[fic] something to talk about part 12
Title: Something to Talk About pt XII
Rating: PG/PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue...
Summary: "Faith has never done anything deliberately to make you panic, but somehow you always do."
"This is making me crazy," Willow declared without preamble as she entered Buffy's house, surprising the Slayers gathered for a strategy meeting at the table.
Buffy had a sneaking suspicion what was bothering her friend and she nodded to dismiss the other Slayers. "First of all, gimme the baby," she ordered, standing up to take her three month old nephew from her. "And where's Joy?"
"Xander took her fishing," Willow answered, already pacing distractedly.
Buffy looked up from making faces at Jack, arching an eyebrow. "Fishing? Seriously?"
"That's their new thing." Willow hadn't stopped moving since she'd come through the door and she gnawed on her thumbnail anxiously while she walked.
"And Faith?" Buffy asked, sighing as she noticed the witch's tense jump at the mention of her lover's name.
"She just got home from patrol. She wanted to sleep so I said I'd get the kids out to give her some quiet."
The blonde nodded, smiling as Jack's soft little hand found her finger and gripped tight. "And you ran," she filled in the gap, shrugging as the redhead glared at her. "That's what you're doing, Will. Hate to break it to you."
"I don't want to! I love Faith!" Willow said loudly, only lowering her voice when Jack jumped. "I love her, Buffy. But she said she wanted to marry me, and then she took it back, and hasn't said anything about it in three months! What am I supposed to do with that?" the witch demanded.
"I think you should have said yes the first time she asked you," Buffy answered, her voice cheerful. "She only took it back because you flipped out on her! If Faith asked you know it took a lot for her to put that out there. And you freaking out about it probably has her a little gun shy about trying again. Faith has never done anything deliberately to make you panic, but somehow you always do." She grinned at her baby nephew. "Your Mom's a little bit crazy sometimes, yes she is!" she told him. "But we love her anyways!"
Willow grumbled something under her breath and the blonde laughed. "You really shouldn't talk like that in front of your son," she teased, knowing that he couldn't have possibly heard his mother if she'd only caught it because of her superhuman hearing. "So Faith won't talk about it?" she asked, having sympathy on her best friend. "Have you brought it up?" Buffy questioned further. The guilty look on Willow's face was answer enough and she sighed in frustration. "I'd lock you two in a room but I know you'd just have sex and not talk about it," she complained.
"Buffy!" Willow yelped. "What about watching what we say in front of my son!" she reminded her friend. "If his first word is sex I'm going to kill you!"
"Aww, but it would be so funny!" Buffy denied. "And you know Faith would think it's hilarious!"
Willow rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "She definitely would. Which is why that's not happening."
"Come on, you won't marry her, you've got to give her something!" Buffy objected, grimacing as Willow flinched. "I didn't mean that, Will. I just… Has Faith been acting different since you guys got home from the hospital?"
Willow considered without speaking, finally shaking her head. "No, not really, but there's something wrong. I can feel it."
"But you won't talk to her about it," Buffy reminded her gently.
"Faith hates talking," Willow groused, knowing Buffy was right but not wanting to admit it.
The blonde laughed, shaking her head in amused exasperation. "Will, come on! You think something's wrong, but you won't talk to your girlfriend about it, and you come over here complaining about the whole thing. Don't you see what's going on?" Willow just stared at her. "You regret not saying yes and now you're scared you missed your chance."
Willow flopped backwards into a chair, growling in frustration. "You think you're so smart, don't you?" she demanded.
Buffy laughed as she lifted Jack up to her eyelevel. "We know I'm so smart, don't we, Jack? Sure we do!" She gave her friend another sympathetic look. "If Faith won't do it, then why don't you?" she asked.
"Do what? Propose?" Willow asked, surprised by the suggestion.
"Sure," Buffy answered with a shrug. "I mean, it's not like there's a rule that says you can't. You love her, you want to marry her, all you've got to do is ask."
"You make it sound so simple," Willow complained. "Just waltz in and ask? It's Faith! She's going to say no! Or she'll dump me!"
