well oh well
My initial thought today was happiness and snuggling. I had to take a florida teachers exam. I've passed all 5 or 6 so far but received a NP today. I went into the exam thinking.."I Think, therefore I am." Well apparently not. I took a personality quiz online as I do once ever 6 months and it said I was an ESTJ. Which means:
The Guardian
As an ESTJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.
ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs. They expect the same of others, and have no patience or understanding of individuals who do not value these systems. They value competence and efficiency, and like to see quick results for their efforts.
ESTJs are take-charge people. They have such a clear vision of the way that things should be, that they naturally step into leadership roles. They are self-confident and aggressive. They are extremely talented at devising systems and plans for action, and at being able to see what steps need to be taken to complete a specific task. They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards. But at least their expressions can be taken at face-value, because the ESTJ is extremely straight-forward and honest.
The ESTJ is usually a model citizen, and pillar of the community. He or she takes their commitments seriously, and follows their own standards of "good citizenship" to the letter. ESTJ enjoys interacting with people, and likes to have fun. ESTJs can be very boisterous and fun at social events, especially activities which are focused on the family, community, or work.
The ESTJ needs to watch out for the tendency to be too rigid, and to become overly detail-oriented. Since they put a lot of weight in their own beliefs, it's important that they remember to value other people's input and opinions. If they neglect their Feeling side, they may have a problem with fulfilling other's needs for intimacy, and may unknowingly hurt people's feelings by applying logic and reason to situations which demand more emotional sensitivity.
When bogged down by stress, an ESTJ often feels isolated from others. They feel as if they are misunderstood and undervalued, and that their efforts are taken for granted. Although normally the ESTJ is very verbal and doesn't have any problem expressing themself, when under stress they have a hard time putting their feelings into words and communicating them to others.
ESTJs value security and social order above all else, and feel obligated to do all that they can to enhance and promote these goals. They will mow the lawn, vote, join the PTA, attend home owners association meetings, and generally do anything that they can to promote personal and social security.
The ESTJ puts forth a lot of effort in almost everything that they do. They will do everything that they think should be done in their job, marriage, and community with a good amount of energy. He or she is conscientious, practical, realistic, and dependable. While the ESTJ will dutifully do everything that is important to work towards a particular cause or goal, they might not naturally see or value the importance of goals which are outside of their practical scope. However, if the ESTJ is able to see the relevance of such goals to practical concerns, you can bet that they'll put every effort into understanding them and incorporating them into their quest for clarity and security.
Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Extraverted Thinking
Auxiliary: Introverted Sensing
Tertiary: Extraverted Intuition
Inferior: Introverted Feeling
Whatever the above means. I have been painting a lot in acrylic, water color, all types of media materials, writting poems, songs, playing guitar...and overwhelmed by the last 9 weeks of school. There are sooooo many assignments it's unbelievable. My boyfriend has a good head on his shoulders and supports my ups and downs. He's so creative and musical. I've been playing harmonica and listening to a lot of folk music lately. He's good to me and sometimes I forget I need to be sweet and good back to him.
For me it's hard to remember the past is the past. He loves me and only me. Maybe I need some therapy.
Well today after not passing the exam I was so mad..I had to wait a few hours for my lover to pick me up. I was just so irritated by life. I wanted a cig b/c I failed. I've never done poorly on anything to this point. I talked to this black lady sitting across from me for a lil while while blowing off steam next to a fountain wih benches. I've been trying to talk to people a lot lately..just learning about their stories or what they might have to share..it's a gift to be able to talk to anyone, get them out of their shell.
I overheard her talkin bout the beach on the phone with someone..then she got off the phone. She said, 'Nice weather isn't it?' I chatted a bit about my wanting to go to the beach..then asked her if she was a teacher at USF. She said she worked in administration. SILENCE> I asked, "If you could teach anything what would it be? Other than common sense(which made her laugh)" 'I'd teach people to love themselves.' The response was touching and sweet. Something I've been realizing I need to be working on in my own life lately. "I'm sure we could have a discussion about that process..but what do you think the first step would be?" 'I think when you're young you need to learn that before you know about the bad things in the world.'
Ahhhh..I'm so glad I observed my dads interactions with common and everyday people growing up. I am becoming quite comfortable chattin and hearing things that most people might miss by b/c they are too caught up in their own lives.
Of course I was depressed about the test results but I'll retake it soon..I didn't study -whateva. So I had to wait a couple hours for lover to get me. I decided to walk to the main road(sorta) where he would drive by and sit in the shade. Ants kept biting my ass....then I saw a mama duck sitting in a tree. There was an egg hatched (I could see a lil yolk still in the egg). The duck made me aware that it was her nest. I investigated a little and she opened her bill warning me to keep my distance. She was sitting on her babies who had to have been only about a week old. God was distracting me from my personal sorrows. I wish I had a camera so much to capture the beauty!!! I got out my hermonica, having time to waste I decided to play. Mama duck kept her eye on me. I started to play. Soon the little ducklings and their little yellow heads started popping up underneath her. They seemed to enjoy the tune. Ahh sweet moment.
When I was picked up I showed LOver my discovery and we saw all these baby ducklings under mama in her soft down feather nest(so cute). He bought me a book about polaroid transfers which is a medium I've wanted to learn more about. How thoughtful! I love him so much.
It has now been 6 months since we've been together and gave him a promise ring I got in Ireland for the man I knew I was supposed to marry. The night of our 6 month anniversarry we stayed in a hotel and I cried as I gave it to him. I told him to wear it when he was ready. The next day I picked out a pretty ring at a cool hippie cafe called the Purple Moon.
