Six Hours Of Sleep
What is it about love?
What is it about being sick to your stomach?
What is it about having your blood pressure drop and having your heart sink into your gut?
Or then having your heart get trapped in your throat?
What is it about love?
Why is love totally illogical?
Why can love be completely wrong?
Why can't love do what I want?
Why can't I control it?
Sexual attraction is easy to reign in. After all, I have an extremely broad taste in women. I have a wandering eye, I know that, but definitely not a wandering heart. I guard myself because I'm so afraid, deeply deeply terrified, of being hurt. Even now, there is really only one person I can really open up my heart to and be honest to. And for the longest time, she was the only one who knew the whole truth about Creo.
You know, I have this tremendous inferiority complex. I try to be my best and to prove to others that I am knowledgable, strong, funny, and popular, all because I feel so tremendously unlikeable. It's like a needle in my head, and I keep trying to prove myself to others, when I really shouldn't.
Which leads back to love. I don't deserve it, but I feel this tremendous outpouring of it.
And it drives me insane.