i look hot. but dont feel so...
me: I want to hurt myself.
mom: *laughs* oh nina, your just having a bad week.
...Its not like I actually mean it. I've thought about it. But I have never really done anything, because I couldn't ever do it. I wouldn't ever really want to anyway.
I wouldn't be able to take the blood dripping down my wrist like a faucet and holding my cold, weak body on the tiled floor, weaping to myself. Knowing I had broken an article of my confederation. "Do not harm onceself, or others, negativally, or physically." It's just something I would never ever do. It is horrible. And my mind knows that, and always has it in the back of its brain.
It's just too wrong. And I know it is. I just don't know when people are taking me seriously. I really do feel like shit. And its not because of anyone, or any particular situation. Its just my brain, my inner feelings.
The reason I am feeling so blue, and down in the dumps is because one year ago (for some of you who dont know,) I was diagnosed with temporary depression. Luckily I don't have it anymore, and got help, while in the process of all that, switched schools, fought off the depression, dealt with my social life, and numerous family problems.
So this is about the excact time I went through all that. Thus making it the anniversary of everything I struggled through to get where I am today. As odd as it sounds, my brain is sending me body messages that don't make sence, and aren't really clear, and what I actually should be thinking right now, aren't always there. Some of the things I might have thought last year, did and or didn't do, and here right now, I just need your support, advice, love, attention. Not pity and apolagies, as much as that might seem right, It's not right for me right now. Listening, pacience, and time is what I need.
I won't be like this forever, its just been a long year, and this is the reunion of it. So I am having reacurring pain from it all.
mom: *laughs* oh nina, your just having a bad week.
...Its not like I actually mean it. I've thought about it. But I have never really done anything, because I couldn't ever do it. I wouldn't ever really want to anyway.
I wouldn't be able to take the blood dripping down my wrist like a faucet and holding my cold, weak body on the tiled floor, weaping to myself. Knowing I had broken an article of my confederation. "Do not harm onceself, or others, negativally, or physically." It's just something I would never ever do. It is horrible. And my mind knows that, and always has it in the back of its brain.
It's just too wrong. And I know it is. I just don't know when people are taking me seriously. I really do feel like shit. And its not because of anyone, or any particular situation. Its just my brain, my inner feelings.
The reason I am feeling so blue, and down in the dumps is because one year ago (for some of you who dont know,) I was diagnosed with temporary depression. Luckily I don't have it anymore, and got help, while in the process of all that, switched schools, fought off the depression, dealt with my social life, and numerous family problems.
So this is about the excact time I went through all that. Thus making it the anniversary of everything I struggled through to get where I am today. As odd as it sounds, my brain is sending me body messages that don't make sence, and aren't really clear, and what I actually should be thinking right now, aren't always there. Some of the things I might have thought last year, did and or didn't do, and here right now, I just need your support, advice, love, attention. Not pity and apolagies, as much as that might seem right, It's not right for me right now. Listening, pacience, and time is what I need.
I won't be like this forever, its just been a long year, and this is the reunion of it. So I am having reacurring pain from it all.