Caen, or The Time Patrice Tried To Dump Me and Flo Was Clearly In Love
Oh Caen, you were a bizarre and unexpected and thoroughly awesome weekend.
My studies were putting me into a slump that almost bordered on a mild kind of depression. I was laying around in bed, unmotivated to do anything and not caring that I was just missing classes for no reason. Because of this weird mood I put off going to Caen for a long time that day. Finally I dragged myself out of bed, threw a few things into a bag (grabbing my leather jacket at the last minute on a whim) and sulked off to the train station.
I was running late for the train I wanted to take (of course) so I talked to the contrôleur before getting on and I decided to pay the ten euro fine for buying my ticket onboard instead of advance. I found a seat, knitted, stared out the window, and then suddenly I was in Caen and she'd never come by to sell me the ticket. That means I got there for free! The ticket would have cost me thirty-five euros!!
As usual, I started out going the wrong way from the train station, but unlike in Dijon I quickly realised my mistake and corrected myself, so I only wasted about fifteen minutes. My hotel was adorable and the lady behind the counter was precious, plus I had a room to myself which is my favourite thing. I love being alone.
The Troupe's hotel was right down the street from mine, literally a three minute walk, which was sheer luck because I'd guessed a different hotel which was slightly further away when I booked mine, and then bam they're next door. I went over to see what the dealio was but they were already gone. I chatted to three people who were just fans of fame and told me all about getting flotos with people like America Ferrera and Steven Spielberg. Congrats.
Also, IT WAS COLD.
I went back to my hotel for a while and just sort of flopped and blasted my iTunes. Best. And then I went back to their hotel after showtime.
There were fans I knew EVERYWHERE. I was running around bisous'ing them all and being like Hay gurl hay! and listening to the latest gossip and generally loving my life. The weird mopiness was gone as soon as I saw the crowds at the hotel and the barriers and just. My life. The things that make my life magic.
The bus arrived and a bunch of dancers debarked, but I was so busy chattering I barely paid attention. Anyway I've met everyone in the Troupe and I've already picked my favourites. At this point I'm there for them and for the show. The others are just the others.
When the van came and Patrice got out he looked kinda pissy so I didn't yell for him and he went straight inside. The other fans were like Um... what what what are you doing? and I was like He looked tired? and they just sighed and shook their heads. So they instructed me to text him and I did so, and for one the moflo answered rather quickly saying he was tired and hadn't seen me but Jocelyne had just told him she had a ticket for me for the next night. Aw yay Mama Mozart!!
By the way, it was Floflo's birthday in case you didn't know.
Now, I hesitated when I was first told I should go to Caen. I didn't want to see Flo on his birthday because it was seeing Mikele on *his* birthday at the PDS that made me fall out of love with him after a year and a half of dedication. And you know that love never quite came back. On Mikele's birthday he was just grabbing presents without even barely looking at the fans, collecting them and then taking them inside to dump them into a pile, then going back for more. It was so tacky. I was terrified of being disillusioned with Floflo, who is, as you may know, a Magical Angel Man.
But I needn't have worried! Flo arrived at the hotel and he ran by at first, which was quite disappointing, but a while later he returned to tend to all the fans. FLORENT MOTHE YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART.
Now, I'm sure you remember him teasing me about Patrice in Rouen. When it came my turn to talk to him, he flipping did it again. So I threatened to beat him up.
Even if it's your birthday
Someone who saw this video expressed concern that Flo was being really sweet for offering to get PA-trice for me and I shouldn't have threatened him, but unfortunately you don't see in the video that he had his Sassy Face on. You know, the smug little pursed-lips face he makes with the twisted little grin? Sassy Face. And he you don't see his confused amusement when I threatened him. What I'm trying to say is, HE LIKES IT.
Anyway, after Flo went in and Nuno went running by miming out his need to sleep when a fan called him and waving and smiling giantly when he saw me (also I think Mikele made the rounds and said Ciao to me) I went back to my hotel and crashed in my glorious giant single room. No host sister's alarm clock to wake me up at the buttcrack of dawn the next morning, no trains going by every few minutes right outside the window... Ahhh.
The next morning there was deceptive sunlight streaming through my window. I went to hotel breakfast and smuggled out a baguette under my shirt so I wouldn't have to buy food later in the day, then headed on down to the hotel for morning stagedooring tiemz.
It was cold. The sun was a lie. And we were all standing in the shadow of the hotel. And I was wearing a sleeveless shirt.
I didn't complain, I just stood there with my arms crossed, strategically placed to be able to stop Patrice, but various fans kept coming over and asking if I was okay. A few would rub my arms for me to try to warm me up and another finally loaned me her jacket for a few minutes and said we could trade off. You guys my heart was so full of love. Finally a girl went to her car and came back with a jacket for me to wear. Omg I love Mozartiennes why can't this be forever? Why can't I just stay with them and we can all be awesome and annoy Flo and be ignored by Patrice until the end of time?
I realised I hadn't taken any pictures at all, so I noticed Estelle was wearing crazy shoes again and got a picture of them.
