blah
My first journal entry...and I dont even know what to write. My life is anything but the "drama of the century", nothing that is all too exciting, but I am a teenager so I suppose that anything I come up against will seem like the hardest obstacle in my life. Right now however, i am struggling to find clarity in a subject that most people....well, maybe mostly girls.....have issues with, boys. Your first love is always your hardest to get over, though i dont know whether this particular one was my first love, he remains to be in my thoughts constantly. Even though hes made it clear that he doesnt feel the same way about me. I am always confused, upset, angry, nervous and happy all the time. I feel like theres nothing I can do to make things "better" or...basically, the way i want them. Unfortunately there is a chance that said person may read this entry and be upset by the things i'm saying. Not because he just doesnt like me anymore, but because he doesnt like seeing me when i'm upset. Truth is, hes been a sweetheart through all of this, very understanding and actually, hoping for a long time friendship. Anyways, Most of this stuff I'm telling the world has either been locked to only some of the ppl i trust or inside my own head. Other than thinking about all of this, I've gotten a job and babtsat my little brother...watched movies and gone out with friends...everything i should be doing, i suppose. I've missed my best friend terribly, shes been away forever so i've been limited on who i can actually talk to, on top of that, one of my good guy friends has been in trouble and therefore doesnt have his cell anymore, so i cant talk to him...I'm not even all that distressed about it all i am just confused, its all so weird. Right now I feel like i'm in a weird dream world, not good but not bad either...just watching. I guess thats why i'm talking like an old lady...that pretty much sums up what i'm feeling for the day. haha, most of this coming from the fact that i saw him today for the first time in almost 2 months...yeah. well, bye i guess