Haha ok 2010...fuck you! lol
This year, has been beyond a roller coaster. it has been sky diving without a fucking parachute and I'd know because I've been sky diving! lol. I'll have good things go well and bad things just plummet and break my heart over and over again. Its just a constant battle with my body and soul. My soul almost died, but thank god physical activity revived it and made me physically attractive again lol.
So I'm in Ireland...Been here since Jan. Since then, I've dropped 25 lbs...and stayed there lol. Still want my highschool body but instead I look like I'm aspiring to be a power lifter or something lol. I'm just looking at this year as one big laugh because I swear Ashton better come out and tell me I've been punked and that everything will be ok. I know thats not the case for me, but hey, I can be foolish for at least one second and believe that right? lol yeah no.
Love...... I don't understand it anymore. I know that I know how to love, but is it possible that other people cant? Or people just can't love me? I don't know. One thing that I am inlove with never lets me down; Music. I want to get voice lessons and be a singer. I can sing decent Ive been doing some open mic nights, some jam sessions with other artists, its good fun aside from all the rugby games and lifting session I've done here. Class, doesnt exist in Ireland lol..I love it lol I don't know. I'm not giving up on love, but I'm a girl, so I'm picky..there is only one person I have in mind. I can only hope. I feel like I'm good enough but does she? Who the fuck knows.
Anywho. I'm a strong girl, phys. and emotionally. can't wait for the season back home, that is if I have a real team and not a band of pussies who argue all the god damn time. that team is way to emotional. I can only hope for my life to make a turn. This year was suppose to be epic I turn 21 for pete's sake lol. Idk...I just dont know anymore.
Optimism is my friend...I guess.
So I'm in Ireland...Been here since Jan. Since then, I've dropped 25 lbs...and stayed there lol. Still want my highschool body but instead I look like I'm aspiring to be a power lifter or something lol. I'm just looking at this year as one big laugh because I swear Ashton better come out and tell me I've been punked and that everything will be ok. I know thats not the case for me, but hey, I can be foolish for at least one second and believe that right? lol yeah no.
Love...... I don't understand it anymore. I know that I know how to love, but is it possible that other people cant? Or people just can't love me? I don't know. One thing that I am inlove with never lets me down; Music. I want to get voice lessons and be a singer. I can sing decent Ive been doing some open mic nights, some jam sessions with other artists, its good fun aside from all the rugby games and lifting session I've done here. Class, doesnt exist in Ireland lol..I love it lol I don't know. I'm not giving up on love, but I'm a girl, so I'm picky..there is only one person I have in mind. I can only hope. I feel like I'm good enough but does she? Who the fuck knows.
Anywho. I'm a strong girl, phys. and emotionally. can't wait for the season back home, that is if I have a real team and not a band of pussies who argue all the god damn time. that team is way to emotional. I can only hope for my life to make a turn. This year was suppose to be epic I turn 21 for pete's sake lol. Idk...I just dont know anymore.
Optimism is my friend...I guess.