Picspam - Hey Arnold! - Arnold's Halloween (Part Two)
warning: this post is extremely image heavy (80+ caps).
We left off with Arnold wondering if their radio show actually managed to scare anybody. Part two picks up with Grandpa loading up the packard - ready to get the hell out of Hillwood. He almost tries to pack Arnold before catching himself.
Grandpa: "Oh, sorry Shortman. I thought you were a package. Now where have you two been? Can't you see that aliens are attacking and the city is in flames?!"
Gerald and Arnold explain that it was just them playing a prank.
Phil is still skeptical.
He gets the boys to basically give him a play-by-play of how they pulled it off.
The aliens were just Helga and the other kids.
And it was Gerald on the radio.
He asks them how they managed to get Douglas Cain in on it. I mean, that's a pretty elaborate Halloween joke right there. Very skillful.
This is where the shit hits the fans. Obviously, the boys have nothing to do with Douglas Cain.
Arnold asks a vital question.
Arnold: "Grandpa, what happened to Helga and the kids after you saw them?"
Ah. Of course. They were chased by an angry mob.
Gerald, Grandpa and Arnold:: "Fuck."
They pile into the Packard, ready to go save Helga and the others when a mysterious stranger runs out in front of them.
Phil is stunned by her beauty.
So gorgeous.
Grandpa: "Pookie, what are you doing? It's a bad night to be out!
Grandma: "Don't wait up."
Man, I would kill for Phil/Gertie fic. Just like... they're so hilarious and perfect for each other and I've always wondered about their story because they obviously had a big, epic love story.
The city is in full on crisis mode.
Bob and Miriam ignore it to finally have some ~sexy times~.
Lol jk.
Also this scene looks so tense. I mean, I guess it makes sense in context, but it just looks like... ridiculously serious for this episode. This is also Bob reacting to the news that beepers are jammed all over town. IT'S LIKE SOMEONE STOLE AWAY HIS ONE TRUE LOVE.
Miriam: "Bob, please. Can't we just enjoy the candlelight?"
On the one hand, I feel very strongly for Miriam and she totally breaks my heart. On the other hand, the city is seriously in full blown panic mode and she seems completely unconcerned. Like, she's not even a little worried about the fact that Helga's out in the middle of it all.
I mean. Bob's not worried about Helga either, but at least he's showing some sort of reaction to their current reality.
Bob: "You and me have had this day for a long time, baby."
Hot.
He at least cares enough to warn Miriam not to open the door for any aliens. :\
Meanwhile, Helga and the crew are having kind of a rough night. That angry mob from earlier has got them all backed into a corner.
She tries to reason with them and explain that they're just a bunch of kids.
Helga: "Get it through your thick head - we're just a bunch of fourth graders!"
She then goes to wipe her face paint off with her glove.
Oh fuck.
So the facepaint doesn't come off and the kids are back on the run.
Harold explains that he bought something called "permanent exterior latex" because he thought they'd be out all night. I actually wanna say it's not a terrible idea, but I also have to wonder if they even sell face paint that permanent. It comes off with water though soooo... IDK I don't think it was a bad plan. How was Harold supposed to know that Arnold was going to fuck them all over?
Arnold and Gerald try to shout to the crowds that it's all a big joke, but no one is listening. Meanwhile, Bob goes tearing through the city, driving on the sidewalks and murdering children for seemingly no reason.
Oh, I see. He's talking on his cell phone. THAT SHIT IS DANGEROUS YOU GUYS.
Bob and Harvey discuss the aliens. Bob's apparently formulated some sort of "KILL ALL ALIENS" scheme. He's already got Mr. Green in on it.
I think part of my dislike of this episode stems from the fact that I just really do not like or care about Douglas Cain at all.
The power going out means that people outside of Hillwood haven't had a chance to find out about any of this fuckery yet. BUT DOUGLAS CAIN WILL FIX THAT!
Bob: "Huh. Look at these pathetic losers. They don't stand a chance against the aliens."
HUMANITY'S HERO: BIG BOB PATAKI.
So Wartz is totally planning to betray his own kind and offer the aliens fanciful gifts and I guess become their lapdog or something. IDK.
I mean... he's wimpy about it, but honestly Wartz's strategy is actually the most logical one shown so far. So far the "aliens" have done nothing but run away screaming from the rest of humanity. MAYBE THEY ARE NON-VIOLENT?!?!?
I just think he looks dopey here. He also decides that if taken hostage he'll lead the aliens to the children. Which actually doesn't make any sense because I'm pretty sure if the aliens were real kids would NOT be going to school the next day.
So Bob and his crew roll up and are all: "Hey babydoll, whatchu got in those boxes, hmmm?"
And then they kidnap him.
And rummage through all his fancy gifts.
Bob knows exactly what Wartz is up to. WARTZ WAS GOING TO SURRENDER TO THE ALIENS OMG WHAT A MONSTER.
Lol, okay. I watch the episode as a I make commentary on each image and I saw this one before it actually got the point it starts in the episode and I was like: "HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHO'S DRIVING THE HUMMER?!?!?!" But IT'S OKAY - Bob stopped in the middle of the road in order to better shake down Principal Wartz (seriously though, Bob - why do you even care?)