Patrice finally came rushing out pretty close to showtime (he always seems to sleep late in the morning, that goober) and this time you better believe I said his name. He bisous'd me all distractedly and told me again that Jocelyne had a ticket for me for the evening show before he and Nuno went rushing away on foot to the Zénith. I had heard it was about thirty minutes away if you walk. Also, when Patrice walks anywhere his long gangly arms flap everywhere, and when he's in a hurry it's even moreso. His awkwardness is so precious to me.
So I went back to my hotel again and I just went to sleep. I slept the whole afternoon away and it was great. I think that was me sleeping off the last of my mopey slump.
Now, my giant concern was getting back to the hotel from the Zénith. Thirty minutes on foot is not good, especially if you have an evasive boyfran in the Troupe who doesn't seem to care about seeing you this weekend and always rushes back from the show. The whole walk to the Zénith I was timing myself, checking possible shortcuts, stuff like that. I got a teeny bit turned around and ended up at a carnival, but that was kind of neat and it just was so, like, America-y over there. It was out in the middle of a field and there was gravel and the rides were the kind that clearly collapse and fold away... omg, so home-like.
Anyway I got to the Zénith and went to the little VIP window to pick up my ticket. I saw the list and there was my name... "Erine Sand." Sand being Jocelyne's last name and "Erine" being the way "Eh-hrheen" should probably be spelled. AW OMG. Also, there was no backstage pass. Which means Patrice putting in a backstage pass at Dijon was him being actively wonderful.
The seat was kind of high up and way off to one side. I struck up a conversation with the girl next to me who'd gotten a free ticket from some Zénith employee she knows and I was like YOU ARE IN FOR A FREAKING AWESOME SHOW DUDE.
Also apparently French X Factor was filming something there that day, because suddenly a camera crew was going up the aisle and girls were freaking out. I was like I'm sorry but is Florent Mothe involved? No? Then I don't give a rat's behind.
During intermission I found kmee and the girls and we just kind of chilled. I asked them if they could fit me into their car on the way back to the hotel and they couldn't, sad face. Plus the Zénith was super full, so we weren't able to find any seats closer up.
BUT THEN. As I was going back to my seat I saw an empty spot on the front row. Figuring there was nothing to lose I asked the girls on either side if there was someone there... THERE WASN'T. I flipped out. FRONT ROW MOTHALICKAS.
I'd be lying if I said Patrice wasn't a little bit off that night as Da Ponte. I don't know what his deal was that weekend, but oh well because everyone else more than made up for it. Mikele seemed to spot me later on in the show, during scenes where he's serious and supposed to be dying, so he didn't make a face or anything. And Flo put on a beautiful performance because he always does, but especially when I get close to the stage. It happened in Lille and it happened in Bruxelles and it happened in Bordeaux and now it happened in Caen. I'm not specifically claiming that seeing me makes him be awesome, but now that you mention it... haha. Or maybe being that close to the stage makes me realise how awesome he always is. Or maybe he loves me.
During curtain call I noticed that Mikele had a star-shaped patch on his trousers and tried to capture it through the art of photography but with little result.
Flo and I exchanged long grins during C'est bientôt la fin. My favourite thing was that I ended up near kmee and the girls, all rabid Flo fans, and a long time ago during C'est bientôt la fin I realised that instead of singing "encore encore encore encore encore" Floflo always goes Whoaaaa-ohhh-ohhhhh ohhh-ohhhh whoaaa-ohhhhh! and so I started doing that too. One show I forgot which Flo saw what I was doing and seemed amused. Anyway, that day as I was doing the Flo-whoas I realised that kmee and all the girls (there were five of them) were doing the same thing. So I turned around and we were all like AW YEAH CHECK US OUT. Haha.
At the very end of the show, like as the curtain was going down, Patrice Maktav FINALLY looked at me and made an awkward peace sign. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU BOYFRAN. Sigh.
Anyway, then I threw some fans out of my way and I mothereffing BOLTED on up outta there. I speedwalked back to the hotel, like going so fast that I had to take off my jacket because I was kinda sweating. And don't forget it was outlandishly cold. I don't know how quickly I made the walk, but when I arrived panting at the hotel the other fans were like OH MY GOD YOU WERE FAST. And I was like HECK-*gasp*-YEAH!-*splutter* and stuff. I felt like a boss. In fact, several minutes after I had finally caught my breath a car full of fans showed up and I recognised them as having been next to me during curtain call. I WAS FASTER THAN A CAR.
And yet, it was all to no avail. Jocelyne didn't hear me when I called for her to try to thank her for the ticket and my stupid boyfran didn't hear me either. He had some dinner with him and was really distracted because he'd dropped his bread and it had landed in his bag but he couldn't quite figure out where it had gone.
I saw Olivier Schultheis, that guy who like, was in the band last year when there was a band and who is visible a lot in the C'est bientôt la fin video. He and Dove Attia were goofing off together.
But they went in and I didn't get to get a floto or anything.
I was about to get depressed. It was my next-to-the-last weekend with the tour and it wasn't really going as well as previous weekends. Though I mean, free ticket, first row seat, I can't complain TOO much, honestly.
