Conflicting views, they are recurring…
I think there is a war going on in my mind. My brain cells are divided on a certain issue and are prepared to defend their opinion on it to the death. There are bombs going off, rifles being fired, and military vehicles leaving those ugly tire tracks all over my brain. Though, none of it really hurts per se, it is all just very troubling and confusing. One side keeps pushing me forward, telling me to just let it all out, assuring me that all will end well and it is one of the things I’ve been searching for in life. The other side keeps pulling me back, reminding me of the past and how everything could go wrong once again, swearing that nothing is for the worse if I keep my mouth shut….sure, there isn’t anything to be gained that way, but nothing will be lost either.
Lots of casualties on either side and there looks to be no end in sight, because I keep stammering with a decision. Meanwhile, my IQ keeps dropping because of all the brain cell loss.
I hate this feeling of hopelessness in either direction…too bad I am so familiar with it.
(Yes, I usually get a bit cryptic when talking about things that are affecting me mentally, because although I want it to be known that something is eating away at my brain, I don’t quite want anyone but myself to know what exactly is doing the eating)
Lots of casualties on either side and there looks to be no end in sight, because I keep stammering with a decision. Meanwhile, my IQ keeps dropping because of all the brain cell loss.
I hate this feeling of hopelessness in either direction…too bad I am so familiar with it.
(Yes, I usually get a bit cryptic when talking about things that are affecting me mentally, because although I want it to be known that something is eating away at my brain, I don’t quite want anyone but myself to know what exactly is doing the eating)