when you're excited or when im dancing with friends and i start to do the dance we did at chasers and then stop myself or when i hear someone say "aww you hurt my jesus" and those will be great memories i will cherish forever.
I'm sorry to both of you, no, everyone, for being the way I am. For just being me. You're both better off without me. Everyone is. Fuck me and my bullshit. I'm sorry and I love you both and forever will. You don't have to love me back though bc im used to that from people.
Thank u hannah for understanding what i was trying to say..Ryan did make mistakes but yet everyone does...But his mistakes haven't hurt me ...so i shouldn't have a reason to hate him... i miss hanging out with him...it was always fun....i do and will always think that ryans beautiful
And hannah im sorry for not wanting to be ur friend...Yes it started out as u hurting joelle...well actually there was things about u that bothered me before...it always seemed like Boys were more important the ur friends to me...and im sorry that i felt that way...and yes i did have fun with u when there weren't boys around such as at ur dads house...But it all seemed to blow up after u hurt joelle...and again that has to do with me dwelling on my past...hmm...best friends mean everything to me and i would kill for my best friends..yet im having some troubles with my other one right now...it doesn't mean i wouldn't kill for her...yes u have shown me that u have matured by what u wrote to me...but yet theres still things that bother me about u...im not mad at u anymore...im more mad at the fact that ur mother sits there and talks about how she wants to kick my ass...hmm...i thought that was kinda...hmm.not going to say it because shes ur mother...but i think that its ur fights...were not even fighting and she says that...shes 32yrs old and im 17...she may be joking but i don't find it very funny....and that was manly why i wrote what i wrote so that u would understand that im not talking crap just b/c im not talking to u...and maybe its better that way because people who may be talking to u could be talking behind ur back...but im not talking to u nor about u...what i have too say ill say it to ur face which im doing right now...so i guess im left with happyness with u understanding...and me as well...who knows maybe in the future we'll be friends ...but not now...im sorry
Bno i hope u read what i wrote to u soon..i just want u to understand things and not to be mad at me if u are i love u with ym whole heart
wow bno i never said u weren't being nice...when i saw u in walmart..i felt kinda sad b/c there seemed to be an weirdness between us...and i remembered how close we used to be... ive been hearing that from people to though...
and as far as me and ryan go the only thing i said was im not going to pick sides b/c i don't want people mad at me cause if i hated ryan u and alex and wesley would of hated me ( u guys mean so much to me so i wouldn't want that) and if i hate jake then everyone else would hate me...
im sorry if u hate me (if thats how u feel) i understand that ryans ur brother cause alot of people don't like my sister yet blood is blood and it means alot more..i don't care if u hate me...it would hurt but all i ever want for u is to be happy...so ill just leave this with i love u
and ryan im sorry if u hate me too...yes ill say at the beginning of u and jakes fight..i went on jakes side..for one reason i hung out with jake more ..and another is that i had a best friend live with me...and i remembered how hurt i was..i don't mean to dwell on the past...but i seem to do that alot..and i guess i mean im sorry..i just miss everyone being friends..yes i do miss u..
and no offence to hannah or anything but u shouldn't talk about people like that..i did...and i began to hate myself...yeah i talked about u hannah..but i don't anymore...and i feel better about myself for not..thats not the type of person i am...and i felt bad and i appologized...and now i just leave it to not getting near u..and im sorry if u think that im talking about u but im not...just so u and the other people i know about know that..so there for i would apreciate it if u did the same to me...u may not be talking crap but u tell people that im not being nice to u...as i always said to ryan i always find things out...so im not trying to start thing im just saying im through with talking about u and i want things to be ...hmm..well i guess nothing between us...
thanks for reading
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Beth- You're definitely right about me. I shouldn't talk about people like that. Its one of my many flaws. And thats very mature of you for just not talking to me. Its the right thing to do. And I dont take that as you starting more shit at all. Youre expressing your feelings and there is nothing wrong with that at all. And I'm sorry for all the shit I pulled by talking shit and all that. It was childish and just stupid. I've done a lot of growing up lately but I know I still have a long way to go. I'm sorry for ever hurting you or causing you any grief or anything. It was all bullshit, mainly my fault but I will take the entire blame because thats what I deserve. And there doesnt have to be anything between us if thats what you want because i respect that. I'm sorry that there was so much shit and our friendship is gone because it was a pretty good one. You will always be a part of me though and I will still get reminded of you whenever I bite my lip like you do when you're excited or when im dancing with friends and i start to do the dance we did at chasers and then stop myself or when i hear someone say "aww you hurt my jesus" and those will be great memories i will cherish forever.
I'm sorry to both of you, no, everyone, for being the way I am. For just being me. You're both better off without me. Everyone is. Fuck me and my bullshit. I'm sorry and I love you both and forever will. You don't have to love me back though bc im used to that from people.
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And hannah im sorry for not wanting to be ur friend...Yes it started out as u hurting joelle...well actually there was things about u that bothered me before...it always seemed like Boys were more important the ur friends to me...and im sorry that i felt that way...and yes i did have fun with u when there weren't boys around such as at ur dads house...But it all seemed to blow up after u hurt joelle...and again that has to do with me dwelling on my past...hmm...best friends mean everything to me and i would kill for my best friends..yet im having some troubles with my other one right now...it doesn't mean i wouldn't kill for her...yes u have shown me that u have matured by what u wrote to me...but yet theres still things that bother me about u...im not mad at u anymore...im more mad at the fact that ur mother sits there and talks about how she wants to kick my ass...hmm...i thought that was kinda...hmm.not going to say it because shes ur mother...but i think that its ur fights...were not even fighting and she says that...shes 32yrs old and im 17...she may be joking but i don't find it very funny....and that was manly why i wrote what i wrote so that u would understand that im not talking crap just b/c im not talking to u...and maybe its better that way because people who may be talking to u could be talking behind ur back...but im not talking to u nor about u...what i have too say ill say it to ur face which im doing right now...so i guess im left with happyness with u understanding...and me as well...who knows maybe in the future we'll be friends ...but not now...im sorry
Bno i hope u read what i wrote to u soon..i just want u to understand things and not to be mad at me if u are i love u with ym whole heart
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