cross-posted
i'm cross-posting this with my myspace blog....cause i need help bad....
I'm tired and annoyed with hating myself. I continue to and don't know why. :: rolls eyes :: my mind still does things to me. It still thinks about death and other things. Its not a suicidal thing is just something weird i think i should have paid attention to a long time ago.now its just driving me insane. I love and enjoy life but for some reason my mind is always thinking about death. I have no idea as to why. I have always had this problem. I just never confronted it. Now....it won't go away. it used to just attack me from time to time and scare me. now its constant. I want it to stop. I do my best to distract my mind. It works till I'm not distracted, when I'm trying to relax.
I don't want tosit and spend my day keeping my mind thinking about random stuff, trust me it can get random. There's no one who can help. I've spoken with people nad found no answers. I'm just tired of it. Its been going on for two months. Maybe longer....don't remember. I've stayed up all night cause i'm watching tv shows i missed this week since i was working, got hurt, and have no tv at home til wens. I have work in like two hrs. I wish i went to bed because i wouldn't be worrying about my mind as much.
I need help and i don't know what to do. I just want it to stop. There's just no reason for me being this way. I'm happy and i love my life. It has its kinks, like ever life. Overall, things are going great but i still end up with this problem.
:: gets her cat and curls up with him ::
*to all my lj friends, sorry i don't keep up. i don't keep up withanything anymore. been moving into my own place and waiting for internet. i'm at my mom's atm.Miss ya'll. mean it!*
I'm tired and annoyed with hating myself. I continue to and don't know why. :: rolls eyes :: my mind still does things to me. It still thinks about death and other things. Its not a suicidal thing is just something weird i think i should have paid attention to a long time ago.now its just driving me insane. I love and enjoy life but for some reason my mind is always thinking about death. I have no idea as to why. I have always had this problem. I just never confronted it. Now....it won't go away. it used to just attack me from time to time and scare me. now its constant. I want it to stop. I do my best to distract my mind. It works till I'm not distracted, when I'm trying to relax.
I don't want tosit and spend my day keeping my mind thinking about random stuff, trust me it can get random. There's no one who can help. I've spoken with people nad found no answers. I'm just tired of it. Its been going on for two months. Maybe longer....don't remember. I've stayed up all night cause i'm watching tv shows i missed this week since i was working, got hurt, and have no tv at home til wens. I have work in like two hrs. I wish i went to bed because i wouldn't be worrying about my mind as much.
I need help and i don't know what to do. I just want it to stop. There's just no reason for me being this way. I'm happy and i love my life. It has its kinks, like ever life. Overall, things are going great but i still end up with this problem.
:: gets her cat and curls up with him ::
*to all my lj friends, sorry i don't keep up. i don't keep up withanything anymore. been moving into my own place and waiting for internet. i'm at my mom's atm.Miss ya'll. mean it!*