The blonde scoffed, bouncing Jack against her hip. "Yeah, right. Faith's a lot of things, but she's no coward, Willow. And I think you're underestimating how crazy she is about you," she advised. "She's not going anywhere unless your crazy finally drives her nuts." She smirked, shaking her head affectionately. "But she's stuck around for the last fifteen years, Will. That's a not inconsiderable amount of time." Jack gurgled at them and both sets of eyes were drawn to him. "I think you're underestimating how much credit being the mother of her children will give you, too."
"Buffy…" the redhead whined, not moving her gaze from her son. He, like his sister, resembled Faith not a little, the dark curls and chocolate eyes that owned her completely.
The Slayer took a deep breath as she slid into the seat next to her friend, shifting Jack so that he was sitting on her knee. He smiled and cooed as she started bouncing her leg gently, his little hands flailing happily. "You're scared," Buffy said gently. "And that's completely normal, Willow. Anyone who's thinking about getting married is scared. It's a big deal."
"That's not as helpful as you might think," Willow complained, letting her head drop to thump against the table.
"But," Buffy continued, stressing the word. "I honestly don't think it's as big a deal for you two. At least not the actually being married part of it. I mean, you live together. You have a mortgage together. You have ungodly amounts of sex, which from what I hear, marriage might help cure, actually." She giggled as Willow sent her a sharp look.
"Again, not making me want to do it," the witch said. "I'm perfectly happy with our ungodly amount of sex. And you have no idea how ungodly an amount it really is," she couldn't resist teasing.
Buffy's face screwed up in a grimace. "Eww. But now it's going to be your fault if he uses that word," Buffy reminded her smugly. "The s-e-x part isn't the point I was trying to get to. You two have been more or less married for years now. You have two amazing kids together. It's just the word 'marriage' never got applied to your relationship."
"So you're saying that it's mostly semantic?" Willow questioned, eyebrow arching.
"Is that so wrong that that's all you're missing?" Buffy answered with her own query. "You love each other, you're happy, you've got your lives put together. That's something a lot of married couples couldn't say." She shrugged, giving the witch a smirk. "And if you made it official it'd give you guys an excuse to take a honeymoon so you could add to your inappropriate amount."
"And if we were married you technically would have to stop saying that it's inappropriate," Willow pointed out, starting to smile herself.
Buffy laughed happily, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. "True." Her face shifted into a soft smile, one hand playing over Jack's short, tightly curled hair. "Answer without thinking about it, okay?" Willow nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. "No hard questions, I swear," Buffy assured her, winking.
"Do you love Faith?"
It didn't take any thought. "Yes."
"See, told you it would be easy," Buffy said, voice quiet. "Now, just off the top of your head - do you see yourself with Faith in another twenty years?"
"Yes." It was simple, an easy statement to make. She'd long since passed a point where she could imagine a life without her partner. Buffy didn't question her further, just sat quietly and waited for the realization to sink in.
"Oh my God," Willow gasped as it hit her. "Faith as my wife…" Buffy just grinned, still not speaking. "Would that be completely crazy?"
"I'm not the best person to ask," the Slayer said. "Remember how I reacted when I found out you two had been sleeping together?"
"That's exactly why you're the perfect person to ask!" Willow denied. "Besides being my best friend, you're the one who's had just as many doubts about this thing as I have."
"I think you've had more," Buffy corrected her with a laugh. "I'm the one who always talks it through with you."
"Which is what we're doing," the redhead reminded her. "So help me!"
"I thought we'd made some progress! Or have you not admitted to yourself that you want to marry her?" Willow was gnawing on her lip and Buffy sighed. "What's holding you up?"
"Mostly the idea of proposing," Willow confessed. "What if she says no? What if all of this is just me being crazy, but I was right all along and she never wanted to get married in the first place? Because I could live with her for the rest of my life and not get married and I'd honestly be fine as long as we established that she didn't want to do it."
"Willow, you guys had already established that," Buffy pointed out. "And she still brought it up. She's not going to say no."
"You think?" Willow asked, and it was easy to hear her desperation in her voice. "I can't lose her, Buffy."
"You won't. She loves you every bit as much as you love her." The Slayer sighed, taking her friend's hand. "Will, even if she does say no, you could never lose her. She's the mother of your kids."
"I don't want her to stay with me because of the kids!"
