Lord of the Eurekafly. Or something like that.
"I thought you had all the kinks worked out in this, Fargo."
"I did!"
"Apparently you didn't."
"I swear, sir. There is absolutely no reason this should have happened."
"And yet, Fargo, we are standing in the middle of a field, surrounded by orcs." Jack heaved a sigh and rested his hands on his hips. He was just stopping by Fargo's new lab to say hi [honestly more to Allison than Fargo] and hear about part of the new project. He did not plan on becoming part of it. And then Stark showed up and said they should all try it. Allison had politely declined but somehow Stark had got under his skin and then all three were hooked up.
"Now, now, Carter. You shouldn't be scared. I'm sure you've been in dozens of situations worse than this, a big bad marshall like yourself."
There it was, that damned patronizing tone. The two men were about to start a fistfight in the middle of a battlefield, but Fargo smartly stepped between them. "It's no worries, boss, sheriff. All I have to do is progress the story a bit and we'll just fastforward out of here."
Nathan stepped back, smirking. "It isn't as if we can get hurt here, anyway, Carter. Just cool your heels."
Fargo mumbled something indistinct.
Under his breath, Jack muttered, "I'll cool your heels, you--" He paused. He thought. He turned to Fargo. "What was that?"
"I just might have maybe said that we can completely interact with this 3d media imaging device as though it is entirely real because the interface is on a level that participates with our minds and...well..."
The sheriff looked from boss to lacky and back again. "What is he saying?"
"He is saying that even we know it is real, our brains don't and if we get hurt or killed here, something remarkably similar will happen to our bodies."
"Oh, jeeze, you've got to be kidding me. Didn't this happen in a movie once? Didn't you see the movie, Fargo? You've seen every movie. They're programmed into your damned machine. It's like the holodeck from hell!"
Nathan and Fargo looked at Jack.
"What? Come on, everyone watched Next Gen."
"That strange tidbit aside, Fargo, get us THE HELL OUT OF HERE. Those orcs are getting too close for comfort."
"Working on it sir." He fiddled with a small remote control and suddenly everything went static, jumped forward and back and forward again and they were surrounded by darkness. The orcs were still there. And now they had the men captured, with their hands tied in front of them.
"FARGO."
"I'm trying, I'm trying!"
"Now, Fargo."
"Who are you chaps?" came a small voice from behind them.
The three men simultaneously turned around two see two tiny men staring up at them. "...Fargo..."
"You never saw the movies? They're hobbits. They're Merry and Pippin." Fargo whispered. "Come on."
Jack took Fargo by the front of his shirt and eased him on to his tiptoes. "No, you come on Fargo. Get us the hell out of here before we're skewered by something that smells worse than you will in three months."
"Three months?"
"Think rotting corpse."
"Oh."
"Carter, please don't dent my assistant." Nathan stepped over as Fargo was released. "Now, Fargo. Do as the man says before I have you relocated to the flesh eating nanoid project. Without protective gear."
"Yessir."
Pippin and Merry watched on in silence. "I guess they're not going to be much help, are they?"
"Probably not, Pip. Let's just keep our eyes open."
With a subtle thwip, an arrow sped from the darkness and buried itself in the throat of the nearest orc. Several others fell with quiet gurgles before any other noticed. Quite suddenly, the world was filled with screaming and yelling. The hobbits, clearly paying more attention to their surroundings, tackled the men in an attempt to get them out of the way of an onslaught of men on horseback and panicked orcs.
Fargo pressed a button.
"Well that was unexpected." Said Pippin.
"I would say so." Replied Merry. "Where are we?"
Nathan eased himself off of a cold metal grating. "It looks like some kind of shipping vessel. Almost old fashioned, but I've never seen a design quite like this." He ran a hand over one of the riveted seams curiously.
Jack rose, ignoring the assistance offered by the hobbits who then turned to Fargo. "Where the hell are we, Fargo?"
"I'm going to guess Serenity."
"You must be using some strange definition of the word we are not yet acquainted with."
"No, sir. It's a spaceship from the show Firefly. This shouldn't be as dangerous--they're all good people."
"Define good, Fargo. This is definitely a bullet hole of some sort." Jack peered closely at the wall and turned. He was startled by a young lady emerging from a previously unnoticed room at the end of the hall. Involuntarily, he hollered. "Aah!"
Kaylee leapt back, screaming.
The hobbits screamed in reply.
Kaylee screamed again, but this time with a word. "CAPTAIN!"
From a side stairwell, Mal appeared like a juggernaut. "Who the hell are you and why are you on my ship?" Without waiting for a reply he tackled Carter who had instinctively gone for his gun. The two men began an undignified scrap. Nathan laughed.
"I think I do like this place more."
"You're about to like it a whole lot less." Zoe nudged her gun into Stark's back. Wash stepped behind Fargo and prodded him threateningly in the back with his fingers.
"Yeah." he growled.
Inara and Book joined the throng, Kaylee standing with them. "What is going on here?"
"We're in the middle of space, how'd they get here?"
"Is everyone okay--oh dear."
Jack took advantage of Mal's split second of distraction and flipped him, kneeling on his back. "That wasn't very nice."
Zoe pushed Nathan a little harder. "Let him up."
"He won't care." Nathan said, putting his arms down indifferently. He straightened his jacket.
"I don't care."
The standoff froze. Merry and Pippin's stomach's growled.
"Is there any time for some tea and cake? Maaaaaaybeeeee...soooooooommmme...aaaaaaaalllle?" Pippin's voice slowed and all of the fictional characters around them stopped moving and faded away. The ship faded away shortly afterwards.
All three men opened their eyes, back in Fargo's lab. Allison was smiling and holding Fargo's PDA.
"What took you so long?" Jack demanded, standing and tenderly searching out new-forming bruises from his fight.
"It was entertaining."