[fic] the song remains the same [19/?]
Title: The Song Remains the Same
Rating: M
Spoilers: 8x13
Summary: I had a dream. Crazy dream. Ellis Grey is alive and well. Seattle Grace is the premiere hospital in the country. Callie Torres is married to Owen Hunt, with a home and three children, while Arizona Robbins does who and whatever she pleases. The history is different, the world itself has changed, but the song remains the same.
*If/Then* Calzona - Picking up where 8x13 ended
*****
Callie straightened her lab coat for what felt like the hundredth time while she waited on the elevator to arrive. Teddy was around somewhere, but had graciously decided to be elsewhere for this. They'd arrived back in Seattle late the night before, deciding together not to keep Owen's coma going medically. His stats weren't improving and if he was going to wake up he'd have to do it himself. They'd sat on either side of his bed all night with no change. He wasn't waking up.
The sun had risen and Callie had been forced to face the knowledge that she had to let her children know what was happening. Once the elevator doors opened her whole world was going to change.
Arizona met her eyes the second the doors parted, her expression sober. Gus was in her right arm, sitting on her hip, Gavin and Allegra talking over each other as they argued about something undoubtedly world ending to them. If only they knew what was really happening. Spotting her, Angus was immediately squirming to get free. “Mommy!”
Arizona handed him over willingly, standing silently as all three children clamored at Callie, all hugging her at whatever spots they could reach. Unconsciously Arizona's arms wrapped around herself, needing a hug herself knowing what was coming. Callie knelt to their level and waited patiently for the eager chatter to die down. “Hey guys,” she greeted them, taking a shaky breath. “I missed you too. You had a good time with Arizona, though, right? And you all behaved?”
There was a jumbled round of agreements from all three kids, Allegra looking over her shoulder for confirmation from Arizona. “They did,” she murmured, a small, sad smile on her lips.
Callie swallowed hard, eyes locking on Arizona’s again. There was nothing to be gained from dragging this out. Her gaze dropped to each of her children. “I have something I need to tell you three,” she started. Arizona moved to take a step back, distancing herself from this intensely personal family moment. “Wait,” Callie whispered, stopping her in her tracks. “Daddy's sick, guys.” Three little eyes went wide. “There was an accident with the plane he was on and it crashed.” She thought she was going to choke but forced herself to keep going. “People were hurt but your daddy worked really hard to keep everybody safe.”
Tears were already welling in Allegra's eyes. “Is Daddy gonna be okay?”
“Daddy's heart got hurt while they were in the woods waiting for someone to find them. He's sleeping until his heart gets better.”
“You fix it,” Angus requested, shattering Callie's heart in her chest.
“I wish I could,” she sighed. “Daddy's friend Teddy is a heart surgeon too and she's been helping me.” She blinked, scared of the tears she could feel burning behind her eyes. “I know he wants to see you though,” she told them. “Do you guys want to see him?”
She stood up as she got somber nods in answer, her own heart aching and breaking in her chest. Her boys looked like their father. The children followed suit, Arizona surprised when Gavin took her hand to bring her along. Teddy was in the room when they arrived, her eyes quickly taking in the scene and backing off from her bedside vigil. She and Callie exchanged nods, the taller surgeon giving Arizona a shadow of a smile in greeting.
Gavin released Arizona to move forward with his siblings, leaving Teddy and Arizona by the door as silent observers, affected but not involved. They had their own personal connections to the situation - Teddy with Owen, Arizona with Callie and the kids - but they couldn't be here for this.
Callie helped the kids climb onto Owen's bed without disturbing any of his monitors, and was only a step behind them out the door. “You guys don't have to go.”
“Yes, we do,” Teddy said with a nod, a sad smile. “They need you.”
“Thank you,” sighed Callie, gratefully squeezing her arm. “I'll call you later when you can have the room back.”
Arizona managed a smile as Teddy turned to go. “Nice to meet you, finally.”