Mikele arrived and started gradually making the rounds. I asked him for a floto and he said Of course, but give me a second with my future wife and turned to this tiny child who was clearly in love with him. It was so sweet. The kid was elated and then her mom came over to take the picture and Mikele was like Oh hey, you must be my future mother-in-law! And then he started taking Charlies Angels pictures with random fans. It was fun to watch. FINALLY he came back over to me and we got this.
I don't know why Mikele still kind of intimidates me. He's just so unreal-seeming. I could never, like, chat with him the way I can with my boys. By which I mean Flo and Nuno and Patrice.
So then Floflo arrived on the scene, that elderly thirty-year-old man, and I embedded myself into the crowd in order to get my dang Floto. If Patrice won't talk to me, at least I can count on my first love to be nice.
When he saw me, Flo got all Sassy Face and went, "I thought you were tired of all this..." so I said, "Are you kidding?" and, being kind of ridiculously adorable, Flo very seriously answered, "Yes."
He was being really attentive to my words despite the fact that he was pausing a lot to sign things and take pictures. He came back to me every time. So I continued to say words to him.
Me: I have to leave soon. After Toulouse. I know you're bummed.
Flo: Why??
Me: My program ends and I have to go home.
Flo: What program?
Me: I'm a student.
Flo: Where?
Me: At the Sorbonne... in Paris.
Flo: La Sorbonne? What do you study?
Me: French. Can't you tell?
Flo: Ça va alors?
Me: Ooouuui... est-ce qu'on peut faire une photo?
Flo: You would not rather take one with Patrice?
Me: You shut your mouth!
And remember when I said Flo likes my bullying? LOOK AT HIS FACE IN THIS FLOTO.
DON'T DENY THAT YOU LOVE ME FLORENT MOTHE. What are you going to DO when I leave and there's no one left who isn't scared of your beauty?
As he was releasing me from his shoulder-grip of love there, I said something like "You know, I actually haven't really seen Patrice all weekend..." and Flo was immediately like "Well, he is a real artist, you know, his head is always..." and he kind of ran out of English and gestured really vaguely. Point taken. Boyfran is a flake. I'm picking up on that. So then I asked him if he could tell Jocelyne I said thanks and he was all Sure!
Anyway so I had texted my dumb boyfran again in hopes he would come hang after he was done eating, so while I was waiting I decided to get a floto with Valeryjetaime, the time-travelling wedding photographer.
And then I waited. And waited.
Nuno was being cute with fans, so I went over and he bisous'd me and was all English-y and sweet, so I asked if he could please tell Jocelyne I said thanks he and he was like, "For what?" so I said "She got me a ticket!!" and then I said "Also if you, um, see Patrice?" and he said "I will send him." The Noonster, aw.
Anyway, the hotel had a little bar attached to the side, and as the fans started clearing out I became aware that there was a raging cast party sort of thing going on inside said bar. Before long everyone had gone home for the night. I saw one girl waiting so I creeped over and struck up a conversation. She turned out to be a hardcore Mikele fan but it was her first time seeing the show and meeting the Troupe. I'm not entirely sure why she was waiting. I'm not entirely sure why *I* was waiting.
Cosplay Cassandre came out of the bar and asked us for a cigarette. She's the sort of fan who thinks of fan boundaries differently than I do, so the fact that she had dared to go into the bar where the Troupe was getting drunk shocked me. She said it was crazy, they were all dancing to Lady GaGa in there. I asked if Patrice was in there too and she said yes. I asked if she was SURE and she said yes. Meanwhile we could see the stairs in the hotel so we knew when members of the Troupe left the party and we never saw Patrice go by on those stairs. By the way, I don't know what you know about Cosplay Cassandre, but she isn't exactly noted for her honesty.
I continued to chat with the Mikele fan for ages. It was SO COLD OMG. Like, teeth-chattering and shivering cold. There was a little crowd of dancers and stuff smoking at the door of the bar, and suddenly, around 2:30am, Flo emerged from that crowd and came strolling up to the two of us. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and went "It's Erin, right?"
YES IT IS. Not Eh-hrheen, not Er-ron, but actual Erin. Not that I don't LOVE the other two pronunciations, obviously. I'm going to miss being Eh-hrheen next week when I'm home.
NEXT WEEK OH GOD MY SOUL JUST GOT NAUSEATED.
Anyway. So Flo was chatting with me. I was all YEP I AM ERIN and he asked the other girl her name. She answered, but then added in French that she doesn't speak any English. Flo looked at me all suspiciously again and went "Mais tu parles français?" and I went "Ouuuuiiii..." haha. And then some random people appeared out of the night and asked Flo for a picture. He said sure and then suddenly he grabbed my arm and went THIS IS AN AMERICAN FAN. and they were like Uhhhh okay... and Flo posed with them for their Floto.
The other girl was like My friends just texted me saying they dared to go into the bar!!! and I was like OMG I WOULD NEVER. She said ME NEITHER OH LAWD and I was like Also, who gives a crap about the interior of the bar THIS IS FLO and he's here to HANG WITH US. But she didn't care, she was a Mikele fangirl, and she went into the bar to find her friends and her fave, leaving me alone with Florent Mothe.
