FIC for torino10154: "Rekindle"
Title: Rekindle
Author: imisstheobvious/said_the_otter
Recipient: torino10154
Rating: G
Word Count: ~2,000
Warnings: None
Summary: The receipt of OWLs prompts a certain redhead to decide to see how her old friend is doing.
Disclaimer: Not my pups; I just play in the sandbox. Characters property of JKR.
Author's Notes: None to speak of.
Rekindle
Lily had to wonder who she'd managed to piss off upstairs, then reasoned it was more likely Petunia who'd done that. Of course their air conditioner would have issues on the hottest, muggiest week in the history of forever. She'd dealt with the stifling heat for two nights in a row, and there was no promise of it breaking any time soon.
Lily didn't think it would ever break.
It should have been better - cooler, at least - with the sun down. But with no breeze to stir the heat away, it remained around the house. The air was still, oppressive, and most of all, hot. If she'd only been a year older, she could have cast any number of spells on herself to lessen the impact of the heat, but as it was ... that simply wasn't to be.
Unable to sleep, she had simply sprawled on her bed in a tanktop and her knickers. Two fans were blowing the air around the room - her father had done that much at least - but blown hot air was still hot air, and it was providing little relief. This heat was ungodly. Hellish, even, if one would be so bold as to use that term.
While pondering various synonyms for the heat, Lily heard something scratching against the side of the house. She froze - not literally of course, though she wished she might - and she listened harder. It was most likely an animal of some sort, trying to find a cooler refuge beneath the house. When the sound didn't come again, she relaxed back against the bed.
And then she heard something rattling her screen.
More curious than afraid, Lily feigned sleep. She peered curiously through a veil of lashes toward the window, though she kept her body relaxed. She did wish she had her wand out, though it was tucked away in her trunk. She didn't want to get in trouble for using magic outside of school, after all.
Through half-closed lids, she saw a shadow in the screen, and then it started to lift. Her heart thundered in her chest, and she sat up then. "Who's there?" she called quietly. Had it been last year, before the ... incident near the lake, she would simply have assumed it was Severus.
If not for the fact that she believed he'd given up on speaking to her, she would have simply assumed it was him, now. Perhaps it was. It wouldn't have been the first time he'd come by her house this late or later; they often watched the stars at night, sneaking through the woods with her giggling and him rolling his eyes but still smiling.
The screen dropped back down with a soft thump, and she heard the muffled sound of footsteps as the would-be intruder ran away. She crossed to the window, peering out ... but the shadows hid everything but the vaguest hint of movement - though the movement was toward the path she knew Sev took to get to her house.
Reasoning that it had been him, and a little curious about it, Lily retreated back to bed to think about that.
~*~
A few weeks passed, and the incident with the near-intruder she assumed had been Severus was pushed from her mind by other things. By Petunia and the new boyfriend of hers. By shopping trips, by plans to travel, by questions about her plans for the future. She had few answers to give her parents - she didn't want to reveal too much of the brewing conflict, of the slowly but surely rising Voldemort, the Dark Lord, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Her father commented on the rash of mysterious murders in passing, but Lily knew all too well the answer to the 'mystery' behind the deaths of the Muggles.
She was afraid, of course, but not so afraid that it consumed her thoughts, or her life. She lived like any normal teenage girl would.
When her OWLs arrived, she was pleased with her scores. She had to explain them to her parents, and she was quite certain Petunia didn't understand the difference between the wizarding grading system and the Muggle one ... despite her repeated attempts to explain. Eventually, her sister had huffed off.
Even that didn't bother Lily.
What did bother her - and she was annoyed that it did - was that she wondered how Severus had done. She hadn't spoken to him since that time outside the portrait hole - not even on the train - and she wondered if it was right that she should miss him. But right or not, she did miss him. Was it too late, she wondered, to try to make up with him? Of course, he'd begged forgiveness, and she'd denied it to him for so long ... would he even want to still be friends?