"That's not what I'm saying," Buffy interjected patiently, silently wondering when she'd gotten so good at dealing with the craziness that came with their lives, even the crazy Willow was causing for herself. "Willow, she loves you. She loves your kids too, but she's completely in love with you. And this is coming from me, who waited for her to slip up for years," she pointed out. "I was willing and ready to beat her to death if she ever hurt you. One slip up and I was going to end her. And do you know what? With only one exception that I don't entirely blame her for, she never did." Buffy grinned as Willow glanced up. "And I was diligent! I watched her like a hawk for the first four years. So if an outsider's opinion counts for anything, Faith is completely in this with you." Her smile grew as Willow's lips curled at the corners. "And do you know what else? I don't even watch anymore. She's proven herself countless times." She paused. "Don't tell her that, though, because I kind of get a kick out of keeping her on her toes."
"Are you saying we have your blessing?" Willow asked, voice choked with emotion but still teasing.
Buffy blinked in surprise, nodding. "Yes," she declared. "That's exactly what I'm doing! I trust Faith with you, Will. And if you guys want to get married, then I'm going to be so happy for you both. Also, dibs on Maid of Honor!" They both laughed and Jack cooed from his spot on Buffy's knee. "But Will, if you guys talk it out and decide not to get married then that's fine too! I'll even watch Jack and Joy for you if you guys want a naughty unmarried weekend sometime. I do reserve the right to call that inappropriate, though."
"Deal," Willow agreed, still laughing. "Thank you, Buffy. For talking this out with me and only thinking that I'm crazy instead of saying it."
"I didn't say it?" Buffy teased, grinning. "You're welcome, Will."
The witch was smiling, but her expression became wistful slowly. "Buffy, do you… What do you think Tara would think?"
The Slayer blinked, surprised by the sudden mention of the long dead blonde. "Will…" She had to clear her throat before she could speak further. "Willow…"
The redhead shrugged, looking almost uncomfortable. "I just wonder sometimes, what she would think about me now. It's dumb…"
"No, it's not!" Buffy interjected quickly. "Tara was a huge part of your life, and she'll always be a huge part of your heart. It's not dumb to think about her. You think I don't still think about Angel, about Spike? About what they would think about me, who I am now?"
Willow blinked back tears, and the Slayer sighed. "Come here," she coaxed, one hand pulling Willow's chair closer and drawing her friend into a sympathetic hug. "Tara loved you, Willow. She would want you to be happy. Faith makes you happy. And honestly, I think Tara would be thrilled that you want to get married. And she would love Joy and Jack. She'd be so proud of you, Will. You're an amazing mother, and an awesome friend."
Willow sucked in a shaky breath, feeling tears break over her cheeks. "I miss her," she confessed hoarsely.
"I know you do," Buffy agreed, choked up herself. "I do too. She was so sweet. All the time. I still don't know how she did it living on the Hellmouth. She was a good friend." She hesitated, stroking the witch's hair soothingly. "Do you ever talk about her with Faith or the kids? Anyone?"
Willow swallowed hard, chewing on her lip. "Not really. Tara and I were always private. You know that."
Buffy smiled fondly. "I remember. You know Faith would never hurt you with your memories of Tara. She'd listen if you wanted to talk about her."
"I know." Her face split in a teary smile. "She was always so great that first year…understanding when I always freaked out, and never pushing me to be okay with what happened, just letting me figure it out on my own." She laughed, her fingers joining Buffy's on Jack's head. "She let me use her, but she called me on it when I didn't want to admit it."
The Slayer's hands lifted Jack and turned him so that they could see his face. "Turns out Faith's a good one." She smiled, leaning back so the redhead could see her face. "And I might only say this once, so listen." Willow arched an eyebrow at her friend, intrigued. "I'm glad she got you. You're good together."
Willow smiled, a blink sending fresh tears down her cheeks. "Thank you, Buffy." They both laughed as Jack's little face screwed up in concentration. "I think you're going to want to give him back in a few minutes."
"Yeah, probably," Buffy agreed, laughing. "Are you okay, Will?"
The witch nodded, giving her friend a grateful smile. "I am."
"And what are you going to do?"
"I think I'm going to ask her to marry me," Willow answered, hopping in her seat nervously for a minute as the idea sunk in. "Oh God. You have to help me, Buffy!"
