[fic] the song remains the same [29/30]
Title: The Song Remains the Same
Rating: M
Spoilers: 8x13
Summary: I had a dream. Crazy dream. Ellis Grey is alive and well. Seattle Grace is the premiere hospital in the country. Callie Torres is married to Owen Hunt, with a home and three children, while Arizona Robbins does who and whatever she pleases. The history is different, the world itself has changed, but the song remains the same.
*If/Then* Calzona - Picking up where 8x13 ended
*****
Callie always took a moment alone after surgery, regardless of the outcome, but she took two before she went to face the Robbins. Taking an extra minute to let her hair down, Callie breathed deep. It had been a long procedure. Arizona had left the gallery early on and Teddy had been called away by her own surgery. She'd seen the best part though.
“Do you want to go talk to the family, or should I?” Cristina asked, businesslike as usual.
Callie could see the exhilaration a surgery like that gave her student. Cristina was likely still so hyped that it had slipped her mind that their patient was like family to her own girlfriend. “I'll do it. You can come if you want.”
Cristina's phone rang even as Callie spoke and she eyed her boss. “Actually...”
“Go ahead,” Callie told her with a nod. “I'll take care of talking to the family. You can handle whatever that is.” Cristina was scrubbed out and at the door when she spoke again. “Yang.” The other woman paused in the doorway. “Very good work today.”
Left alone, Callie sighed and squared her shoulders. Time to go have a difficult conversation.
The elevator down to the second floor was empty but the waiting room was not, heads popping up all over the room as families waited for news of their loved ones. The Colonel spotted her first, rising to his feet. Callie was surprised to notice her own father sitting in the chair beside him. Her sons were sitting on either side of Barbara Robbins. And Allegra was overseeing everything from Arizona's lap, her partner apparently dozing. Her lips quirked when Allegra whispered to her, though.
“Mommy!” Blue eyes popped open at Angus' greeting but Arizona couldn't stand up with Allegra balanced on her knees.
“Hey, guys,” Callie answered him. “I didn't know you were here.”
“They insisted on seeing Arizona,” Carlos said as he rose to his feet, greeting his daughter with a light kiss on the cheek. They hadn't sat through the entire surgery, but had pleaded to come back after finding out that everyone was still waiting at the hospital. “And we're going to let tu madre talk to Arizona and her parents, right?” he reminded the kids pointedly.
Callie backed her father up with an arched eyebrow and a quietly cleared throat and the boys dutifully slid off their chairs. Allegra followed only after she squeezed Arizona in a tight hug, whispering to her before she let go.
“Should we sit?” Callie asked as the kids left and even as Arizona got to her feet. The Colonel was still standing but Barbara gestured for Callie to take the seat beside her.
Following her professional instincts she kept standing but stepped in closer. “Nick's alive.”
Barbara sucked in a relieved breath but Arizona and the Colonel were both still holding theirs, waiting for the rest of the pronouncement. “But his heart is weak. We got the tumor but his heart is compromised.” Barbara gasped again, reaching for her husband's hand. Arizona's jaw went tight, her eyes distant. “We've already started the search for a donor -”
“How long does he have?” asked Daniel, his voice hoarse.
Callie tore her eyes unwillingly from Arizona’s expression to meet his eyes. “Weeks. But he's -”
“Weeks? Weeks?!”
“Dad,” Arizona interjected before he could really get going. “How high up the list is he?”
“He's near the top,” answered Callie, tone soft, trying to keep them both calm. Nick's situation was bad, but it wasn't hopeless, not yet, and he needed to get that sense from his family. He wouldn't be able to get it from her. “He's going to be tired, need medication, and a lot of rest.”
“He's got to stay in the hospital?” Barbara asked, sighing when Callie nodded.
“But you can all visit whenever you want, you can stay with him, and we'll keep him comfortable.”