Deciding there was only one way to find out, she decided to go see him.
~*~
Once she arrived at his house, she hesitated outside. She'd never come by herself, and only a time or two with him. He didn't like being around his house, which was perfectly understandable, all things considered. Knocking boldly at the front door, she waited for someone to answer it. When no one did, she knocked a little louder, listening intently to the sounds on the other side.
She heard the doorknob rattle, and she smiled as she took a step back.
Severus drew the door open slowly, and for a very long moment, he simply stared at Lily.
Lily stared right back, her head tilting curiously to one side. He'd grown, she realized, and a little smile touched at her lips. "Aren't you going to invite me in then?" she inquired. It was bold of her, she knew, but he was just standing there, staring at her like she'd grown a second head or something.
"You want to come in?" It wasn't an invitation, but an incredulous repetition of her question.
Lily sighed. "No, I walked all this way just to stand out in the hot sun on your doorstep. Yes, I want to come in." For half a second, Lily wasn't sure he was going to let her in. Eventually though, he took a step back and opened the door wider so she could cross into the house. The interior was as dim and miserable as she ever recalled it being. "So let's see them then," she said as she offered her own scroll out to him.
But he remained still and staring, as if he didn't quite understand what she was doing in his house acting as though nothing at all had gone wrong between them. Which, of course, he didn't. "Lily," he said hoarsely before he cleared his throat to try again. "What are you doing here?"
"Showing you my OWLs," she pointed out, twitching the parchment to emphasize her statement. When he still made no move to take them, she sighed as she dropped her hand. "I'm sorry, all right?"
As if her words were some sort of trigger, he moved. His arms wrapped around her, and his face buried in her hair against her shoulder. She could feel his breath escaping through it to whisper against her throat. And she felt his body shaking. Baffled, she wrapped her arms back around him lightly, before she hugged him just as fiercely as he hugged her. "I'm sorry," she repeated.
"No," he whispered. "Lily, no. Never you. I'm sorry. So sorry. I never meant--"
"Shh," she cut him off. "I know," she promised him. She didn't want to go over it. Not again. She'd managed to convince herself she could ignore it and it would go away, but she knew better, really. "I know you didn't mean it," she continued. "But I am sorry," she insisted. "I was hurt, and ashamed, and confused, and I shouldn't have ..." She shook her head, and her lips parted to continue speaking but she found she couldn't.
Because his lips were covering her own.
It was a sloppy kiss, a wet kiss, a first kiss. She drew her head back in surprise, emerald eyes blinking. He was ducking his head, already starting to release her, to move away from her, but she tightened her arms around him. "Don't," she said quietly.
For another long moment, they simply gazed at each other, emerald eyes searching his dark ones. There were things she was certain needed to be said, things to discuss, but maybe he'd been on the right track with the kiss. Maybe the talking part could wait. Just a little bit. She didn't understand this, not exactly, but instinct told her to go with it.
But not here. Not trapped in the darkness of a place he hated. "Get your paper," she murmured as she slid her hands down his arms. "And meet me by the pond." She turned away before he could question or protest, and was out the door. She thought she heard a faint sound from him, but she was moving already, running toward the place in the woods that hid the path to the pond. Their pond. Long legs stretched as she moved, though it was too warm still for this sort of exertion.
She didn't care. Not really. It cleared her head some, and she thought that was mostly what she needed right now. There were too many thoughts, each contradicting and conflicting with another.
Flopping down on the bank of the pond, slipping off her shoes to dip her feet in, she opened up the parchment again. Emerald eyes eased down the list of exams and her scores - though it wasn't long before Severus had shown up, breathless and sweaty. She held out her parchment expectantly, and this time he carried through. He took hers, swapping it with his own, and she looked over his results. Much the same as hers, and she smiled. So they could have all the same classes together, if they wanted. "So, you're dropping potions, right?" she said as she shifted her head to regard him.
