shits goin down
Usually I'm staying up all night and sleeping all day. I scheduled my earliest class at 11:30am for this very reason and still I've managed to fuck up and sleep through at least one class four or five times. On top of that, I'm having trouble staying awake in the middle of the day to the point where I can nap a good four hours even after a full night's rest.
This is going to be my first valentine's day in a long time without a girlfriend/date/etc. and this makes me feel bad. And by bad I mean sad. And by sad I mean it literally.
Sometime last month a jury summons for me was sent to my dad's house. He was the one to actually open it (he always opens my mail) and then bitched at me about how much of a responsibility it is that I take care of it, meanwhile I'm trying to assure him that I'm an adult and know how to handle it. Four days AFTER I'm supposed to appear I find the summons while digging through the drawers in my desk and realize how fucked I am. I'm exempt because I'm a student but it also threatens a fine from $100-$1000 for failing to comply.
The second week of school I miss my drawing class because I'm too busy bullshitting with professors/advisors/administration trying to get my spanish class situated. The prof is pleased when I email him and compliments me for doing exactly what I'm supposed to and lets me know what all to do for makeup work. I don't ever do it, and I don't even do the assignment from the week before. I go in to class once after that, and then miss four more times. I don't think I'm going to go back again. Last week I ended up seeing a movie instead of drawing. The World's Fastest Indian was really good. Memoirs of a Geisha was only ok. I guess I know at least one class I'll be taking this summer.
I'm beginning to think I'm not cut out for a university-level art program. I realized early how little it was worth to me to go through all the work the UH and Tech programs demanded, but still I want at least a minor. 21 hours, how hard could it be? Well so far I've got...3. I've enrolled in five courses (15 hours) and the only one I've passed I got a D, even though I got A's on most of my assignments. I can't motivate myself to do bullshit simple tasks in these introduction and fundamental courses which are required before I take the "advanced" stuff that really interests me. I'm not challenged to do a drawing that everybody in the class can easily do, and therefore I can't ever prioritize the task and do it. On top of that, these art classes have to be three hours a day (twice as long as any other class) twice a week. I don't know why, but it absolutely sucks having to schedule three hours a day to show up and draw at the slowest pace possible. I feel miserable just thinking about having to do it, and so obviously I haven't had a whole lot of success sticking through it.
And oh man, don't get me started about my major(s).
Yuck. I feel like crap.
Tomorrow I'm going back on induction. On top of restricting myself of any carbs & sugars, I'm only going to drink water, or if I have to, coffee. No more soda, at all. No more fast food either. If I have to eat out, it's gotta be wings or a salad. On top of that, I'm going to exercise at least three times a week. This will be the hard part considering my schedule and lack of access to equipment, but hell, I'm gonna at least do pushups and situps if I can't do anything else. Hardest of all, I'm not going to be able to drink anymore beer.
Oh, how I've grown to love beer. More than I love beer is trying new beer. It's all William and I have been doing lately, and what Jason and I did in Lubbock. Not anymore, and I don't know what I'm going to do yet in 43 days when its my 21st birthday, or even when it's William's 21st birthday, or Dani's, or Katie's; all march birthdays. Dammit I've screwed myself over again.
This is going to be my first valentine's day in a long time without a girlfriend/date/etc. and this makes me feel bad. And by bad I mean sad. And by sad I mean it literally.
Sometime last month a jury summons for me was sent to my dad's house. He was the one to actually open it (he always opens my mail) and then bitched at me about how much of a responsibility it is that I take care of it, meanwhile I'm trying to assure him that I'm an adult and know how to handle it. Four days AFTER I'm supposed to appear I find the summons while digging through the drawers in my desk and realize how fucked I am. I'm exempt because I'm a student but it also threatens a fine from $100-$1000 for failing to comply.
The second week of school I miss my drawing class because I'm too busy bullshitting with professors/advisors/administration trying to get my spanish class situated. The prof is pleased when I email him and compliments me for doing exactly what I'm supposed to and lets me know what all to do for makeup work. I don't ever do it, and I don't even do the assignment from the week before. I go in to class once after that, and then miss four more times. I don't think I'm going to go back again. Last week I ended up seeing a movie instead of drawing. The World's Fastest Indian was really good. Memoirs of a Geisha was only ok. I guess I know at least one class I'll be taking this summer.
I'm beginning to think I'm not cut out for a university-level art program. I realized early how little it was worth to me to go through all the work the UH and Tech programs demanded, but still I want at least a minor. 21 hours, how hard could it be? Well so far I've got...3. I've enrolled in five courses (15 hours) and the only one I've passed I got a D, even though I got A's on most of my assignments. I can't motivate myself to do bullshit simple tasks in these introduction and fundamental courses which are required before I take the "advanced" stuff that really interests me. I'm not challenged to do a drawing that everybody in the class can easily do, and therefore I can't ever prioritize the task and do it. On top of that, these art classes have to be three hours a day (twice as long as any other class) twice a week. I don't know why, but it absolutely sucks having to schedule three hours a day to show up and draw at the slowest pace possible. I feel miserable just thinking about having to do it, and so obviously I haven't had a whole lot of success sticking through it.
And oh man, don't get me started about my major(s).
Yuck. I feel like crap.
Tomorrow I'm going back on induction. On top of restricting myself of any carbs & sugars, I'm only going to drink water, or if I have to, coffee. No more soda, at all. No more fast food either. If I have to eat out, it's gotta be wings or a salad. On top of that, I'm going to exercise at least three times a week. This will be the hard part considering my schedule and lack of access to equipment, but hell, I'm gonna at least do pushups and situps if I can't do anything else. Hardest of all, I'm not going to be able to drink anymore beer.
Oh, how I've grown to love beer. More than I love beer is trying new beer. It's all William and I have been doing lately, and what Jason and I did in Lubbock. Not anymore, and I don't know what I'm going to do yet in 43 days when its my 21st birthday, or even when it's William's 21st birthday, or Dani's, or Katie's; all march birthdays. Dammit I've screwed myself over again.