“You too,” said Teddy, nodding again. “I've heard great things. I'm sorry about the circumstances we're meeting under.” She took another glance into the patient room. “I'll see you both later.”
Arizona waited another second but moved to follow her. “Please stay,” Callie breathed.
“I can't,” Arizona whispered, one hand cupping her face softly. “This is for them and you. I'll be here after. For anything you need,” she promised. “But they need you right now, not me.” She leaned in to press a gentle kiss to Callie's cheek, able to feel her breathing against her ear. “I need to go see Alex but I'll come back later.”
Everything Arizona was saying was the truth but Callie still couldn't imagine letting her walk away and handling this herself. That was exactly what she had to do though. “I love you.”
“I love you,” Arizona echoed. “I'm so sorry.”
Callie let her go after a hug that wasn't nearly long enough, returning to her ex-husband's bedside. Allegra was on her knees on the bed by Owen's shoulder, leaning over to kiss him gently. She sat back up, clearly waiting for something. “Sweetheart,” Callie started.
“It's gonna work. Just wait,” she said without taking her eyes off Owen's face.
“What's going to work, baby?” asked Callie, her heart aching again. How could she do this? How could anyone do this and survive?
“In the stories when the princess is asleep, the prince kisses her and she wakes up. I'm Daddy's princess,” she explained, her focus unwavering.
Callie couldn't stop her tears, emotion choking her and stealing her breath. She turned from the scene to try and regain control before it left her entirely, both hands covering her face. Allegra would be crushed when she didn't get her fairytale miracle. Owen's stats had been falling and his medical wishes didn't have a lot of stipulations for life sustaining care. He had no desire to be on life support. If he didn't start recovering on his own there was nothing she could do for him.
When she turned back to them the boys had flanked their sister, Gavin resting a hand on her shoulder. Her children were strong. She could at least be as strong. Moving forward she wrapped both arms around her babies. She took a seat on the edge of the bed and pulled them into her lap, her side. She could only close her eyes and wait for a miracle she knew wasn't coming. When Allegra started to realize that her kiss wasn't going to wake her father Callie was her refuge, burying her face in her mother's shoulder and letting herself be rocked.
One floor above them Alex Karev was waking up to be greeted by Arizona. “Hey boss,” he grunted, pushing himself up against the angled back of the bed with both hands.
“Alex,” Arizona whispered, her throat dry. “How are you feeling?” His eyes hadn't opened fully yet. He didn't know that his left leg now ended at mid-thigh.
“Like a plane crashed and ripped my leg apart,” he said gruffly, coughing. Arizona sat up to hold a cup of water for him. One hand reached toward the bedside table for his glasses and pushed them on. Her face was close when he saw the truth of his situation, his groan of recognition making it impossible for Arizona to resist hugging him. They weren't personal usually, not in Ellis Grey's hospital, but years of working together had forged an understanding between them. They both knew it was there even if they didn't often acknowledge it. He let her hug him now though. “Or ripped it off, I guess.”
It wasn't funny and she didn't laugh. “We'll get you a prosthetic.” Arizona leaned back to look at his face. He was staring in horrified fascination at the empty place under the blanket where his left knee should have been.
“I guess you can consult your list of people who want my spot in the program,” he countered, reaching out to pull the sheets back. The athletic shorts from his locker covered the new scar, the edge of the fabric falling flat over his shortened limb.
Arizona blinked to stop herself from staring, looking determinately at his face. “That's not going to happen,” she stated flatly. “You're my guy, Karev.”
“Don't let Torres hear you say that,” he joked, though his tone was dull.
“Hey! You're my guy,” Arizona repeated herself, stern now. “Do you think I've put years into training you just to let you walk away now?”
They each realized her choice of words at the same moment, Arizona holding her breath while she waited for a reaction from him. Gruff laughter wasn't what she expected but Alex laughed, leaning over and losing his breath as he couldn't stop the unexpected mirth.
“Karev, I'm sorry.”