“He's dying? Keep him comfortable is what you say when someone is dying -” the Colonel questioned, finally sinking weakly into the chair beside his wife.
Arizona kept her feet but swayed. Callie was there immediately, supporting arms wrapping around her. “I'm so sorry,” Callie whispered. Shaking her head, Arizona’s fingers tightened on the arm at her waist. She couldn't speak though, her throat tight.
“If you want to sit with him until he wakes up he'll in the ICU for about an hour but then we'll have him back in his room,” Callie told them, quietly relieved when Arizona leaned into her side.
“We can -?” Barbara started to speak but her voice quavered too much to get it all out.
“You can go there and wait,” Callie confirmed with a nod, keeping her tone soft. Arizona's head burrowed into her shoulder, her partner's breath fast against her neck. Callie tightened her hold on her, tugging her closer. “You'll be there when he wakes up.” She suspected that the Robbins could use a moment alone and she didn't want to intrude on however they processed the new information she'd given them.
Daniel helped his wife to her feet, leading her toward the elevator and privacy. Arizona didn't move but to turn her body completely into Callie's. “We did everyth-”
“Shh,” Arizona hushed her. “Just stay.” One of Callie's hands moved to hold the back of her head, fingers combing into her hair comfortingly. Her next breath was shaky. “What do I need to know about the surgery?”
Callie sighed, rolling silky strands of fair hair between her fingers. “He's alive. That's all that matters. We got the tumor and he's alive.” She felt Arizona take the breath to argue that her friend was still dying and cut her off, “He's got a chance. That's what you've got to focus on. You know that.”
“That's what we tell our patients,” Arizona reminded her. Both hands found the sides of Callie's lab coat and gripped tight to the fabric.
“Because it's true.” Callie hugged her closer. “He's going to need you. You can do this.” Arizona leaned back after a moment. Callie's hand found her cheek, thumb circling the place where her dimple appeared. “Nick's strong. If he wasn't he wouldn't have made it through today.”
Arizona had been avoiding framing the thought directly - that Nick wouldn't survive this operation, wouldn't make it through the day - but it shot through her mind and she felt weak suddenly. She didn't realize she'd wavered until Callie's arms were around her again, keeping her steady. “Can we go somewhere? Somewhere else?”
Keeping one arm around her back Callie led her toward the elevators and the nearest on-call room without speaking. The first room they opened was thankfully empty and Arizona immediately started pacing the small space. Sensing she needed silence more than any pressure to talk Callie took a seat on the edge of the low bed, content to wait for Arizona to speak.
“I've already lost one brother, Calliope.” The name sent a warm rush down her back to roll pleasantly in her stomach. It was rare that Arizona used her full name and it only occurred when they were alone. The pleased flutter inside didn't mesh with the situation and Callie squashed the incongruous happiness. “Nick got me through Tim dying.” It wasn't about having someone to get her through Nick dying - she knew Callie wasn't going anywhere. Nick had been her rock and now he was crumbling. “I'm not sure I can do that for him.”
“I know you can,” Callie stated immediately, her voice calm. “You've been my rock since - forever.” Blue eyes rolled, a familiar patient smile appearing on Arizona's mouth. “Long before I kissed you,” Callie clarified. Their gazes met and she leaned back on her hands. “Nick loves you and he trusts you just like you trust him and love him. He doesn't need any more from you than that.”
Arizona swallowed hard, nodding. Her nerves were obvious but she rubbed her hands down either leg and breathed deep. “Okay. L-”
“You come here,” Callie directed her gently, leaning forward to take Arizona's hand and pulling her toward the bed. “Just for a second. Take a minute. Nick's not going anywhere.”
Instead of sitting down beside her like Callie expected Arizona dropped to sit in her lap, guiding both of her hands to her own sides. “If we're taking a minute then I need you to hold me,” she declared, clearing her throat when her voice came out hoarse.
