Lots and lots and lots of thinking.
And lots and lots of stressful worries that just won't go away. I've had so damned much on my mind as of late, and the more I worry about it, the sicker I feel deep inside.
What am I worried over? Everything. Mainly college. Now, there's a little story behind all of this. Some of you know it, some of you don't. So for those of you who don't, I shall elaborate a little on what happened.
Everything started senior year. I was in home school the better part of that year because between knee surgery, being very sick, and just a lot of other emotional stuff that was going on, I basically had something akin to a nervous breakdown. Thankfully I did have people who were understanding and who cared.
Anyway, so I graduated with my class. Yaay. I didn't want to dive right in to college, because basically I wasn't totally sure where I wanted to go, or what I wanted to do. That and the fact that I felt very pressured.
The more I look at it now, I feel like I was pressured to do things that everyone else wanted me to do. Not what I had an interest in doing. Here's where things get fun. See, there's this little bane of existence known as money. Money is something we sorely lack. Money was not offered to me in the wonderful forms of multiple scholarships that some people got.
At any rate, I had my sites long set on a few different choices. My interests and loves are VERY extensive, and I hate the idea of just choosing and doing one thing. So I chose the two top priorities:
*Working with animals in some field of Zoology, etc.
*Digital Media. Web Design and beyond. Computer stuff.
Sadly, there aren't any colleges local enough that provided anything really worthwhile and affordable in the zoology part. And when I sent out the search, neither was there for the digital media.
To make a long story short, my high school councilor and mother and I got together one day to discuss things. Recently my mate had gotten into a college based in Manhattan that had some potential for my own interests. Then there was UNO or Southeastern. Of course there was also LSU if I had interest in the whole veterinary thing... but LSU and Loyola both are very costly. And not too close.
There's this thing here in Louisiana called TOPS. It's basically a state scholarship/financial aid deal. Supposedly, as I was told, it wouldn't transfer to just anywhere. And though I had said how much I think it would be nice to go to Gibbs in NY, my mother and councilor seemed to think otherwise. So due to TOPs and pressuring, I finally decided to sign up for UNO.
Don't get me wrong. UNO has a nice campus, and I met some great people there. Students and teachers alike, who I will remember for the rest of my life. But... after being there... and going in listed as a Biology Major... and seeing all of the ridiculous math requirements... I then decided to switch to Liberal Arts, Undecided. Well, by the time this first round there has ended... it's becoming more and more clear that there really isn't anything there for me.
If you could just take any classes that you wanted to, that would relate to your specific interests and your own chosen career path, it would be one thing. But it doesn't work that way. So basically I took four classes (since I had to drop the math) that amounted to 3 credits each.
I feel like I'm just rambling now. My mind is so tussled about all of this, that I just don't know what to do anymore.
I guess what I am trying to get at is this: I don't honestly think UNO is going to take me where I need to be.
Now, back when I was pressured into this (for various reasons including money) they knew I wasn't too sure about it. But I did it anyway. And I distinctly remember them telling me something along the lines of "Go a year, if you decide it isn't what you want, you can always transfer" blah blah blah.
So I am holding firm to that. So what are my options as it stands? First of all, I want to send out another BIG thank you to riksbaby for all of the information she sent me.
That information was about a zoology school located in Florida. The Santa Fe Community College offers a Zoo Animal Technology Program, and that's one big consideration right now.
The other, more likely consideration is to go to New York and attend the same school that my mate has. Katharine Gibbs School is it. Basically, I'd be going in under the Digital Media Communications programs. Mike did the Computer Network Operations, and that is also a consideration. So between these choices, the benefits go something like this.... It's an 18 month course. I would walk away with an Associates Degree and between 90-95 credits. They offer job placement for graduating students.
So what's bugging me most? Doing either one of these things would involve moving. At least for a little while. Which is the more promising? New York, obviously.
The concerns I have sort of line up as followed:
Mother
Money
I have yet to talk with my mother about this yet because I am afraid she will react in a negative way. Money is another issue. She certainly can't pay for the full course requirements being a single parent, and I'm not totally certain financial aid will cover everything. That means taking out loans. Something I really want to avoid at all costs.
Another thing I am worried about is the whole difference in prices for residence, vs being an out of state student. Granted I have been back and forth to New York so many times and stayed there so long at points over the past four years, it's like a second home to me. But it doesn't matter what I think. State laws and other crap matter to make it legal.
So how on earth do I become a legal resident? Could I already be considered one? I know people who have lived between states in this same fashion before. But I don't know any who have ever been pressed with the aspect of it happening while they were trying to attend college.
So any helpful feedback would be greatly appreciated. I'm just so stressed over this whole situation, that I could seriously use some advice.
