Thoughts that can kick me in the ass...
Am I so distracted by my past that I'm ruining something that could potentially be good with someone else? Is it worth me to constantly look at something I can't have, just to keep my heart from breaking because I already know she wouldn't have me again anyways? Is the potential one just not worth pursuing any further because the spark isn't enough to distract me from my past? I don't know if I'm just stopping myself from being happy because I feel like I don't deserve it, or if maybe there's a purpose for my old feelings to be stirred. There can't be.
Life needs to be more like a sitcom. There are no surprises with finales anymore. The good guy wins, the main characters get married to their "true love" everyone leaves feeling fulfilled. I don't know what any of this is for, I don't know where I'm going to be in a month from now, let alone who will be there for me. My life is the sitcom that gets cancelled, not the one that gets to conclude with any sense of satisfaction or completeness.
Life needs to be more like a sitcom. There are no surprises with finales anymore. The good guy wins, the main characters get married to their "true love" everyone leaves feeling fulfilled. I don't know what any of this is for, I don't know where I'm going to be in a month from now, let alone who will be there for me. My life is the sitcom that gets cancelled, not the one that gets to conclude with any sense of satisfaction or completeness.