“I've got you,” promised Callie softly, her head leaning back so she could look up at her partner. “Nick -”
“Let's not talk about Nick right now.” Arizona had a feeling that he wouldn't be far from her mind, however things progressed, and she just wanted to take Callie's advice and have one minute where she wasn't worried about Nick. “How are you? That was a long surgery.”
There was something about the way Callie's mouth pulled but she mustered a smile. “It was long. And I'm tired.”
Arizona brushed a thumb across her girlfriend's brow lightly. “You could go home, you know? Your dad could probably use a break from the kids.”
“He'll be fine,” Callie denied simply, dragging her own hands up and down Arizona's back.
“You did your job. Nick's alive. Go home and get some rest,” Arizona suggested. Callie's mouth pulled again and she sighed. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” said Callie, shaking her head. “Just a long day.”
Leaning in, Arizona pecked her cheek lightly, dropping two more light kisses along her jaw before catching her lips for a brief moment. “Go home,” she repeated. “The kids went out for lunch but they've been here all day otherwise. Take them home, get a good dinner in them, and I'll come home as soon as I can.”
“You're not going to stay the night?”
Arizona made a show of wrinkling her nose as she pretended to think it over. “Sleep in an uncomfortable chair here and listen to Nick snoring, or go to bed with the gorgeous genius surgeon who saved his life?”
Something flickered in Callie's eyes but she maintained a smile. “Well, when you put it like that...” She craned up for another soft kiss. “We'll save you some dinner,” she said, making it a statement rather than a suggestion. Her hands made gentle circles on the tops of Arizona’s thighs. “Are you ready?”
There was nothing to be gained by delay and Arizona nodded. “Walk me to his room?”
“Of course.”
Neither spoke as they walked the halls toward Nick's room, their hands linked between them. Arizona's parents were sitting together when they entered but no one was speaking, just silently waiting. They took up positions just inside the room, leaning against the window. Their fingers stayed laced, Arizona grateful for the circling of Callie's thumb on the back of her hand.
A soft knock on the door came too soon to be Nick's bed and Callie leaned around the door to see her father with the kids. “Still waiting? That's fine, but I was going to take the kids -”
“I'm coming,” Callie interjected wearily. “If you'll take them home, Dad, I'll be there once Nick wakes up.” She hadn't intended to spend the whole weekend of her father's visit in the hospital but nothing about their parents' arrival had been exactly planned. “Yang and Altman are both working tonight, so they'll call me if they need me.” Even speaking lowly, it felt too loud, intrusive, and she edged into the hall.
Arizona followed her without disengaging their hands. She still needed the small circles of Callie's thumb on her hand. She was engulfed in hugs as soon as she was in the hall, thin arms wrapped around her legs and waist. “Hey, guys. You three aren't bored of this place yet?”
Their faces said clearly that they were, but none of them said anything. “When are you and Mommy coming home?” Angus asked instead, his chin on her thigh as he stared straight up at her, his grip tight around her leg.
The two women exchanged glances. “I'll be home soon, but Arizona's going to stay and see Nick for a while. You three might be in bed, so say goodnight now, alright?”
Arizona knelt to receive the much needed affection, closing her eyes as she soaked in the love from each of them. Callie couldn't look away for a long moment, grateful every day for how the kids loved Arizona, how Arizona loved them back. When she glanced up she caught her father's gaze.
Carlos tilted his head to the side and Callie stepped sideways to join him. “Thanks for everything, Dad-”
“What you've done here, what you're doing here, it's remarkable. I've never lost my spouse, obviously, but going through something like this, I'm glad you don't have to do it alone.” Callie's next breath was choked and she turned to look at Arizona speaking to the kids again. “Your Arizona is quite the amazing woman.”
Her father's arm slipped across her shoulders and Callie spun to wrap him in a tight hug. “Thank you, Daddy,” she whispered in his ear.
“No more amazing then you, though, mija,” he whispered back, making her smile. “I love you.”