Things are getting all hot and breathy in here.
Wartz has a change of heart.
Wartz: "Go humans go! Go humans go! Fight! Fight! Fight!"
Bob: "Oh, just sit down and shut up."
What up, Stinky?
So the alien crew decides that the best plan is to make their way up the ridge, coincidentally retreating to the "mothership".
The gang meets up with Stinky and explain their plight. Y'know. About how Halloween has been miserable and everyone thinks they're real aliens and basically they've been chased around by angry mobs all night.
Stinky wonders if perhaps his prank with Arnold and Gerald has anything to do with it. He mentions that it was all Arnold's idea.
Helga: "ARNOLD!!!"
Arnold: "Did you hear something just now, Gerald?"
Gerald: "No."
Lolololol, BEST RUNNING GAG.
Arnold wonders how the other kids are doing.
They're doing great, Arnold! Thanks for asking. :D :D :D
Helga rides Stinky the rest of the way up the hill (I AM NOT REPHRASING THAT SENTENCE).
Meanwhile, Bob checks out the sexy beast of a mothership. That's a sweet looking water tower.
Okay. I don't really get this plan at all. Bob has strung together like a billion beepers and wired them to an egg timer? And somehow crossing some wires will blow up the mothership? Beepers aren't mini-explosives, as far as I know so... what? WHAT.
Meanwhile Mr. Green and Principal Wartz get cozy.
So... Bob's gonna go to the top of the hill and at the first sign of aliens he'll wave and then Harvey will launch the beepers. I-is Bob suicidal? WHY DON'T THEY JUST BLOW UP THE MOTHERSHIP RIGHT NOW?!?!?!
Hello, Douglas Cain. You are still pretty much detestable and annoying.
Arnold takes off for the top of the ridge having spotted Helga and the gang.
HOLY SHIT ALIENS!
Why does Gerald look startled here? HE KNOWS THEY AREN'T REAL!
Helga is about to chase Stinky up the water tower in order to murder him, when Bob grabs ahold of her.
Okay, this has always bothered me. He's squeezing Helga's hair. She's not actually in much danger or really being hurt right now. I just feel like this scene could have been genuinely upsetting and even frightening if he was actually attacking a part of her that could be hurt.
Anyway, she tries to convince him that she's Helga.
HEY BOB YOU COULD HAVE AVOIDED ALL THIS GRIEF IF YOU'D JUST FUCKING TAKEN THIRTY SECONDS TO REALLY LOOK AT YOUR DAUGHTER'S COSTUME EARLIER.
:(
He thinks the aliens are messing with his brain. There's this sound like he's tightening his grip, but he's still just clutching her hair sack so I feel very little in the way of fear for Helga.
And D. Cain says that Bob's about to wring the alien's neck, BUT HE'S NOT. I have to wonder if it was originally planned for Bob to be holding Helga by her throat, but at some point they had to change it because they thought it would be too violent?
Arnold rushes to save Helga's hair-do.
Arnold: "Mr. Pataki fucking stop it dude. You're gonna mess up Helga's badass pigtails, which are so obviously hiding under that big ass head of hers."
SO DRAMATIC.
Bob starts flailing about like a mad man, causing his posse of dumbasses to launch the beeper bomb.
Is there an actual explosion? It mostly just seems like the bag of beepers broke through the side of the water tower.
HOLY SHIT WATER.
THEY'RE ALL GONNA DIE.
JK it just watches off their costumes.
Holy shit! It's Helga!
:O
Bob: "Helga, is that you? Is it really you, Helga?"
Helga: "Hello, it's been me the whole time, ya big goof!"
Bob: "Oh, holy cow. I almost killed my own daughter! I'm a monster!"
Okay, despite all the grief I've been giving this episode and it's sort of... not actually suspenseful or worrisome climax, this moment here is actually really sweet. Bob showing affection/attention to his daughter. He even gets her name right!
FUCK YEAH FATHERLY AFFECTION!
Lol, Helga's face in the background. Also Arnold managed to back away from that whole scene pretty quickly. He didn't even get wet!
Pookie to the rescue!
Grandma: "Bingo."
All the lights come back on! THE CITY IS SAVED!
Also, how much do I love that in plots like these the main emotional conflict gets wrapped up, but then Grandma swoops in to fix the actual, much bigger physical problem? SO MUCH.
D. Cain: "As the whole, wild affair is exposed as a ridiculous hoax, I can assure you that Douglas Cain - "
Bob: "Is a big, pompous windbag."
Bob sums up all of the things I have been feeling about D. Cain this whole time.
They all head home together. Arnold promises to never pull a prank like that again, but Phil tells him that basically his prank was awesome shit. He caused a city-wide blackout! He threw an entire community into panic! TEN THOUSAND POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!
And Pookie wishes us all one final:
"HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!"
a/n: I hope you enjoyed it! I soooo didn't feel like doing commentary for this part, but I pushed through it. I just have so many weird issues with the logic of this episode. There's so many random coincidences and people making stupid decisions for seemingly no reason (WHY DO THEY BOTHER BRINGING WARTZ WITH THEM IF THEY'RE JUST GOING TO TIE HIM UP?). It's also not very scary for a Halloween episode.
As always, you may use any images in this post in any way you see fit!