No, it did not go well.
So I am basically back at square one and even more agitated with the whole situation than I was in the first place.
Why does it always have to be about money? Always money. And we can't afford shit. I sometimes wish I would have been born into a family where there was money, so at least I didn't have to be told I'm supposed to depend on a damned state scholarship that only works in THIS state.
I am SO fucking sick of money dominating my life and what I can and cannot do.
TOPS, TOPS, TOPS!
That was her response about the whole thing as I predicted it would be. Money. Money money money.
I HATE MONEY.
And this is how it happened. I cooked dinner. She finally got home. We sat down and ate and then I started the talk about all this. She let me ramble on and on about all the thoughts I have had in my head. And she then proceeded to basically shoot me down.
She said that while it might seem like a better choice to me, I had to consider the broader picture. As if I haven't? This has plagued my mind for weeks on end, as many of you know. TOPS is a state scholarship that only works in the state of Louisiana. I worked my whole school career to have the grades and scores to get it, yes. I am proud of myself for that, yes. But all I feel like I am doing at the university is spinning my wheels and taking classes to take up space just because the state requires by law you must have so many credit hours in certain areas and blah blah blah blah. The whole idea of a liberal arts school like UNO is for people who don't know or are not sure what they want to do. But there are schools out there like Gibbs whose course layout deals DIRECTLY with your major. Just like the school in Florida. I don't need bullshit waste my time math I will NEVER again use in my life if I'm going to work as a zoologist or in a field with digital media communications. Or both. And I certainly don't need it holding me back because I'd get stuck in a remedial math class because I am so stupid with that ONE subject alone!!! I want both, and by damned if I am going to let anyone tell me no.
Now I have tried very hard to find schools here locally. Hell, when I came out of highschool there was some big talk about a braaaand new building or something and braaaand new equipment that was being financed by the Navy and everything. It was supposed to be the technology center of the Southeast or some crap. I was SO happy when I heard that. I figured it would most certainly have exactly what I was looking for. And then when I went to try and find out about it elsewhere and asked others? No one knew a damned thing about it and looked at me like I was crazy.
So mother's reaction was basically: I just can't tell you to go ahead and go. I can't watch you throw away the TOPS.
Granted it is basically like a free ride, and I understand where she is coming from totally. I WANT to find something locally that offers as good a program or close to what Gibbs offers. But as of yet, that hasn't happened. And believe me I have looked.
I'm going to keep looking. And if anyone else feels the itch to look for things too, maybe you'd have better luck than I have. Maybe I'm just not holding my mouth right. But remember. It HAS to be in Louisiana. ::Snarl::
I'm not going to give up though. Maybe now that it's out on the table she'll do some serious thinking. I will NOT let it rest. I am going to keep on her about it.
This is MY future. There IS financial aid out there even if I were to go out of state. I would really rather AVOID loans, at all costs, but there are grants and other things out there I can apply for. I just need to find the damned things and apply like crazy. The bottom line is, TOPS isn't everything. It might be a nice ride in this state, but there's other things out there.
So off I go to gnash my teeth some more and try and figure out just what the hell I am going to do.
Why does it always have to be about money? Always money. And we can't afford shit. I sometimes wish I would have been born into a family where there was money, so at least I didn't have to be told I'm supposed to depend on a damned state scholarship that only works in THIS state.
I am SO fucking sick of money dominating my life and what I can and cannot do.
TOPS, TOPS, TOPS!
That was her response about the whole thing as I predicted it would be. Money. Money money money.
I HATE MONEY.
And this is how it happened. I cooked dinner. She finally got home. We sat down and ate and then I started the talk about all this. She let me ramble on and on about all the thoughts I have had in my head. And she then proceeded to basically shoot me down.
She said that while it might seem like a better choice to me, I had to consider the broader picture. As if I haven't? This has plagued my mind for weeks on end, as many of you know. TOPS is a state scholarship that only works in the state of Louisiana. I worked my whole school career to have the grades and scores to get it, yes. I am proud of myself for that, yes. But all I feel like I am doing at the university is spinning my wheels and taking classes to take up space just because the state requires by law you must have so many credit hours in certain areas and blah blah blah blah. The whole idea of a liberal arts school like UNO is for people who don't know or are not sure what they want to do. But there are schools out there like Gibbs whose course layout deals DIRECTLY with your major. Just like the school in Florida. I don't need bullshit waste my time math I will NEVER again use in my life if I'm going to work as a zoologist or in a field with digital media communications. Or both. And I certainly don't need it holding me back because I'd get stuck in a remedial math class because I am so stupid with that ONE subject alone!!! I want both, and by damned if I am going to let anyone tell me no.
Now I have tried very hard to find schools here locally. Hell, when I came out of highschool there was some big talk about a braaaand new building or something and braaaand new equipment that was being financed by the Navy and everything. It was supposed to be the technology center of the Southeast or some crap. I was SO happy when I heard that. I figured it would most certainly have exactly what I was looking for. And then when I went to try and find out about it elsewhere and asked others? No one knew a damned thing about it and looked at me like I was crazy.
So mother's reaction was basically: I just can't tell you to go ahead and go. I can't watch you throw away the TOPS.
Granted it is basically like a free ride, and I understand where she is coming from totally. I WANT to find something locally that offers as good a program or close to what Gibbs offers. But as of yet, that hasn't happened. And believe me I have looked.
I'm going to keep looking. And if anyone else feels the itch to look for things too, maybe you'd have better luck than I have. Maybe I'm just not holding my mouth right. But remember. It HAS to be in Louisiana. ::Snarl::
I'm not going to give up though. Maybe now that it's out on the table she'll do some serious thinking. I will NOT let it rest. I am going to keep on her about it.
This is MY future. There IS financial aid out there even if I were to go out of state. I would really rather AVOID loans, at all costs, but there are grants and other things out there I can apply for. I just need to find the damned things and apply like crazy. The bottom line is, TOPS isn't everything. It might be a nice ride in this state, but there's other things out there.
So off I go to gnash my teeth some more and try and figure out just what the hell I am going to do.