incredibly bored right now
All my friend's lives are going to shit or getting there. Really wish I could share some of their pain. It's really not fair what they have to go thru. All I have to deal with is strict parents. And that doesn't compare to what my friends have gone thru or what they are going thru. I've been sober for a while now and I guess there has been a big change. I'm nicer and I have more control over my life. I'm quitting smoking also. Seems I don't do anything except for see the 3 people in my life. Nesha, Keekee, and Darius. Nesha's at her dad's right now, so I don't know when I'll see her. Keekee's out of town with her brother and girlfriend. And Darius is totally free today. Doesn't work or anything. But i'm not gonna see him today. I'm spending time with family. They keep saying i've been too busy for them. True. I guess all I've cared about recently are those 3 people. I need to spend more time with friends. Who knows what is going on wiht Diann right now. Wonder if she's back from Junie's. I haven't seen Amanda in what seems like a year. I saw Ashley yesterday and I saw Amber not too long ago. I haven't really made time for my gay guys but family is 1st I guess. School needs to start. I just want to graduate and get it over with and move in with Nesha. But it seems like i'm growing up too fast. It's soo lame but I'm scared of the responsibilities and new things that are going to come up once school is over. Something's wrong with me. I eat all the damn time, my stomach always hurts like I haven't eaten, and I'm a month late. The doctor feels like I'm lying and not really eating even though I haven't lost weight or anything. Weird. She doesn't know what she's talking about. And about me being late, she feels I am stressed out. Lady, please. I have no worries in my life right now. None whatsoever. I'm so bored. The baby's asleep and I'm waiting for my parents to come home so that we can do something together and I'm waiting for Keekee to call me. She won't be here until the afternoon and it's so pathetic. I miss her so much. Who knew I'd end up liking her when those were not my intentions at all? She was so cute and sweet with the baby a couple of days ago. She'd make a good 2nd mom for my baby brother. I've never seen a side so soft and sweet. I didn't know she had it in her. It just makes me sad that the baby put that smile on her lips and brought out her sweet soft side by just being in her arms and giggling. I need to get a grip on things. I was never supposed to start falling for her and she's got me thinking about her all the damned time. I just want to be in her arms and have her kiss me with those big lips of hers. Damn I miss her. God I miss her kisses and her hugs.