FIC for roses_at_sunset "Finding Grey"

[mod_less]

Title: Finding Grey
Author: xnymphadorax
Recipient: roses_at_sunset
Rating: R
Word count: ~3,000
Warnings: Some foul language and mild sexual content
Summary: Severus's Patronus wasn't always a doe. But then again, neither was Lily's.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.K. Rowling.
Author’s Notes: roses_at_sunset, I’ve never been so inspired and yet so overwhelmingly intimidated

Comments

[xnymphadorax]

You're very welcome! Despite being terrified that I'd let you down, I'm really happy that I got your prompt. It forced me to push myself and I'm really proud of the product.

I'm so glad you enjoyed Sev's dark humor. I've never written him with such a cruel streak but it seemed fitting and his snarky jokes were a pleasure to write!

Isn't the raven just perfect for our boy!

You're right about Sev not daring to wish for more. The simplicity of having Lily all to himself was perfect happiness for him.

I wonder if, in speculating that it was in kindness to him or denial of James, Severus rather misses the point? It seems to me that it is more about Lily herself than it is about either man.

I think you're absolutely right. Severus still doesn't get it. At that point, Lily has finally realized what Severus doesn't understand until the very end. At that point, she has a lot of regret. Her virginity was an honor she had always intended for Severus and it was the last and most precious thing she could share with him. I thought of that night as a few things-- an apology for pushing him away, her acceptance (and mourning) of the fact that they can never be, and the tiniest iota of control that Lily can manage in a situation that she feels completely powerless in. I'm all full of squeeage that you saw that!

I quite enjoyed your rambling and I'm so happy that you enjoyed the story! Thank you for the inspiration!