SO much to say but really..I just wanted to unload a bit. Life is sweet...I'm alive..life is short and those are the things I need to remember.
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control...I strive for those fruits through Gods grace.
Ginga
The Guardian
As an ESTJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.
ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs. They expect the same of others, and have no patience or understanding of individuals who do not value these systems. They value competence and efficiency, and like to see quick results for their efforts.
ESTJs are take-charge people. They have such a clear vision of the way that things should be, that they naturally step into leadership roles. They are self-confident and aggressive. They are extremely talented at devising systems and plans for action, and at being able to see what steps need to be taken to complete a specific task. They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards. But at least their expressions can be taken at face-value, because the ESTJ is extremely straight-forward and honest.
The ESTJ is usually a model citizen, and pillar of the community. He or she takes their commitments seriously, and follows their own standards of "good citizenship" to the letter. ESTJ enjoys interacting with people, and likes to have fun. ESTJs can be very boisterous and fun at social events, especially activities which are focused on the family, community, or work.
The ESTJ needs to watch out for the tendency to be too rigid, and to become overly detail-oriented. Since they put a lot of weight in their own beliefs, it's important that they remember to value other people's input and opinions. If they neglect their Feeling side, they may have a problem with fulfilling other's needs for intimacy, and may unknowingly hurt people's feelings by applying logic and reason to situations which demand more emotional sensitivity.
When bogged down by stress, an ESTJ often feels isolated from others. They feel as if they are misunderstood and undervalued, and that their efforts are taken for granted. Although normally the ESTJ is very verbal and doesn't have any problem expressing themself, when under stress they have a hard time putting their feelings into words and communicating them to others.
ESTJs value security and social order above all else, and feel obligated to do all that they can to enhance and promote these goals. They will mow the lawn, vote, join the PTA, attend home owners association meetings, and generally do anything that they can to promote personal and social security.
The ESTJ puts forth a lot of effort in almost everything that they do. They will do everything that they think should be done in their job, marriage, and community with a good amount of energy. He or she is conscientious, practical, realistic, and dependable. While the ESTJ will dutifully do everything that is important to work towards a particular cause or goal, they might not naturally see or value the importance of goals which are outside of their practical scope. However, if the ESTJ is able to see the relevance of such goals to practical concerns, you can bet that they'll put every effort into understanding them and incorporating them into their quest for clarity and security.
Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Extraverted Thinking
Auxiliary: Introverted Sensing
Tertiary: Extraverted Intuition
Inferior: Introverted Feeling
Whatever the above means. I have been painting a lot in acrylic, water color, all types of media materials, writting poems, songs, playing guitar...and overwhelmed by the last 9 weeks of school. There are sooooo many assignments it's unbelievable. My boyfriend has a good head on his shoulders and supports my ups and downs. He's so creative and musical. I've been playing harmonica and listening to a lot of folk music lately. He's good to me and sometimes I forget I need to be sweet and good back to him.
For me it's hard to remember the past is the past. He loves me and only me. Maybe I need some therapy.
Well today after not passing the exam I was so mad..I had to wait a few hours for my lover to pick me up. I was just so irritated by life. I wanted a cig b/c I failed. I've never done poorly on anything to this point. I talked to this black lady sitting across from me for a lil while while blowing off steam next to a fountain wih benches. I've been trying to talk to people a lot lately..just learning about their stories or what they might have to share..it's a gift to be able to talk to anyone, get them out of their shell.
I overheard her talkin bout the beach on the phone with someone..then she got off the phone. She said, 'Nice weather isn't it?' I chatted a bit about my wanting to go to the beach..then asked her if she was a teacher at USF. She said she worked in administration. SILENCE> I asked, "If you could teach anything what would it be? Other than common sense(which made her laugh)" 'I'd teach people to love themselves.' The response was touching and sweet. Something I've been realizing I need to be working on in my own life lately. "I'm sure we could have a discussion about that process..but what do you think the first step would be?" 'I think when you're young you need to learn that before you know about the bad things in the world.'
Ahhhh..I'm so glad I observed my dads interactions with common and everyday people growing up. I am becoming quite comfortable chattin and hearing things that most people might miss by b/c they are too caught up in their own lives.
Of course I was depressed about the test results but I'll retake it soon..I didn't study -whateva. So I had to wait a couple hours for lover to get me. I decided to walk to the main road(sorta) where he would drive by and sit in the shade. Ants kept biting my ass....then I saw a mama duck sitting in a tree. There was an egg hatched (I could see a lil yolk still in the egg). The duck made me aware that it was her nest. I investigated a little and she opened her bill warning me to keep my distance. She was sitting on her babies who had to have been only about a week old. God was distracting me from my personal sorrows. I wish I had a camera so much to capture the beauty!!! I got out my hermonica, having time to waste I decided to play. Mama duck kept her eye on me. I started to play. Soon the little ducklings and their little yellow heads started popping up underneath her. They seemed to enjoy the tune. Ahh sweet moment.
When I was picked up I showed LOver my discovery and we saw all these baby ducklings under mama in her soft down feather nest(so cute). He bought me a book about polaroid transfers which is a medium I've wanted to learn more about. How thoughtful! I love him so much.
It has now been 6 months since we've been together and gave him a promise ring I got in Ireland for the man I knew I was supposed to marry. The night of our 6 month anniversarry we stayed in a hotel and I cried as I gave it to him. I told him to wear it when he was ready. The next day I picked out a pretty ring at a cool hippie cafe called the Purple Moon.
SO much to say but really..I just wanted to unload a bit. Life is sweet...I'm alive..life is short and those are the things I need to remember.
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control...I strive for those fruits through Gods grace.
Ginga