When the other fans cleared out Flo just decided to hang with me. And we chatted. Reposted from the Florum:
HE CAME OVER TO CHAT AND HE WAS ASKING ME ABOUT MY LIFE IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY PATRICE WAS DOING LAST WEEK (JEALOUSSS) AND HE PRONOUNCED MY HOMETOWN ALL FRENCH AND HE ASKED WHAT I WAS DOING AFTER I GET MY DIPLOMA AND HE WAS LIKE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE A TEACHER AND I WAS LIKE NO MY PARENTS ARE TEACHERS AND HE WAS LIKE MY MOM WAS A TEACHER AND WE WERE LIKE YEAHHH AND THEN HE ASKED IF NORTH CAROLINA WAS CLOSE TO CANADA AWWWWWW AND THEN I WAS LIKE I WANT TO MOVE TO NEW YORK AND HE WAS LIKE WHAT WILL YOU DO AND I WAS LIKE NOT STARVE AND HE WAS CONFUSED
WHAT
OMG THANK YOU FOR ABANDONING ME PATRICE
Anyway yeah that was the gist of our conversation. And he kind of wandered off so I was still there alone. I decided to text Jacinta (it came out like this: Omfg patrice wouldnt come out to hang w me but flo did! Wtf omg nfreaking out and mikele in a sombrero) but while I was in the middle of typing I heard "ERIN!!" I literally jumped in surprise and my head snapped up. Flo was leaning against the building, wearing a backwards baseball cap, bellowing my name. He pointed to the doors of the bar and said "Go. Inside." I was like Noooo nooo I am a fan and you are the Troupe and I dare not profane your bar with my presence nooooo. And I finished my text and sent it and then I heard "ERIN!!!!!" and again it was Flo shouting at me. OMG WHAT. He said "Go inside! It's. COLD." So I took one reluctant step forward and Florent Mothe marched over and put a hand at my back and grabbed my arm with his other hand and he literally dragged me up to the bar. Meanwhile my brain was spluttering out in a fit of IS THIS THE REAL LIFE IS IT JUST FANTASY and Florent Mothe pulled me through the crowd of smoking dancers and said in French Did you guys know we have an American fan??? and I heard Nuno's voice answer "Yes! Er-ron!" from the back of the group. Then Florent Mothe pushed me through the doors of the bar and said "Now. Do you see anyone you know?" I glanced around in a panic and I recognised a fan named Marie, so I pointed and was like HER. And so Flo pushed me again and went "Vas-y!" and just like that, I was invited to the cast party. I wasn't a creepy fan who had dared to just go inside, no. Florent Mothe, the famous-est and talented-est one in the Troupe, ORDERED me to go inside. He DRAGGED me inside.
It was awesome.
From the Florum:
AND THEN I WAS IN THE BAR FOR TWO HOURS AND EVERYONE WAS DANCING AND I SAW FLO DO THE YMCA AND MIKELE KEPT TRYING TO SEDUCE PEOPLE WITH HIS SOMBRERO AND HIS PIANO SKILLS AND MERWAN WAS TRYING TO CROWD SURF AND THERE WERE SILLY HATS EVERYWHERE
The dancers from MOR are really good at dancing UNTIL THEY GET SLOPPY DRUNK and then they're just a bunch of idiots in dumb hats and shades flailing around maniacally
WHATTTTTT
Everybody was tipsy at the very least, and I was sitting there trying not to look totally overwhelmed when Nuno came up and threw an arm around my waist and was like "Eh-ron, I am going to sleep. I--" and then he bisous'd me. And then Merwan came up to ask him for something and while continuing to cling to me Nuno pulled some kind of cord out of his guitar case with his free hand to pass off. And then Merwan went away and Nuno turned back around and was like "I am so tired, okay, so I am going to sleep." and then he bisous'd me again and went away. And I was like Um okay.
Did I mention Mikele danced to Le Freak?
And here are pictures from other peoples' facebooks:
I also saw Flo and Mikele pushing their lil faces together to try to take pictures of themselves being silly, Merwan completely lost his mind and was all over the dang place with his crazy dancing and his shades, and Mikele kind of creeped me out. He was selecting fans and leading them off to this piano, where he would sit them on the bench and play and gaze into their eyes. It was so odd. And later when he passed me he put a hand on my cheek and gazed at me with his glittery shark eyes and I was like Umm? And usually that's a weird moment between us anyway but this time he was drunk so it went on WAYYYYY too long. Jesus Mikele you are kinda terrifying sometimes.
By the way, mere words cannot express how cold I still was. I spent this whole time in the bar trying to stop feeling like I was on death's doorstep, but it was useless. Once Flo went to bed, around 5am, I dragged myself back to my hotel and buried myself under every available blanket, which was a lot of blankets, and still woke up several times during the night due to freezing.
The next morning I rolled out of bed and went off to the hotel door one last time, still not quite sure what had happened to me.
It was uneventful. Patrice blew me off again, just kind of waving when I called his name and then basically leaving at a run, and the only other person I had a moment with was the awesome dancer who played Rosenberg in Mozart Est Là:
She was such a sweetheart.