The Slayer's response was interrupted by a throat clearing from the hall. "Anything I can help with?" Faith asked, voice quiet.
Buffy put a quick hand on the witch's thigh as the redhead's eyes widened in immediate panic. "Sleep good?" she asked instead.
Faith sighed, shrugging, no indication on her face that she had heard anything they'd said before her entrance. "I slept. I'm awake now."
The old friends exchanged looks, Willow letting out a deep breath. She stood up, crossing the room to stand on her toes and kiss her Slayer. "That wasn't a very long rest. Are you okay?"
"Sure," Faith said in a voice that was almost her normal tone. "I'm fine, babe." She nodded her head toward Buffy and Jack. "How's our guy?"
"He's working on a present for you," Buffy informed her fellow Slayer gleefully.
"Excellent," Faith murmured.
Willow laughed, sliding both arms around the brunette and leaning into her. "I'll take care of it."
"Hey! I'm perfectly capable of handling it," Buffy objected, wanting to give Willow a moment with her girlfriend.
The witch knew exactly what her friend was up to and found herself grateful for it, needing to be close to Faith after her emotional realizations of the morning. Faith seemed surprised by the close contact, but she curled an arm willingly around her lover's shoulder. "I missed you last night," Willow confessed quietly. "I didn't sleep good. My back was all cold."
"It sounds horrible," Faith teased lightly even as she yawned. "Think we could talk B into watching the little man this afternoon? We could catch a nap."
Willow heard the plural pronoun and smiled against Faith's shoulder. "I'd like that."
"Will, are you okay?" Faith asked, voice hesitant. "Not that I'm not a big fan of the hugging, but we've kind of…felt off since Jack was born. Not because of him, but…" They both knew what she was referring to, and the redhead felt a wave of guilt.
"I know," Willow agreed heavily. "And I know it's my fault. I'm sorry." She peeked up at the Slayer. "Really, Faith. I'm sorry."
Faith stared at her for a long moment, nodding her head finally and sending hair into her face. "It's five-by-five," she said. "We're good though, right?"
"We're five-by-five," Willow said, smirking teasingly.
"Oh, that's how it is, is it?" Faith questioned, eyebrows lifting. "Stealing my phrase?"
"You don't want to share it with me?"
Faith shrugged lightly. "I guess if it's just you it's okay," she acknowledged. "It's kind of cute when you say it."
"Even though I have no idea what it means," Willow complained.
"Leave me some mystery, woman," Faith requested, grinning.
The witch nodded, rising onto her toes again to kiss her girlfriend slowly. "You know," she murmured against the Slayer's lips. "Buffy offered to keep Jack and Joy if we ever want to take a naughty weekend."
Faith smirked. "What did you do, get her drunk?"
"I'm not drunk!" Buffy announced as she returned. "I'm a damn good friend!"
"Language!" Willow chided.
"I offered my help to give you open days of time in which to do stuff I can't even think about to my best friend," Buffy continued. "I'm a saint!"
Faith and Willow shared an amused glance. "I don't actually think you can get sainted for helping two girls hook up," the brunette said finally. "I think that might actually be the opposite of sainthood for Catholics." She shrugged. "But we'll definitely take you up on it." Her gaze shifted from Buffy to Willow. "Yeah? That would be good, right?"
Willow gave her a reassuring smile, nodding. "Absolutely," she agreed happily.
Buffy couldn't hide her smile and she shifted Jack on her hip. "Hey, since I'm being so awesome in the future, how about you guys do me a favor right now?"
"Shoot," Faith offered, Willow relaxing against her and resting her head against the brunette's shoulder.
"Let me take this little cutie out with me." Willow and Faith exchanged surprised looks. They trusted the blonde implicitly with either of the children as well as their own lives, but they knew from experience that going out with an infant was no walk in the park.
"Uh, B…"
"Just down to the store," Buffy clarified quickly. "I've got a few things I need to pick up, and he's just so cute!"
"And he screams and knocks things off the shelves when you're not even sure how he can reach them," Willow said.
"I can handle that if it means more quality time with my guy," Buffy promised. "And I'll call if there's any problems."
Faith nodded, both Slayers looking to Willow for final approval. "Sure, I guess if that's what you want to do. You've got the stroller in your car, right?"