He regained control slowly shaking his head as he stopped the laughter. “I guess I should have put your name on those medical forms.” His smile faded, expression growing morose. “Maybe I'd still have a leg. What happened in Boise? Did Torres tell you?”
Arizona hesitated, licking her lips. She nodded slowly. She couldn't lie to him about this. “You crashed. The infection was too bad, was spreading too fast. Callie got your rhythm back but Ellis made the call.” She took a breath while he processed that information. “She did the surgery herself.”
“Who'd have thought I'd warrant such a treat,” Alex scoffed, sarcastic and bitter.
“Alex...” There was no tone of warning in her tone, just resignation. “I looked at your chart, at the scans of your leg.” His eyes met hers, his jaw tight. “It was a mess.”
“I was going to lose it one way or another,” he guessed.
Arizona sighed heavily. “Maybe not but saving it would have been complicated, and dangerous, and if it'd worked it probably would have hurt like a motherfucker for the rest of your life.”
He managed a half smile, pushing his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose with one finger. “Torres lets you talk like that around her kids?” She answered him with a small shadow of her own smile. “I guess I owe her a thank you for getting me back.” He sighed, remembering that he wasn't the only one who'd been hurt. “How's Torres doing? I heard Hunt was worse off than me.”
“His heart is failing,” Arizona told him gruffly. “His friend Teddy is Cardio and she's been working with Callie but they've got nothing until his stats improve.”
Alex sat up straighter in bed. “You should be with her,” he said. “I'll be fine,” he continued before the protest was out of her mouth. “She needs you.”
She could have challenged him, that he needed her as well, but she knew him better than that. He would need time to process his loss, figure out on his own how he was going to deal with this. There was nothing she could do for him right now. “I'll come back.”
“I'll see you tomorrow,” Alex clarified, resuming staring at his missing leg.
Arizona stood up but hesitated in the doorway, leaning against the jamb with one shoulder. “I'll bring you some case files. I can't have you going flabby on me in here.”
His smile was forced. “Thanks, boss.”
Arizona left him alone to return to Callie, taking a minute in the elevator for herself. It was hard, feeling so powerless to help people she cared about. It wasn't a feeling she was accustomed to, being a surgeon. She found solutions to problems, fixed people. But she couldn't give Alex his leg back, couldn't make Owen's heart strong again. She just had to stand by and do her best to support them through the radical life changes the crash had wrought on them.
Callie was on the short couch at Owen's bedside when Arizona got back to his room, a cup of coffee and a bag of donuts in her hands. Rapping gently with two knuckles got Callie's attention. The kids were sleeping, in her lap and on the bed with Owen, Callie's eyes bleary, face streaked with tears that were only half dried. “Come in,” she whispered, hoarse and croaking.
“I don't want to interrupt,” Arizona whispered as she entered. “I just -”
“I need you to stay,” Callie interrupted, speaking quietly. Angus was asleep against her chest but didn't stir. Gavin and Allegra were slumped against Owen's shoulders. “Please,” she pleaded. Arizona couldn't deny her and sank onto the cushion next to her, putting the bag of sweets on the floor next to her feet.
Callie wanted to move closer, wanted to put her head on Arizona's shoulder and let herself be comforted. She didn't want to move and risk waking any of the kids. They were too tired to be woken again. Arizona didn't hesitate to reach over for Gus' legs, guiding them over her own lap. “Come here,” she whispered, opening up her nearer arm to her partner. Callie slid over immediately, burying herself in Arizona’s shoulder. Sensing her presence Gus sighed and sprawled more completely across them both. Arizona's free hand rubbed his little leg through his jeans. “I could take them home if you want to stay,” she offered in a whisper.
“I should take them home, I just -” She didn't want them to leave Owen alone, not if she wasn't sure their children would get to see him again.
“I get it,” Arizona confirmed. “We'll stay.”
Realizing that Arizona hadn't actually been to her own home in days because of keeping her children Callie started to lift her head. “You could go home. You've -”
“I go home when you go home,” Arizona denied her gently, guiding her head back down to her chest.