"Oh, definitely," he agreed, a hint of a grin tugging at his lips. "The class is rubbish. Nothing useful in it." He settled down beside her, plucking his results from her hand. Rolling the parchments together, he set them aside - well away from the water. He wondered if he dared to believe it could be this easy. To simply fall back into the way things had been. "Unless you'll be taking it," he continued thoughtfully.
Lily sighed. "I thought about it, but ... I'm no good at it." She grinned before she rolled onto her side to face him. "So what should we do if we aren't taking potions?" she inquired, gazing at him.
He knew what he wanted to do. Laying down in front of her, he rolled to his side to face her. "We're all right?" he said, all teasing gone from his voice.
Lily dropped her eyes. So much for not talking. "I don't know," she admitted. "I want to be. I want us to be like we were before. Or better than before. I miss my friend," she said as she lifted her eyes to meet his.
He nodded. "I miss my friend, too," he said. "Lily, please. Take me back."
There was a part of her that knew she shouldn't. He was headed down a dark path, and she didn't know if she was enough to stop him from continuing there. She wanted to be enough ... but she didn't know if she was. "Am I enough, Sev?" she asked him sincerely, gazing intensely into his eyes.
He hesitated for a very long moment. He knew, better than she did, what she was asking. Was she enough to keep him out of the darkness? Did she shine brightly enough to light another path for him? Before the incident a few months ago, he wouldn't have known what to say to her had she asked that question. But the long months separated from her had shown him so many things. No dark magic, no power, no fame, no misplaced sense of belonging was enough to compensate for the loss of her.
"Yes," he said quietly. "You're enough, Lily."
The smile that curved her lips and lit her eyes was enough to tell him he'd made the right decision. Leaning in, he hesitated a little. He wanted to continue what he'd started in the house, but he was afraid she'd run away again as she had before. Where would she run to next? Wherever she went, he'd follow. She had to know that.
But she didn't pull away, or make any motion to run. Instead, her eyes half-closed, emerald irises nearly obscured. He half closed his eyes as well, closing the distance that remained between them.
And this time, she kissed him back.
Author: imisstheobvious/said_the_otter
Recipient: torino10154
Rating: G
Word Count: ~2,000
Warnings: None
Summary: The receipt of OWLs prompts a certain redhead to decide to see how her old friend is doing.
Disclaimer: Not my pups; I just play in the sandbox. Characters property of JKR.
Author's Notes: None to speak of.
Rekindle
Lily had to wonder who she'd managed to piss off upstairs, then reasoned it was more likely Petunia who'd done that. Of course their air conditioner would have issues on the hottest, muggiest week in the history of forever. She'd dealt with the stifling heat for two nights in a row, and there was no promise of it breaking any time soon.
Lily didn't think it would ever break.
It should have been better - cooler, at least - with the sun down. But with no breeze to stir the heat away, it remained around the house. The air was still, oppressive, and most of all, hot. If she'd only been a year older, she could have cast any number of spells on herself to lessen the impact of the heat, but as it was ... that simply wasn't to be.
Unable to sleep, she had simply sprawled on her bed in a tanktop and her knickers. Two fans were blowing the air around the room - her father had done that much at least - but blown hot air was still hot air, and it was providing little relief. This heat was ungodly. Hellish, even, if one would be so bold as to use that term.
While pondering various synonyms for the heat, Lily heard something scratching against the side of the house. She froze - not literally of course, though she wished she might - and she listened harder. It was most likely an animal of some sort, trying to find a cooler refuge beneath the house. When the sound didn't come again, she relaxed back against the bed.
And then she heard something rattling her screen.
More curious than afraid, Lily feigned sleep. She peered curiously through a veil of lashes toward the window, though she kept her body relaxed. She did wish she had her wand out, though it was tucked away in her trunk. She didn't want to get in trouble for using magic outside of school, after all.
Through half-closed lids, she saw a shadow in the screen, and then it started to lift. Her heart thundered in her chest, and she sat up then. "Who's there?" she called quietly. Had it been last year, before the ... incident near the lake, she would simply have assumed it was Severus.