And then I went home.
The only thing left for me is Toulouse...
My studies were putting me into a slump that almost bordered on a mild kind of depression. I was laying around in bed, unmotivated to do anything and not caring that I was just missing classes for no reason. Because of this weird mood I put off going to Caen for a long time that day. Finally I dragged myself out of bed, threw a few things into a bag (grabbing my leather jacket at the last minute on a whim) and sulked off to the train station.
I was running late for the train I wanted to take (of course) so I talked to the contrôleur before getting on and I decided to pay the ten euro fine for buying my ticket onboard instead of advance. I found a seat, knitted, stared out the window, and then suddenly I was in Caen and she'd never come by to sell me the ticket. That means I got there for free! The ticket would have cost me thirty-five euros!!
As usual, I started out going the wrong way from the train station, but unlike in Dijon I quickly realised my mistake and corrected myself, so I only wasted about fifteen minutes. My hotel was adorable and the lady behind the counter was precious, plus I had a room to myself which is my favourite thing. I love being alone.
The Troupe's hotel was right down the street from mine, literally a three minute walk, which was sheer luck because I'd guessed a different hotel which was slightly further away when I booked mine, and then bam they're next door. I went over to see what the dealio was but they were already gone. I chatted to three people who were just fans of fame and told me all about getting flotos with people like America Ferrera and Steven Spielberg. Congrats.
Also, IT WAS COLD.
I went back to my hotel for a while and just sort of flopped and blasted my iTunes. Best. And then I went back to their hotel after showtime.
There were fans I knew EVERYWHERE. I was running around bisous'ing them all and being like Hay gurl hay! and listening to the latest gossip and generally loving my life. The weird mopiness was gone as soon as I saw the crowds at the hotel and the barriers and just. My life. The things that make my life magic.
The bus arrived and a bunch of dancers debarked, but I was so busy chattering I barely paid attention. Anyway I've met everyone in the Troupe and I've already picked my favourites. At this point I'm there for them and for the show. The others are just the others.
When the van came and Patrice got out he looked kinda pissy so I didn't yell for him and he went straight inside. The other fans were like Um... what what what are you doing? and I was like He looked tired? and they just sighed and shook their heads. So they instructed me to text him and I did so, and for one the moflo answered rather quickly saying he was tired and hadn't seen me but Jocelyne had just told him she had a ticket for me for the next night. Aw yay Mama Mozart!!
By the way, it was Floflo's birthday in case you didn't know.
Now, I hesitated when I was first told I should go to Caen. I didn't want to see Flo on his birthday because it was seeing Mikele on *his* birthday at the PDS that made me fall out of love with him after a year and a half of dedication. And you know that love never quite came back. On Mikele's birthday he was just grabbing presents without even barely looking at the fans, collecting them and then taking them inside to dump them into a pile, then going back for more. It was so tacky. I was terrified of being disillusioned with Floflo, who is, as you may know, a Magical Angel Man.
But I needn't have worried! Flo arrived at the hotel and he ran by at first, which was quite disappointing, but a while later he returned to tend to all the fans. FLORENT MOTHE YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART.
Now, I'm sure you remember him teasing me about Patrice in Rouen. When it came my turn to talk to him, he flipping did it again. So I threatened to beat him up.
Even if it's your birthday
Someone who saw this video expressed concern that Flo was being really sweet for offering to get PA-trice for me and I shouldn't have threatened him, but unfortunately you don't see in the video that he had his Sassy Face on. You know, the smug little pursed-lips face he makes with the twisted little grin? Sassy Face. And he you don't see his confused amusement when I threatened him. What I'm trying to say is, HE LIKES IT.
Anyway, after Flo went in and Nuno went running by miming out his need to sleep when a fan called him and waving and smiling giantly when he saw me (also I think Mikele made the rounds and said Ciao to me) I went back to my hotel and crashed in my glorious giant single room. No host sister's alarm clock to wake me up at the buttcrack of dawn the next morning, no trains going by every few minutes right outside the window... Ahhh.
The next morning there was deceptive sunlight streaming through my window. I went to hotel breakfast and smuggled out a baguette under my shirt so I wouldn't have to buy food later in the day, then headed on down to the hotel for morning stagedooring tiemz.
It was cold. The sun was a lie. And we were all standing in the shadow of the hotel. And I was wearing a sleeveless shirt.
I didn't complain, I just stood there with my arms crossed, strategically placed to be able to stop Patrice, but various fans kept coming over and asking if I was okay. A few would rub my arms for me to try to warm me up and another finally loaned me her jacket for a few minutes and said we could trade off. You guys my heart was so full of love. Finally a girl went to her car and came back with a jacket for me to wear. Omg I love Mozartiennes why can't this be forever? Why can't I just stay with them and we can all be awesome and annoy Flo and be ignored by Patrice until the end of time?
I realised I hadn't taken any pictures at all, so I noticed Estelle was wearing crazy shoes again and got a picture of them.