Callie was exhausted, would be entirely relieved to get out of the hospital and back to her own house, her bed, with her kids and her girlfriend. She couldn't leave Owen alone though.
“Shh.” Arizona kissed her hair softly, combing gentle fingers through dark locks. “You're thinking so loud. Just relax. Sleep if you can. I'm here. I'll stay with Owen.”
Callie's eyes were already falling closed. A soft knock on the door stopped her from passing straight out. She opened her eyes with a grumbling groan. “Come in.”
“You know, I had forgotten exactly how grumpy you get when you're tired,” Arizona whispered into her hair, making her smile.
Teddy peeked around the door frame cautiously, not wanting to interrupt family time. Her gaze caught on the kids in the bed and she swallowed hard. “Hey.”
“Come on in,” Callie offered. “Have a seat.” There wasn't really anywhere to sit though, and Teddy deserved some time with Owen. “Actually, do you think you could stay with him tonight? The kids are just wiped out and none of the nurses will kick you out.” She breathed deep. “You'd be doing me a huge favor.” If anything changed in the night there was no one she trusted more to handle it than Teddy Altman.
Teddy knew the truth of the offer but didn't question it, just nodded gratefully. “Of course.”
Arizona stood up once Callie had untangled from her side, passing the bag of donuts to Teddy. “Here. You'll need the sugar. And they should get eaten while they're still fresh.”
“Thanks,” the heart surgeon murmured, glancing at the bag in her hands.
Arizona didn't miss a beat as she plucked Angus from Callie's lap, the sleeping toddler snuggling willingly into her neck. Getting Gavin up one handed was a feat in itself but she succeeded. Callie could just blink in surprise at how easily Arizona handled her children, shouldering their bag and scooping up Allegra herself.
The transition from car seat to bed went smoothly, only Allegra murmuring as she was put down in her bed but the familiarity of home soothed her enough that she didn't wake. The twins they placed into the same bed, Callie relieved when they just squirmed closer to each other as she tucked the blankets around them.
Callie kicked her shoes off as she shuffled into her bedroom, leaving them in the floor where they dropped. Her clothes followed suit, all left in trailing piles on the carpet. The top drawer of her dresser provided a soft t-shirt and shorts to sleep in. Before she reached the bed her toes collided with a duffel bag on the floor. She looked down, tired enough that the unexpected just confused her. “Huh?”
“Oh.” Arizona was only half out of her clothes, having stopped to pick up Callie's. “Sorry, that's mine.” She brushed past her to put the clothing in the hamper in Callie's bathroom.
Callie blinked, her bedroom quiet and dark, her mind tired and slow. “Why didn't you -?” But there was no end to that question that she could ask. They didn't live together. Arizona had stayed here to help her and the kids. She couldn't ask her to move in under these circumstances. What she did instead was open one of the empty drawers Owen had left behind on the other side of the dresser. “Here. You can put some stuff in here if you want. Or in the closet.”
Smiling softly, Arizona nodded. “Thank you.” It was a sweet gesture, but it wasn't something they needed to deal with tonight. “Get in bed,” she coaxed in a whisper.
“You're coming, right?” asked Callie, blinking again slowly. She was exhausted, and sad, and wanted nothing more than Arizona’s arms around her.
Arizona leaned in to kiss her softly. “Of course I am. I'll be right there.” She changed into her own tank top and pajama pants and slipped into bed behind Callie, wrapping her in her arms and tucking in close. Callie fell asleep almost immediately but Arizona was awake for a while, stroking dark hair and listening to slow breathing.
It was late when the bedroom door pushed open for Angus but she just moved over to let him crawl in between them. Callie turned over, her kids and her pager the only things that could wake her up when she was deeply asleep. One hand stroked her son's blond curls gently, her chest aching as he snuffled back tears. Her other hand reached for Arizona's arm, breathing deep in relief when her partner laced their fingers together.
[part 20 here]