Self-indulgent Meandering
Current Song: Autolux -- Asleep at the Trigger.
Current Mood: Existentially Anxious.
Current Book: Endgame 1 (still).
Three Seventeen Tuesday morning. Can't sleep at all. The faint smell of leaves and garbage saturating the entire neighbourhood reminds me of time I spent up north camping with Beverly -- and I realize that I'm still asking many of the same questions. The same Why's; only now I'm a little farther down the road, because I can judge (accept/reject) that past experience as right or wrong in relation to other beliefs.
You act.
Why?
Because it's what you want.
Why?
Because you value one thing more than another.
Why?
Past experience has ruled some stimulus as more "positive" than another.
Why?
Because based on your predispositions you're more prone to act certain ways, making some situations and moods naturally more salient to your natural character than others.
Why?
Nobody knows.
There is a reality out there, but all you're getting of it is a version 2.0 filtered through your central nervous system. We know this because we can .change. your reality and manipulate it by changing and manipulating your CNS.
Consider this: two men see an object flying through the sky. To one, a baseball player, the object resembles a pop-fly. To the other, an avid birdwatcher, it looks from far-away like a pigeon. Or something along those lines, you know. But...both brains make the mistake -- mistake, because perhaps the object is truly a piece of granite a madman's dropped from an airplane to crush unsuspecting people -- both brains make the mistake of .falsely. perceiving the object, and what you see is what you think you see. That's .your. reality.
(1) You perceive primary features, but before an object can be .completely. feature-analyzed,
(2) Your brain kicks in and fills in the details with what it thinks is the most probable form given the situation or your past experience.
But you swear it's the truth, until more evidence comes into your perception to prove the truth or the contrary. You swear, it's the truth.
There is an objective reality out there, because the object has to be correctly perceived at some degree by all who perceive it. Thus it's in the correct analysis of given features, in a certain combinations, that make up the neural perception of any given object. These features must be what exists as objective reality.
With all these Why's floating around, we soon have to set up parameters of which commonalities meet everyone's "truth". Primary features in objects, primary aspects of behaviour constituting morality, etc.
And they do exist. But, I digress to more pointless topics: you know what really grinds my gears? Bullshitters. They're all over the place in almost every part of my life. They're coming in the goddam window like gnats. The people that, instead of giving you a real response (one that results from the culmination of their proclivities -- or-- their personality), instead of that they'll give you an angle. They want you to buy what they're selling, whether it's to see them in the light they wish, or for you to change your mind about something, or to sound nice, or to sound tough, or to sound smart, or whatever. I hate it because most of it is so pointless.
I heard some guy at Sobeys talking to his girlfriend in the fruit section, and with the stories he gave and the examples he used and the words he chose, it was all obvious that he wanted her to believe that he had a great knowledge of fruits. But why? What'll it serve if she thinks he's that much more cultured than she did before. Will that make him feel great the next time she comes to him with her fruit-buying questions, or will he feel really good the next time she mentions in passing to one of her girlfriends that he's super cultured because he knows how to spot a mango. It's fleeting, it's stupid.
Why?
As I left Zellers the other day, the woman in front of me (middle-aged, looked fairly healthy, carrying only one bag) hit the wheelchair remote access for the door. Stood back, waited for it to open, and .then. exited the store. Why? I mean, could the reasoning behind the move be something like, "Wait a minute...crippled people don't have to use their own energy...and here .I. am using my arms like a sucker!"
Could it be that the half-second of exertion is somehow a threat to you, or that it makes more sense to be lazy? Or have you gone right out of your fucking mind by thinking that .you're. the real victim, having to use your own energy, when you see the wheelchair remote access being used. It's fleeting, stupid.
It's the same flavour of infantile absent-mindedness that'll come to a head when everything safeguarding that degree of mental autopilot becomes threatened. Cut down on my energy? Not unless everybody else does, I'm not going to be the chump. Use my own arms? Not if old Gulf War Joe doesn't have to. That's not fair.
Right, I didn't mean to slip into a rant there -- but .these. are the kinds of things that bring me down. Stuff that doesn't have a .why. to go with it. Stuff that doesn't seem to have any motivation whatsoever...
/Marc.
It is life that matters, nothing but life -- the process of discovering, the everlasting and perpetual process, not the discovery itself, at all.
--Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
Current Mood: Existentially Anxious.
Current Book: Endgame 1 (still).
Three Seventeen Tuesday morning. Can't sleep at all. The faint smell of leaves and garbage saturating the entire neighbourhood reminds me of time I spent up north camping with Beverly -- and I realize that I'm still asking many of the same questions. The same Why's; only now I'm a little farther down the road, because I can judge (accept/reject) that past experience as right or wrong in relation to other beliefs.
You act.
Why?
Because it's what you want.
Why?
Because you value one thing more than another.
Why?
Past experience has ruled some stimulus as more "positive" than another.
Why?
Because based on your predispositions you're more prone to act certain ways, making some situations and moods naturally more salient to your natural character than others.
Why?
Nobody knows.
There is a reality out there, but all you're getting of it is a version 2.0 filtered through your central nervous system. We know this because we can .change. your reality and manipulate it by changing and manipulating your CNS.
Consider this: two men see an object flying through the sky. To one, a baseball player, the object resembles a pop-fly. To the other, an avid birdwatcher, it looks from far-away like a pigeon. Or something along those lines, you know. But...both brains make the mistake -- mistake, because perhaps the object is truly a piece of granite a madman's dropped from an airplane to crush unsuspecting people -- both brains make the mistake of .falsely. perceiving the object, and what you see is what you think you see. That's .your. reality.
(1) You perceive primary features, but before an object can be .completely. feature-analyzed,
(2) Your brain kicks in and fills in the details with what it thinks is the most probable form given the situation or your past experience.
But you swear it's the truth, until more evidence comes into your perception to prove the truth or the contrary. You swear, it's the truth.
There is an objective reality out there, because the object has to be correctly perceived at some degree by all who perceive it. Thus it's in the correct analysis of given features, in a certain combinations, that make up the neural perception of any given object. These features must be what exists as objective reality.
With all these Why's floating around, we soon have to set up parameters of which commonalities meet everyone's "truth". Primary features in objects, primary aspects of behaviour constituting morality, etc.
And they do exist. But, I digress to more pointless topics: you know what really grinds my gears? Bullshitters. They're all over the place in almost every part of my life. They're coming in the goddam window like gnats. The people that, instead of giving you a real response (one that results from the culmination of their proclivities -- or-- their personality), instead of that they'll give you an angle. They want you to buy what they're selling, whether it's to see them in the light they wish, or for you to change your mind about something, or to sound nice, or to sound tough, or to sound smart, or whatever. I hate it because most of it is so pointless.
I heard some guy at Sobeys talking to his girlfriend in the fruit section, and with the stories he gave and the examples he used and the words he chose, it was all obvious that he wanted her to believe that he had a great knowledge of fruits. But why? What'll it serve if she thinks he's that much more cultured than she did before. Will that make him feel great the next time she comes to him with her fruit-buying questions, or will he feel really good the next time she mentions in passing to one of her girlfriends that he's super cultured because he knows how to spot a mango. It's fleeting, it's stupid.
Why?
As I left Zellers the other day, the woman in front of me (middle-aged, looked fairly healthy, carrying only one bag) hit the wheelchair remote access for the door. Stood back, waited for it to open, and .then. exited the store. Why? I mean, could the reasoning behind the move be something like, "Wait a minute...crippled people don't have to use their own energy...and here .I. am using my arms like a sucker!"
Could it be that the half-second of exertion is somehow a threat to you, or that it makes more sense to be lazy? Or have you gone right out of your fucking mind by thinking that .you're. the real victim, having to use your own energy, when you see the wheelchair remote access being used. It's fleeting, stupid.
It's the same flavour of infantile absent-mindedness that'll come to a head when everything safeguarding that degree of mental autopilot becomes threatened. Cut down on my energy? Not unless everybody else does, I'm not going to be the chump. Use my own arms? Not if old Gulf War Joe doesn't have to. That's not fair.
Right, I didn't mean to slip into a rant there -- but .these. are the kinds of things that bring me down. Stuff that doesn't have a .why. to go with it. Stuff that doesn't seem to have any motivation whatsoever...
/Marc.
It is life that matters, nothing but life -- the process of discovering, the everlasting and perpetual process, not the discovery itself, at all.
--Fyodor Dostoyevsky.