Patrice finally came rushing out pretty close to showtime (he always seems to sleep late in the morning, that goober) and this time you better believe I said his name. He bisous'd me all distractedly and told me again that Jocelyne had a ticket for me for the evening show before he and Nuno went rushing away on foot to the Zénith. I had heard it was about thirty minutes away if you walk. Also, when Patrice walks anywhere his long gangly arms flap everywhere, and when he's in a hurry it's even moreso. His awkwardness is so precious to me.
So I went back to my hotel again and I just went to sleep. I slept the whole afternoon away and it was great. I think that was me sleeping off the last of my mopey slump.
Now, my giant concern was getting back to the hotel from the Zénith. Thirty minutes on foot is not good, especially if you have an evasive boyfran in the Troupe who doesn't seem to care about seeing you this weekend and always rushes back from the show. The whole walk to the Zénith I was timing myself, checking possible shortcuts, stuff like that. I got a teeny bit turned around and ended up at a carnival, but that was kind of neat and it just was so, like, America-y over there. It was out in the middle of a field and there was gravel and the rides were the kind that clearly collapse and fold away... omg, so home-like.
Anyway I got to the Zénith and went to the little VIP window to pick up my ticket. I saw the list and there was my name... "Erine Sand." Sand being Jocelyne's last name and "Erine" being the way "Eh-hrheen" should probably be spelled. AW OMG. Also, there was no backstage pass. Which means Patrice putting in a backstage pass at Dijon was him being actively wonderful.
The seat was kind of high up and way off to one side. I struck up a conversation with the girl next to me who'd gotten a free ticket from some Zénith employee she knows and I was like YOU ARE IN FOR A FREAKING AWESOME SHOW DUDE.
Also apparently French X Factor was filming something there that day, because suddenly a camera crew was going up the aisle and girls were freaking out. I was like I'm sorry but is Florent Mothe involved? No? Then I don't give a rat's behind.
During intermission I found kmee and the girls and we just kind of chilled. I asked them if they could fit me into their car on the way back to the hotel and they couldn't, sad face. Plus the Zénith was super full, so we weren't able to find any seats closer up.
BUT THEN. As I was going back to my seat I saw an empty spot on the front row. Figuring there was nothing to lose I asked the girls on either side if there was someone there... THERE WASN'T. I flipped out. FRONT ROW MOTHALICKAS.
I'd be lying if I said Patrice wasn't a little bit off that night as Da Ponte. I don't know what his deal was that weekend, but oh well because everyone else more than made up for it. Mikele seemed to spot me later on in the show, during scenes where he's serious and supposed to be dying, so he didn't make a face or anything. And Flo put on a beautiful performance because he always does, but especially when I get close to the stage. It happened in Lille and it happened in Bruxelles and it happened in Bordeaux and now it happened in Caen. I'm not specifically claiming that seeing me makes him be awesome, but now that you mention it... haha. Or maybe being that close to the stage makes me realise how awesome he always is. Or maybe he loves me.
During curtain call I noticed that Mikele had a star-shaped patch on his trousers and tried to capture it through the art of photography but with little result.
Flo and I exchanged long grins during C'est bientôt la fin. My favourite thing was that I ended up near kmee and the girls, all rabid Flo fans, and a long time ago during C'est bientôt la fin I realised that instead of singing "encore encore encore encore encore" Floflo always goes Whoaaaa-ohhh-ohhhhh ohhh-ohhhh whoaaa-ohhhhh! and so I started doing that too. One show I forgot which Flo saw what I was doing and seemed amused. Anyway, that day as I was doing the Flo-whoas I realised that kmee and all the girls (there were five of them) were doing the same thing. So I turned around and we were all like AW YEAH CHECK US OUT. Haha.
At the very end of the show, like as the curtain was going down, Patrice Maktav FINALLY looked at me and made an awkward peace sign. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU BOYFRAN. Sigh.
Anyway, then I threw some fans out of my way and I mothereffing BOLTED on up outta there. I speedwalked back to the hotel, like going so fast that I had to take off my jacket because I was kinda sweating. And don't forget it was outlandishly cold. I don't know how quickly I made the walk, but when I arrived panting at the hotel the other fans were like OH MY GOD YOU WERE FAST. And I was like HECK-*gasp*-YEAH!-*splutter* and stuff. I felt like a boss. In fact, several minutes after I had finally caught my breath a car full of fans showed up and I recognised them as having been next to me during curtain call. I WAS FASTER THAN A CAR.
And yet, it was all to no avail. Jocelyne didn't hear me when I called for her to try to thank her for the ticket and my stupid boyfran didn't hear me either. He had some dinner with him and was really distracted because he'd dropped his bread and it had landed in his bag but he couldn't quite figure out where it had gone.
I saw Olivier Schultheis, that guy who like, was in the band last year when there was a band and who is visible a lot in the C'est bientôt la fin video. He and Dove Attia were goofing off together.
But they went in and I didn't get to get a floto or anything.
I was about to get depressed. It was my next-to-the-last weekend with the tour and it wasn't really going as well as previous weekends. Though I mean, free ticket, first row seat, I can't complain TOO much, honestly.