"I'm all over babysitting," Buffy agreed eagerly. "We've so got this, don't we, Jack?" she asked of the baby, all of them laughing when he smiled. "That's a yes," Buffy declared. "Tell your moms we'll see them for dinner." She waved his little hand at the other two women, Faith rolling her eyes even as she smiled.
"We'll see you later," Willow agreed, combing her fingers through Faith's and pulling her toward the door. "Jack," she murmured, kissing his head and Buffy's cheek before she moved away.
"Don't you kiss me," Buffy said flatly, eyes narrowed at Faith as her counterpart smoothed her free hand over her son's head.
"Don't worry," Faith responded, matching Buffy's tone perfectly. "You only wish you could be so lucky."
"Play nice," Willow chided, playing along with their familiar fighting. "But Buffy, she's right. You'd be lucky. She's good."
Buffy wrinkled her nose, covering the baby's ear with one hand. "Gross! Isn't that gross, Jack? We don't need to know some things! We're innocents!"
Faith snorted, leaning over to meet her son's gaze. "You just ignore your Aunt B, little man. She's crazy."
"Alright," Willow called before Buffy could retort. "Have fun at the store, Buffy. Just remember that you asked for it. We're going home."
Faith curled an arm around her shoulders as they crossed the street, realizing suddenly how tired she was now that she had Willow close. "Babe, I know we've got free time, and we were talking, or whatever, but I'm beat…"
"Let's go get some sleep," Willow agreed, knowing that she still had more work to do to fix the rift she'd let grow between them. But Faith had never been big on talking about her feelings, and the witch suspected that simply sleeping next to each other could help more than anything else at the moment. She already had an idea to help with the misunderstanding that had started the space between them. And she had a feeling that her suddenly overly helpful best friend could give her a hand.
*****
The house was almost too quiet when Faith let herself in, but she could hear Willow in the kitchen. The lack of child produced noises was suspicious, though. "Will, babe, I'm home! Where are the kids?" she called, hanging her sword on its hidden rack at the back of the hall closet, safe from curious children, but at hand if she needed it.
"Buffy's got them. It's just us this weekend," Willow called back from the kitchen.
Faith let her eyebrows rise in surprise, but she was undeniably pleased. Things had only gotten better between herself and Willow since they'd both acknowledged that the proposal mishap had been hanging over their heads, but they hadn't discussed it further. Maybe they'd have time over the weekend between all the sex, Faith decided as she moved toward the kitchen. "Oh, hey…" Her words stopped as she drew up in surprise just inside the room. "I think I'm underdressed," she commented, swallowing through a dry throat as she stared. Willow had cleaned, obviously, but taken it a step further and set the table for dinner, something they rarely did. And she was wearing Faith's favorite skirt, a black leather thing that the witch borrowed frequently from Buffy once she'd realized how crazy it drove her partner.
"I didn't cook," Willow interjected quickly. "And you look fine."
"No," Faith objected, taking a step back. "You've obviously got something going here, so I'm going to do my part and at least show up looking like I didn't just crawl out of a sewer. Which I did, so I'm going to grab a shower if dinner can wait twenty minutes."
"Absolutely," Willow agreed, nodding and giving her a shy smile. "Take your time."
Faith paused in the doorway, giving her girlfriend a look. "You look really good, Will."
"Thank you, sweetie." Normally being addressed as a sweetie or sweetheart would make Faith's hackles rise, but Willow simply got away with things she wouldn't let anyone else do. And from the look on her face, the redhead knew exactly how much leeway the Slayer gave her.
"I'll be back in a few," Faith said, clearing her throat. If she didn't have suspicions that Willow had something specific planned, she'd have been across the room in a heartbeat to lift her girlfriend to the counter and show her exactly how much she'd missed her during these last three months of awkward tension.
Willow paced as soon as Faith was out of the room, her fingers fumbling for the phone. "Come on!" Buffy answered without saying hello. "She's not going to say no, Will! Just ask her already!"
There was muffled fumbling on the other end of the phone and Willow was surprised to hear her daughter's voice. "Are you and Mama married yet?" the eight year old demanded, obviously impatient.
"No, sweetie," Willow answered laughing. "I haven't asked her yet."
"Do it!" Joy yelped loudly.
