worries
I have an interview at the public library Wednesday. It's 10 hours a week. That plus working at Chuck E Cheese's on weekends should keep me busy during school. Working only weekends there... I'll definitely miss the people I work with.
I work and babysit only (about) 35-40 hours this week. Last week it was almost 50.
This guy at work is nice, fun, and just awesome. I thought I might have a small crush on him. Not even that, but I thought it might be possible for me to be attracted to a guy, just like any other time when a guy pays a tiny bit of attention to me. And this last week has just been awkward. I didn't feel sad, uncomfortable, angry, or excited about (maybe) being gay. I didn't feel ANYTHING.
Even though I wouldn't have, I wanted to have the you-know-what talk with my parents last week. But coming out is so important, and I didn't want to come out as the wrong thing, so I didn't.
Now that gays are being more accepted, I don't really care what or who I am. I guess I don't feel as different anymore.
I told a friend that I didn't think I'm gay. I told her that I "wanted to be different and unique" quite a while ago and I thought a solution was to be gay. I'm still worried that I'm only "going through a phase."
And the way I see it... I've changed quite a bit over the past two years because of all this, and I would HATE to realize that I've changed so much and I'm not even gay. That shouldn't even be of concern, but it definitely is.
I'm more nervous than anything to start school next week. I'm not ready in the slightest bit. I don't have most of my books, I don't know the campus, and I'm not ready to go into something completely new. I'm starting fresh with hundreds of people who know nothing about me. I wanted this to be the time when I CAN start new and show people who I am, but I know absolutely nothing about myself.
I want to read (start and finish) one book by the end of summer.
I work and babysit only (about) 35-40 hours this week. Last week it was almost 50.
This guy at work is nice, fun, and just awesome. I thought I might have a small crush on him. Not even that, but I thought it might be possible for me to be attracted to a guy, just like any other time when a guy pays a tiny bit of attention to me. And this last week has just been awkward. I didn't feel sad, uncomfortable, angry, or excited about (maybe) being gay. I didn't feel ANYTHING.
Even though I wouldn't have, I wanted to have the you-know-what talk with my parents last week. But coming out is so important, and I didn't want to come out as the wrong thing, so I didn't.
Now that gays are being more accepted, I don't really care what or who I am. I guess I don't feel as different anymore.
I told a friend that I didn't think I'm gay. I told her that I "wanted to be different and unique" quite a while ago and I thought a solution was to be gay. I'm still worried that I'm only "going through a phase."
And the way I see it... I've changed quite a bit over the past two years because of all this, and I would HATE to realize that I've changed so much and I'm not even gay. That shouldn't even be of concern, but it definitely is.
I'm more nervous than anything to start school next week. I'm not ready in the slightest bit. I don't have most of my books, I don't know the campus, and I'm not ready to go into something completely new. I'm starting fresh with hundreds of people who know nothing about me. I wanted this to be the time when I CAN start new and show people who I am, but I know absolutely nothing about myself.
I want to read (start and finish) one book by the end of summer.