And some funding. Meh. But that's another story.
What am I worried over? Everything. Mainly college. Now, there's a little story behind all of this. Some of you know it, some of you don't. So for those of you who don't, I shall elaborate a little on what happened.
Everything started senior year. I was in home school the better part of that year because between knee surgery, being very sick, and just a lot of other emotional stuff that was going on, I basically had something akin to a nervous breakdown. Thankfully I did have people who were understanding and who cared.
Anyway, so I graduated with my class. Yaay. I didn't want to dive right in to college, because basically I wasn't totally sure where I wanted to go, or what I wanted to do. That and the fact that I felt very pressured.
The more I look at it now, I feel like I was pressured to do things that everyone else wanted me to do. Not what I had an interest in doing. Here's where things get fun. See, there's this little bane of existence known as money. Money is something we sorely lack. Money was not offered to me in the wonderful forms of multiple scholarships that some people got.
At any rate, I had my sites long set on a few different choices. My interests and loves are VERY extensive, and I hate the idea of just choosing and doing one thing. So I chose the two top priorities:
*Working with animals in some field of Zoology, etc.
*Digital Media. Web Design and beyond. Computer stuff.
Sadly, there aren't any colleges local enough that provided anything really worthwhile and affordable in the zoology part. And when I sent out the search, neither was there for the digital media.
To make a long story short, my high school councilor and mother and I got together one day to discuss things. Recently my mate had gotten into a college based in Manhattan that had some potential for my own interests. Then there was UNO or Southeastern. Of course there was also LSU if I had interest in the whole veterinary thing... but LSU and Loyola both are very costly. And not too close.
There's this thing here in Louisiana called TOPS. It's basically a state scholarship/financial aid deal. Supposedly, as I was told, it wouldn't transfer to just anywhere. And though I had said how much I think it would be nice to go to Gibbs in NY, my mother and councilor seemed to think otherwise. So due to TOPs and pressuring, I finally decided to sign up for UNO.
Don't get me wrong. UNO has a nice campus, and I met some great people there. Students and teachers alike, who I will remember for the rest of my life. But... after being there... and going in listed as a Biology Major... and seeing all of the ridiculous math requirements... I then decided to switch to Liberal Arts, Undecided. Well, by the time this first round there has ended... it's becoming more and more clear that there really isn't anything there for me.
If you could just take any classes that you wanted to, that would relate to your specific interests and your own chosen career path, it would be one thing. But it doesn't work that way. So basically I took four classes (since I had to drop the math) that amounted to 3 credits each.
I feel like I'm just rambling now. My mind is so tussled about all of this, that I just don't know what to do anymore.
I guess what I am trying to get at is this: I don't honestly think UNO is going to take me where I need to be.
Now, back when I was pressured into this (for various reasons including money) they knew I wasn't too sure about it. But I did it anyway. And I distinctly remember them telling me something along the lines of "Go a year, if you decide it isn't what you want, you can always transfer" blah blah blah.
So I am holding firm to that. So what are my options as it stands? First of all, I want to send out another BIG thank you to riksbaby for all of the information she sent me.
That information was about a zoology school located in Florida. The Santa Fe Community College offers a Zoo Animal Technology Program, and that's one big consideration right now.
The other, more likely consideration is to go to New York and attend the same school that my mate has. Katharine Gibbs School is it. Basically, I'd be going in under the Digital Media Communications programs. Mike did the Computer Network Operations, and that is also a consideration. So between these choices, the benefits go something like this.... It's an 18 month course. I would walk away with an Associates Degree and between 90-95 credits. They offer job placement for graduating students.
So what's bugging me most? Doing either one of these things would involve moving. At least for a little while. Which is the more promising? New York, obviously.
The concerns I have sort of line up as followed:
Mother
Money
I have yet to talk with my mother about this yet because I am afraid she will react in a negative way. Money is another issue. She certainly can't pay for the full course requirements being a single parent, and I'm not totally certain financial aid will cover everything. That means taking out loans. Something I really want to avoid at all costs.
Another thing I am worried about is the whole difference in prices for residence, vs being an out of state student. Granted I have been back and forth to New York so many times and stayed there so long at points over the past four years, it's like a second home to me. But it doesn't matter what I think. State laws and other crap matter to make it legal.
So how on earth do I become a legal resident? Could I already be considered one? I know people who have lived between states in this same fashion before. But I don't know any who have ever been pressed with the aspect of it happening while they were trying to attend college.
So any helpful feedback would be greatly appreciated. I'm just so stressed over this whole situation, that I could seriously use some advice.
And some funding. Meh. But that's another story.