If not for the fact that she believed he'd given up on speaking to her, she would have simply assumed it was him, now. Perhaps it was. It wouldn't have been the first time he'd come by her house this late or later; they often watched the stars at night, sneaking through the woods with her giggling and him rolling his eyes but still smiling.
The screen dropped back down with a soft thump, and she heard the muffled sound of footsteps as the would-be intruder ran away. She crossed to the window, peering out ... but the shadows hid everything but the vaguest hint of movement - though the movement was toward the path she knew Sev took to get to her house.
Reasoning that it had been him, and a little curious about it, Lily retreated back to bed to think about that.
~*~
A few weeks passed, and the incident with the near-intruder she assumed had been Severus was pushed from her mind by other things. By Petunia and the new boyfriend of hers. By shopping trips, by plans to travel, by questions about her plans for the future. She had few answers to give her parents - she didn't want to reveal too much of the brewing conflict, of the slowly but surely rising Voldemort, the Dark Lord, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Her father commented on the rash of mysterious murders in passing, but Lily knew all too well the answer to the 'mystery' behind the deaths of the Muggles.
She was afraid, of course, but not so afraid that it consumed her thoughts, or her life. She lived like any normal teenage girl would.
When her OWLs arrived, she was pleased with her scores. She had to explain them to her parents, and she was quite certain Petunia didn't understand the difference between the wizarding grading system and the Muggle one ... despite her repeated attempts to explain. Eventually, her sister had huffed off.
Even that didn't bother Lily.
What did bother her - and she was annoyed that it did - was that she wondered how Severus had done. She hadn't spoken to him since that time outside the portrait hole - not even on the train - and she wondered if it was right that she should miss him. But right or not, she did miss him. Was it too late, she wondered, to try to make up with him? Of course, he'd begged forgiveness, and she'd denied it to him for so long ... would he even want to still be friends?
Deciding there was only one way to find out, she decided to go see him.
~*~
Once she arrived at his house, she hesitated outside. She'd never come by herself, and only a time or two with him. He didn't like being around his house, which was perfectly understandable, all things considered. Knocking boldly at the front door, she waited for someone to answer it. When no one did, she knocked a little louder, listening intently to the sounds on the other side.
She heard the doorknob rattle, and she smiled as she took a step back.
Severus drew the door open slowly, and for a very long moment, he simply stared at Lily.
Lily stared right back, her head tilting curiously to one side. He'd grown, she realized, and a little smile touched at her lips. "Aren't you going to invite me in then?" she inquired. It was bold of her, she knew, but he was just standing there, staring at her like she'd grown a second head or something.
"You want to come in?" It wasn't an invitation, but an incredulous repetition of her question.
Lily sighed. "No, I walked all this way just to stand out in the hot sun on your doorstep. Yes, I want to come in." For half a second, Lily wasn't sure he was going to let her in. Eventually though, he took a step back and opened the door wider so she could cross into the house. The interior was as dim and miserable as she ever recalled it being. "So let's see them then," she said as she offered her own scroll out to him.
But he remained still and staring, as if he didn't quite understand what she was doing in his house acting as though nothing at all had gone wrong between them. Which, of course, he didn't. "Lily," he said hoarsely before he cleared his throat to try again. "What are you doing here?"
"Showing you my OWLs," she pointed out, twitching the parchment to emphasize her statement. When he still made no move to take them, she sighed as she dropped her hand. "I'm sorry, all right?"
As if her words were some sort of trigger, he moved. His arms wrapped around her, and his face buried in her hair against her shoulder. She could feel his breath escaping through it to whisper against her throat. And she felt his body shaking. Baffled, she wrapped her arms back around him lightly, before she hugged him just as fiercely as he hugged her. "I'm sorry," she repeated.
