Long Story Short.
Blah Blah blah blah. bLah BLAH BLAH
Suck ass.
I hafta clean this room, it looks like it was bombed & pissed on.
I'm in a major slump. I tried calling Thai, at her Mom's house, disconnected. At Chang's house, disconnected. Shang's ( one of her sisters ) cell, somebody else has the number. Ju's ( another sister ) cell, no return phone call. I'm sorta freakin' out. Fuckin' bitch, how can somebody disappear like that?
I went to the Mest concert on Thursday, it ruled. I got shitfaced, and called my friend Kenny on my cell phone all drunk, while Geoff was there. He wasn't thrilled, and nor am I. What can I do? I don't fuckin' understand my feelings or what I want anymore. There's too much that's out of reach, and it sucks much ass.
At the concert though, I went down in the crowd and somehow managed to lose my shoe. So I left, and went upstairs and chilled. After it was all over and done with, me & Geoff went downstairs and low & behold, one of the bouncers had my shoe. Thank God, it was my doc marten Mary Jane's too. I was pleased. But my feet are purple from bruises. I love concerts. I don't like Mest at all, but Dynamite Boy & Matchbook Romance rocked hard to me. But I'm a pussy.
I like Geoff. He's a really nice boy. But grow some balls, honestly. I try to tough him up, and make him be an asshole when he truly needs to be, he won't step up. I try to tell him about all my issues, how I feel inside, how I am. He could never relate, coming from the 'burbs, growing up with a Mom & Dad who call him at least 3 times a day, and after every conversation say 'I love you'. Nobody close to him has ever died or had something gravely bad happen to them. I'm not sayin' his life is rosies & daisies but my life has been anything but decent. I don't know. It really hurts not having somebody to confide in, and I really want him to get me, and he never could. He never fuckin' could get it.
I'm probably making zero sense right now, cuz I'm like senseless at the moment, but geezus, what on earth is wrong with me?
I called Charlotte & I'm going to see her Wednesday afternoon. Maybe I can talk to her and get some clues how to like not fall in this trap anymore.
Other news...went to Urban Outfitters & got a cool tank that says "I Don't Like You" on the front, and on the back it says "Stop Crying" I thought it was cool, so yea. I'm a loser.
That's my highlight.
Peace & love & all that good shit.
Suck ass.
I hafta clean this room, it looks like it was bombed & pissed on.
I'm in a major slump. I tried calling Thai, at her Mom's house, disconnected. At Chang's house, disconnected. Shang's ( one of her sisters ) cell, somebody else has the number. Ju's ( another sister ) cell, no return phone call. I'm sorta freakin' out. Fuckin' bitch, how can somebody disappear like that?
I went to the Mest concert on Thursday, it ruled. I got shitfaced, and called my friend Kenny on my cell phone all drunk, while Geoff was there. He wasn't thrilled, and nor am I. What can I do? I don't fuckin' understand my feelings or what I want anymore. There's too much that's out of reach, and it sucks much ass.
At the concert though, I went down in the crowd and somehow managed to lose my shoe. So I left, and went upstairs and chilled. After it was all over and done with, me & Geoff went downstairs and low & behold, one of the bouncers had my shoe. Thank God, it was my doc marten Mary Jane's too. I was pleased. But my feet are purple from bruises. I love concerts. I don't like Mest at all, but Dynamite Boy & Matchbook Romance rocked hard to me. But I'm a pussy.
I like Geoff. He's a really nice boy. But grow some balls, honestly. I try to tough him up, and make him be an asshole when he truly needs to be, he won't step up. I try to tell him about all my issues, how I feel inside, how I am. He could never relate, coming from the 'burbs, growing up with a Mom & Dad who call him at least 3 times a day, and after every conversation say 'I love you'. Nobody close to him has ever died or had something gravely bad happen to them. I'm not sayin' his life is rosies & daisies but my life has been anything but decent. I don't know. It really hurts not having somebody to confide in, and I really want him to get me, and he never could. He never fuckin' could get it.
I'm probably making zero sense right now, cuz I'm like senseless at the moment, but geezus, what on earth is wrong with me?
I called Charlotte & I'm going to see her Wednesday afternoon. Maybe I can talk to her and get some clues how to like not fall in this trap anymore.
Other news...went to Urban Outfitters & got a cool tank that says "I Don't Like You" on the front, and on the back it says "Stop Crying" I thought it was cool, so yea. I'm a loser.
That's my highlight.
Peace & love & all that good shit.