“Te amo,” echoed Callie, leaning her head against her father's shoulder.
“I'm cooking tonight. What would you like?” There was no arguing with that tone in his voice, soft but with an undercurrent of steel.
Too tired to think of anything, Callie turned her head toward the rest of her family. “Gang, what do you want for dinner? Papi is cooking.” Arizona chimed in on the chorus of answers and Callie smiled as their eyes met.
Arizona's opinion swung Angus' vote, unsurprisingly, and Carlos said, “I think I can handle that. Is there gas for the grill?”
Callie nodded, pushing herself upright. “There should be. Thank you.”
“Nietos, with me,” he declared, smiling when Callie extended a hand to help Arizona back to her feet. “We'll see you at home later.” He kissed Callie's cheek and gave Arizona a genuine smile.
Giving her father's back a confused glance as he led the kids away, Callie sighed as Arizona leaned into her side. “You talked to him today?”
“He was great,” Arizona told her, both arms wrapping around her. “Didn't say much, actually, but he stuck with us all day.” Callie's arm curled over her shoulder. “I think my dad said something to him.”
“Oh, so you get the speech thing from your dad?” Callie asked, smiling against blonde hair.
Arizona smiled but it faded slowly. “I did talk to Allegra today.” The pause was heavy, loaded, and Callie held her breath. “About Owen.”
Callie could feel her eyes burning with tears she couldn't let escape, throat thick with emotion. “I'll talk to her. Thanks for the heads up.” She sighed heavily but she didn’t close her eyes. If she shut her lids the tears would break free.
“Callie...” Arizona breathed deep. “If you need to talk -”
“You've got enough going on,” said Callie.
“We worry about each other though,” Arizona reminded her. “We're a team, right? A family? So I'm going to worry about Nick, and Allegra, and you. Just like you're going to worry about Allegra, and Nick, and me. Right? So you don't get to tell me that I can't worry about you or the kids. You just can't tell me that, Calliope. I love you, and I love those kids.”
The way Arizona only noticed after she'd said all of that that she'd used the word family made Callie fall even more in love with her. Her smile grew even as her partner's blue eyes widened. “No, you're right. That's how this works.” She turned to face her, both hands holding Arizona's face. “I love you. The kids love you.”
“Dr. Torres.” Her name made Callie turn to see Nick's bed arriving. Arizona took her hand again and squeezed down hard. “He's been stable, so -”
“That's fine,” Callie told the intern pushing the bed. “Right in there.”
Arizona's breathing was faster than normal and Callie faced her again as the bed passed by them into the room where the Robbins were waiting. “If you go now you can catch up to your dad,” she noted, her voice high.
“I'm not going yet,” Callie denied her gently. “I'm going to answer whatever questions your parents have, and explain how things are going to go for the next day or so.”
“I can do that.”
A smooth eyebrow arched and Callie shook her head primly. “Nope. You're the patient's family. I'm the doctor here.”
The Colonel was the one who asked the questions, Barbara checking over the sleeping Nick. He kept his head though, businesslike and orderly with his queries. Callie left them only a few minutes after Nick woke up, driving home in the dark after Arizona promised to be home soon.
The front windows of her house were lit up and glowing across the lawn when she pulled up in the driveway. When she cracked her car door open Callie could hear music from her backyard, her sons laughing. It was a familiar scene, or it had been, once upon a time. But she knew that when she went around the house that it wouldn't be Owen at the grill while Allegra ran circles around his feet and laughed her head off the whole time. Everything was different now. Tonight when she went into her back yard it would be her father at the grill, not her husband. Because Owen was dead.
Callie stopped with one leg out of the car, left foot dragging the concrete of her driveway. But she couldn't move. The truth struck her again, as if it were fresh. Owen Hunt was dead. She couldn't save him. Nick was going to make it through the day though, because of her.
Leaning back against the headrest, she let the tears come, choking back the sounds of her own sobs.
[part 30 here]