Mikele arrived and started gradually making the rounds. I asked him for a floto and he said Of course, but give me a second with my future wife and turned to this tiny child who was clearly in love with him. It was so sweet. The kid was elated and then her mom came over to take the picture and Mikele was like Oh hey, you must be my future mother-in-law! And then he started taking Charlies Angels pictures with random fans. It was fun to watch. FINALLY he came back over to me and we got this.
I don't know why Mikele still kind of intimidates me. He's just so unreal-seeming. I could never, like, chat with him the way I can with my boys. By which I mean Flo and Nuno and Patrice.
So then Floflo arrived on the scene, that elderly thirty-year-old man, and I embedded myself into the crowd in order to get my dang Floto. If Patrice won't talk to me, at least I can count on my first love to be nice.
When he saw me, Flo got all Sassy Face and went, "I thought you were tired of all this..." so I said, "Are you kidding?" and, being kind of ridiculously adorable, Flo very seriously answered, "Yes."
He was being really attentive to my words despite the fact that he was pausing a lot to sign things and take pictures. He came back to me every time. So I continued to say words to him.
Me: I have to leave soon. After Toulouse. I know you're bummed.
Flo: Why??
Me: My program ends and I have to go home.
Flo: What program?
Me: I'm a student.
Flo: Where?
Me: At the Sorbonne... in Paris.
Flo: La Sorbonne? What do you study?
Me: French. Can't you tell?
Flo: Ça va alors?
Me: Ooouuui... est-ce qu'on peut faire une photo?
Flo: You would not rather take one with Patrice?
Me: You shut your mouth!
And remember when I said Flo likes my bullying? LOOK AT HIS FACE IN THIS FLOTO.
DON'T DENY THAT YOU LOVE ME FLORENT MOTHE. What are you going to DO when I leave and there's no one left who isn't scared of your beauty?
As he was releasing me from his shoulder-grip of love there, I said something like "You know, I actually haven't really seen Patrice all weekend..." and Flo was immediately like "Well, he is a real artist, you know, his head is always..." and he kind of ran out of English and gestured really vaguely. Point taken. Boyfran is a flake. I'm picking up on that. So then I asked him if he could tell Jocelyne I said thanks and he was all Sure!
Anyway so I had texted my dumb boyfran again in hopes he would come hang after he was done eating, so while I was waiting I decided to get a floto with Valeryjetaime, the time-travelling wedding photographer.
And then I waited. And waited.
Nuno was being cute with fans, so I went over and he bisous'd me and was all English-y and sweet, so I asked if he could please tell Jocelyne I said thanks he and he was like, "For what?" so I said "She got me a ticket!!" and then I said "Also if you, um, see Patrice?" and he said "I will send him." The Noonster, aw.
Anyway, the hotel had a little bar attached to the side, and as the fans started clearing out I became aware that there was a raging cast party sort of thing going on inside said bar. Before long everyone had gone home for the night. I saw one girl waiting so I creeped over and struck up a conversation. She turned out to be a hardcore Mikele fan but it was her first time seeing the show and meeting the Troupe. I'm not entirely sure why she was waiting. I'm not entirely sure why *I* was waiting.
Cosplay Cassandre came out of the bar and asked us for a cigarette. She's the sort of fan who thinks of fan boundaries differently than I do, so the fact that she had dared to go into the bar where the Troupe was getting drunk shocked me. She said it was crazy, they were all dancing to Lady GaGa in there. I asked if Patrice was in there too and she said yes. I asked if she was SURE and she said yes. Meanwhile we could see the stairs in the hotel so we knew when members of the Troupe left the party and we never saw Patrice go by on those stairs. By the way, I don't know what you know about Cosplay Cassandre, but she isn't exactly noted for her honesty.
I continued to chat with the Mikele fan for ages. It was SO COLD OMG. Like, teeth-chattering and shivering cold. There was a little crowd of dancers and stuff smoking at the door of the bar, and suddenly, around 2:30am, Flo emerged from that crowd and came strolling up to the two of us. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and went "It's Erin, right?"
YES IT IS. Not Eh-hrheen, not Er-ron, but actual Erin. Not that I don't LOVE the other two pronunciations, obviously. I'm going to miss being Eh-hrheen next week when I'm home.
NEXT WEEK OH GOD MY SOUL JUST GOT NAUSEATED.
Anyway. So Flo was chatting with me. I was all YEP I AM ERIN and he asked the other girl her name. She answered, but then added in French that she doesn't speak any English. Flo looked at me all suspiciously again and went "Mais tu parles français?" and I went "Ouuuuiiii..." haha. And then some random people appeared out of the night and asked Flo for a picture. He said sure and then suddenly he grabbed my arm and went THIS IS AN AMERICAN FAN. and they were like Uhhhh okay... and Flo posed with them for their Floto.
The other girl was like My friends just texted me saying they dared to go into the bar!!! and I was like OMG I WOULD NEVER. She said ME NEITHER OH LAWD and I was like Also, who gives a crap about the interior of the bar THIS IS FLO and he's here to HANG WITH US. But she didn't care, she was a Mikele fangirl, and she went into the bar to find her friends and her fave, leaving me alone with Florent Mothe.