"No," he whispered. "Lily, no. Never you. I'm sorry. So sorry. I never meant--"
"Shh," she cut him off. "I know," she promised him. She didn't want to go over it. Not again. She'd managed to convince herself she could ignore it and it would go away, but she knew better, really. "I know you didn't mean it," she continued. "But I am sorry," she insisted. "I was hurt, and ashamed, and confused, and I shouldn't have ..." She shook her head, and her lips parted to continue speaking but she found she couldn't.
Because his lips were covering her own.
It was a sloppy kiss, a wet kiss, a first kiss. She drew her head back in surprise, emerald eyes blinking. He was ducking his head, already starting to release her, to move away from her, but she tightened her arms around him. "Don't," she said quietly.
For another long moment, they simply gazed at each other, emerald eyes searching his dark ones. There were things she was certain needed to be said, things to discuss, but maybe he'd been on the right track with the kiss. Maybe the talking part could wait. Just a little bit. She didn't understand this, not exactly, but instinct told her to go with it.
But not here. Not trapped in the darkness of a place he hated. "Get your paper," she murmured as she slid her hands down his arms. "And meet me by the pond." She turned away before he could question or protest, and was out the door. She thought she heard a faint sound from him, but she was moving already, running toward the place in the woods that hid the path to the pond. Their pond. Long legs stretched as she moved, though it was too warm still for this sort of exertion.
She didn't care. Not really. It cleared her head some, and she thought that was mostly what she needed right now. There were too many thoughts, each contradicting and conflicting with another.
Flopping down on the bank of the pond, slipping off her shoes to dip her feet in, she opened up the parchment again. Emerald eyes eased down the list of exams and her scores - though it wasn't long before Severus had shown up, breathless and sweaty. She held out her parchment expectantly, and this time he carried through. He took hers, swapping it with his own, and she looked over his results. Much the same as hers, and she smiled. So they could have all the same classes together, if they wanted. "So, you're dropping potions, right?" she said as she shifted her head to regard him.
"Oh, definitely," he agreed, a hint of a grin tugging at his lips. "The class is rubbish. Nothing useful in it." He settled down beside her, plucking his results from her hand. Rolling the parchments together, he set them aside - well away from the water. He wondered if he dared to believe it could be this easy. To simply fall back into the way things had been. "Unless you'll be taking it," he continued thoughtfully.
Lily sighed. "I thought about it, but ... I'm no good at it." She grinned before she rolled onto her side to face him. "So what should we do if we aren't taking potions?" she inquired, gazing at him.
He knew what he wanted to do. Laying down in front of her, he rolled to his side to face her. "We're all right?" he said, all teasing gone from his voice.
Lily dropped her eyes. So much for not talking. "I don't know," she admitted. "I want to be. I want us to be like we were before. Or better than before. I miss my friend," she said as she lifted her eyes to meet his.
He nodded. "I miss my friend, too," he said. "Lily, please. Take me back."
There was a part of her that knew she shouldn't. He was headed down a dark path, and she didn't know if she was enough to stop him from continuing there. She wanted to be enough ... but she didn't know if she was. "Am I enough, Sev?" she asked him sincerely, gazing intensely into his eyes.
He hesitated for a very long moment. He knew, better than she did, what she was asking. Was she enough to keep him out of the darkness? Did she shine brightly enough to light another path for him? Before the incident a few months ago, he wouldn't have known what to say to her had she asked that question. But the long months separated from her had shown him so many things. No dark magic, no power, no fame, no misplaced sense of belonging was enough to compensate for the loss of her.
"Yes," he said quietly. "You're enough, Lily."
The smile that curved her lips and lit her eyes was enough to tell him he'd made the right decision. Leaning in, he hesitated a little. He wanted to continue what he'd started in the house, but he was afraid she'd run away again as she had before. Where would she run to next? Wherever she went, he'd follow. She had to know that.
But she didn't pull away, or make any motion to run. Instead, her eyes half-closed, emerald irises nearly obscured. He half closed his eyes as well, closing the distance that remained between them.
And this time, she kissed him back.