The Comte de Broglie to the Candidates
Dear candidates,
What an amazing week full of revelations! I knew that asking you to uncover hidden truths about your fellow candidates would bring out the best in this country’s aristocracy. Remember that, whatever my weekly requests, I am always interested by such information. Let us review the various claims made this week.
The Baron d’Osny seems to have been misled in his appreciation of the Vicomtesse de Marsan's linguistic skills. While a “crumpet” does indeed sound like a dreadful attack to our noble French palate, domine salvum fac regem was stolen from us by the rosbifs as the Vicomte de Savettier mentioned and the Vicomtesse can rightfully participate in the fight to reclaim it. Or more than misled, the Baron d’Osny may have been trying to divert our collective attention from his counter-nature trysts with treacherous Britons. On that note, let me congratulate the Vicomtesse de Marsan on her meticulousness, she packaged the handkerchief so well it still contained what I assume to be dried bodily fluids. Sleeping with the enemy is indeed a threat to the kingdom’s safety, and the Baron will not be considered for membership in the secret. Should he wish to partially clean his honor by providing us with additional information in the coming weeks, he is more than welcome to do so.
Maritime intrigues of the d’Osny kind seem to have confused Father Philippe-Louis de Bourbon-Conti. This will not be an issue anymore as he will join our Holy Father Pope Clement XIII in the Vatican. The Vicomte de Savettier was well informed and we should soon call Philippe-Louis “Monsignor de Bourbon-Conti”. The Vicomtesse de Marsan’s fears are unfounded as the Duchesse de Saint-Fargeau's pecuniary power vastly surpasses that of the Cardinal Le Camus (His Eminence has a some debts with the King’s treasury and we’ll make sure he reimburses them before trying any sort of ecclesiastical promotion for his bastard). As the Holy See requires full-time attention and loyalty, Father-Louis will not be considered for membership in the secret, though we will still enjoy his correspondence, should he find the time.
I am deeply saddened by the Duchess de Saint-Fargeau’s revelations on the Vicomte de Savettier. Leaving one’s health in the hands of miscreants like Huguenots is surely a liability we cannot afford in the secret. What if they used potions and filters to cloud your keen intellect, or blackmail you with indispensable medicines? These are the people who burned Joan of Arc after all. Silvestre-Jean de Savettier will not be part of this service but can for now still partake in our correspondence from his bed.
As a side note, it seems that the Baron de Vergy misaddressed this week’s missive. His revelations, while very interesting, will thus be ignored this week as other candidates may not have had the means of verifying their authenticity. He is more than welcome to try again.
Based on your contributions, I had d’Enfou arrested by a lettre de cachet from His Majesty. Swiss guards were sent to his house and found him in the company of his stable boy in a position that the presence of Ladies amongst us prevents me from describing further. He is now sequestered in the Bastille and will remain there until we find the English actress.
Finally, some of you may have heard about the commotion caused in some Parisian circles by the arrival of one Comte de Cagliostro. My transalpine informers seem to have heard of the man as actually a commoner by the name of Joseph Balsamo. While this would not be the first case of cross-border noble impersonation I have come across during my career in contre-espionnage, the credit that this Cagliostro has acquired among some court members is impressive. Members of the prestigious Rohan line confirmed me that he was able to produce diamonds out of thin air, and to create gold as well. If this man is a charlatan, he shall be punished, but if he is truly gifted, we should promptly put his skills to the King’s service. Of course, he could be neither but just the agent of foreign power who came up with a particularly creative cover. Please let me know your findings by next week.
I remain,
Charles-Francois, Comte de Broglie
What an amazing week full of revelations! I knew that asking you to uncover hidden truths about your fellow candidates would bring out the best in this country’s aristocracy. Remember that, whatever my weekly requests, I am always interested by such information. Let us review the various claims made this week.
The Baron d’Osny seems to have been misled in his appreciation of the Vicomtesse de Marsan's linguistic skills. While a “crumpet” does indeed sound like a dreadful attack to our noble French palate, domine salvum fac regem was stolen from us by the rosbifs as the Vicomte de Savettier mentioned and the Vicomtesse can rightfully participate in the fight to reclaim it. Or more than misled, the Baron d’Osny may have been trying to divert our collective attention from his counter-nature trysts with treacherous Britons. On that note, let me congratulate the Vicomtesse de Marsan on her meticulousness, she packaged the handkerchief so well it still contained what I assume to be dried bodily fluids. Sleeping with the enemy is indeed a threat to the kingdom’s safety, and the Baron will not be considered for membership in the secret. Should he wish to partially clean his honor by providing us with additional information in the coming weeks, he is more than welcome to do so.
Maritime intrigues of the d’Osny kind seem to have confused Father Philippe-Louis de Bourbon-Conti. This will not be an issue anymore as he will join our Holy Father Pope Clement XIII in the Vatican. The Vicomte de Savettier was well informed and we should soon call Philippe-Louis “Monsignor de Bourbon-Conti”. The Vicomtesse de Marsan’s fears are unfounded as the Duchesse de Saint-Fargeau's pecuniary power vastly surpasses that of the Cardinal Le Camus (His Eminence has a some debts with the King’s treasury and we’ll make sure he reimburses them before trying any sort of ecclesiastical promotion for his bastard). As the Holy See requires full-time attention and loyalty, Father-Louis will not be considered for membership in the secret, though we will still enjoy his correspondence, should he find the time.
I am deeply saddened by the Duchess de Saint-Fargeau’s revelations on the Vicomte de Savettier. Leaving one’s health in the hands of miscreants like Huguenots is surely a liability we cannot afford in the secret. What if they used potions and filters to cloud your keen intellect, or blackmail you with indispensable medicines? These are the people who burned Joan of Arc after all. Silvestre-Jean de Savettier will not be part of this service but can for now still partake in our correspondence from his bed.
As a side note, it seems that the Baron de Vergy misaddressed this week’s missive. His revelations, while very interesting, will thus be ignored this week as other candidates may not have had the means of verifying their authenticity. He is more than welcome to try again.
Based on your contributions, I had d’Enfou arrested by a lettre de cachet from His Majesty. Swiss guards were sent to his house and found him in the company of his stable boy in a position that the presence of Ladies amongst us prevents me from describing further. He is now sequestered in the Bastille and will remain there until we find the English actress.
Finally, some of you may have heard about the commotion caused in some Parisian circles by the arrival of one Comte de Cagliostro. My transalpine informers seem to have heard of the man as actually a commoner by the name of Joseph Balsamo. While this would not be the first case of cross-border noble impersonation I have come across during my career in contre-espionnage, the credit that this Cagliostro has acquired among some court members is impressive. Members of the prestigious Rohan line confirmed me that he was able to produce diamonds out of thin air, and to create gold as well. If this man is a charlatan, he shall be punished, but if he is truly gifted, we should promptly put his skills to the King’s service. Of course, he could be neither but just the agent of foreign power who came up with a particularly creative cover. Please let me know your findings by next week.
I remain,
Charles-Francois, Comte de Broglie