When the other fans cleared out Flo just decided to hang with me. And we chatted. Reposted from the Florum:
HE CAME OVER TO CHAT AND HE WAS ASKING ME ABOUT MY LIFE IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY PATRICE WAS DOING LAST WEEK (JEALOUSSS) AND HE PRONOUNCED MY HOMETOWN ALL FRENCH AND HE ASKED WHAT I WAS DOING AFTER I GET MY DIPLOMA AND HE WAS LIKE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE A TEACHER AND I WAS LIKE NO MY PARENTS ARE TEACHERS AND HE WAS LIKE MY MOM WAS A TEACHER AND WE WERE LIKE YEAHHH AND THEN HE ASKED IF NORTH CAROLINA WAS CLOSE TO CANADA AWWWWWW AND THEN I WAS LIKE I WANT TO MOVE TO NEW YORK AND HE WAS LIKE WHAT WILL YOU DO AND I WAS LIKE NOT STARVE AND HE WAS CONFUSED
WHAT
OMG THANK YOU FOR ABANDONING ME PATRICE
Anyway yeah that was the gist of our conversation. And he kind of wandered off so I was still there alone. I decided to text Jacinta (it came out like this: Omfg patrice wouldnt come out to hang w me but flo did! Wtf omg nfreaking out and mikele in a sombrero) but while I was in the middle of typing I heard "ERIN!!" I literally jumped in surprise and my head snapped up. Flo was leaning against the building, wearing a backwards baseball cap, bellowing my name. He pointed to the doors of the bar and said "Go. Inside." I was like Noooo nooo I am a fan and you are the Troupe and I dare not profane your bar with my presence nooooo. And I finished my text and sent it and then I heard "ERIN!!!!!" and again it was Flo shouting at me. OMG WHAT. He said "Go inside! It's. COLD." So I took one reluctant step forward and Florent Mothe marched over and put a hand at my back and grabbed my arm with his other hand and he literally dragged me up to the bar. Meanwhile my brain was spluttering out in a fit of IS THIS THE REAL LIFE IS IT JUST FANTASY and Florent Mothe pulled me through the crowd of smoking dancers and said in French Did you guys know we have an American fan??? and I heard Nuno's voice answer "Yes! Er-ron!" from the back of the group. Then Florent Mothe pushed me through the doors of the bar and said "Now. Do you see anyone you know?" I glanced around in a panic and I recognised a fan named Marie, so I pointed and was like HER. And so Flo pushed me again and went "Vas-y!" and just like that, I was invited to the cast party. I wasn't a creepy fan who had dared to just go inside, no. Florent Mothe, the famous-est and talented-est one in the Troupe, ORDERED me to go inside. He DRAGGED me inside.
It was awesome.
From the Florum:
AND THEN I WAS IN THE BAR FOR TWO HOURS AND EVERYONE WAS DANCING AND I SAW FLO DO THE YMCA AND MIKELE KEPT TRYING TO SEDUCE PEOPLE WITH HIS SOMBRERO AND HIS PIANO SKILLS AND MERWAN WAS TRYING TO CROWD SURF AND THERE WERE SILLY HATS EVERYWHERE
The dancers from MOR are really good at dancing UNTIL THEY GET SLOPPY DRUNK and then they're just a bunch of idiots in dumb hats and shades flailing around maniacally
WHATTTTTT
Everybody was tipsy at the very least, and I was sitting there trying not to look totally overwhelmed when Nuno came up and threw an arm around my waist and was like "Eh-ron, I am going to sleep. I--" and then he bisous'd me. And then Merwan came up to ask him for something and while continuing to cling to me Nuno pulled some kind of cord out of his guitar case with his free hand to pass off. And then Merwan went away and Nuno turned back around and was like "I am so tired, okay, so I am going to sleep." and then he bisous'd me again and went away. And I was like Um okay.
Did I mention Mikele danced to Le Freak?
And here are pictures from other peoples' facebooks:
I also saw Flo and Mikele pushing their lil faces together to try to take pictures of themselves being silly, Merwan completely lost his mind and was all over the dang place with his crazy dancing and his shades, and Mikele kind of creeped me out. He was selecting fans and leading them off to this piano, where he would sit them on the bench and play and gaze into their eyes. It was so odd. And later when he passed me he put a hand on my cheek and gazed at me with his glittery shark eyes and I was like Umm? And usually that's a weird moment between us anyway but this time he was drunk so it went on WAYYYYY too long. Jesus Mikele you are kinda terrifying sometimes.
By the way, mere words cannot express how cold I still was. I spent this whole time in the bar trying to stop feeling like I was on death's doorstep, but it was useless. Once Flo went to bed, around 5am, I dragged myself back to my hotel and buried myself under every available blanket, which was a lot of blankets, and still woke up several times during the night due to freezing.
The next morning I rolled out of bed and went off to the hotel door one last time, still not quite sure what had happened to me.
It was uneventful. Patrice blew me off again, just kind of waving when I called his name and then basically leaving at a run, and the only other person I had a moment with was the awesome dancer who played Rosenberg in Mozart Est Là:
She was such a sweetheart.
And then I went home.
The only thing left for me is Toulouse...