Willow could hear Buffy laughing, and the witch sighed as her best friend took the phone back. "See? There's your cheering section right there."
"Little bit bossy for a cheering section," Willow commented, feeling her nerves rising to choke her.
"Well, you're trying to psyche yourself out of it, and that's no good!" Buffy pointed out. "Just ask her and she'll say yes and you won't have to worry about it anymore! Hey, how come you can call me right now anyway? Faith should be home by now."
"She's in the shower and I'm panicking."
"Why? That's perfect for you guys! You just go join her, give her the ring and you're already on to the celebrating," Buffy said cheerfully.
"Buffy Summers! Stop it!" Willow chided breathlessly. "You're supposed to be helping me!"
The blonde just laughed. "You just need to suck it up and do it, Willow! You're the strongest woman I know. Just ask her to marry you!"
"I can do this," Willow said to herself.
"Exactly!" Buffy agreed. "We're hanging up now! Love you!" Joy loudly echoed the statement and the phone went dead in her hands.
It didn't take Faith long to join her, the Slayer tucking her button down shirt in as she returned. The brunette had never been one to dress up, but even barefooted and in her dark jeans that clung in all the right places, there was no denying that she looked good. "Hey babe, sorry I couldn't find anything nicer to wear, but…"
Willow shook her head, voice hoarse as she spoke. "Don't - you look amazing…"
The Slayer looked down at herself and back at the witch, expression doubtful. "No contest, Will."
"Whatever," the redhead said, surprised to find herself giggling. "I think you look great." Her head cocked to the side, and she moved forward slowly. Faith tucked her hands in the back pockets of her jeans to keep herself from touching Willow. The witch had obviously put a lot of thought and planning into the evening and she didn't want her overeager hands to knock the night off track.
Willow noticed the move and she rose onto her toes to kiss the Slayer softly. "Is there a reason you're not touching me?" she asked against her girlfriend's lips.
Faith captured her lips firmly as her answer, both hands squeezing denim tightly to stay in place. Willow's hands felt no such restraint and combed through brown curls before sliding down the back of her neck and over her shoulders to rest on the top of her chest.
"Okay, so it's not that you're mad at me," Willow mused breathlessly as the deep, thorough kiss broke.
Faith shook her head, a bit breathless herself. "Don't want to mess up the night."
Willow blinked in surprise and reached around behind Faith to drag both hands out of their hiding spots in her butt pockets. "Honey, kissing me like that will never ruin a night." Faith smirked, obviously pleased, and Willow took her hand to pull her to the table. "You've got to be hungry, right?"
Faith shrugged, nodding. "Pretty much always. What we got tonight?"
"Steaks."
The brunette looked surprised. "I thought you said you didn't cook."
"Xander did it," Willow answered quickly, eyes wide suddenly.
Faith just looked doubtfully at her plate. "Xander made dinner for us? Why would he do that?"
"Because he's my friend and I can't cook and steak's your favorite," the witch said, voice growing higher in pitch. "I helped with the sides."
The Slayer could see her girlfriend's panic coming, and though she didn't know the cause, she reached up to pull the witch into her seat. "Well, cool," she said reassuringly. "It all smells great."
"You want to eat?" Willow asked hopefully, smiling shyly.
"Yeah," Faith agreed. "Let's eat."
The awkward tension left in the wake of Willow's minor panic faded as they dug into their food, conversation pushed in favor of eating. Finally, Willow broke the quiet with small talk, exchanging stories about their days.
It wasn't until she got up to clear their plates and bring their dessert back to the table that Faith brought up her lover's odd behavior throughout the night. "Will, I know something's up. Want to just fill me in?" The redhead's thin shoulders rose around her ears, but she didn't answer. "Is it bad?" Faith asked hesitantly.
"No," Willow said, turning to face her. "I mean, I hope not. Faith, I'm nervous…"
A frown creased the Slayer's face and she stood up from her chair. "Nervous because of me?"
"Kind of," Willow confessed. "But not because of you, exactly. More nervous about what you're going to say."
"Okay," Faith said slowly, not sure what she was missing. "Well, are we pregnant again or something?"
Willow couldn't help laughing at that, shaking her head. "No," she promised. "We're safe."
"Good. I love Jack, but I don't think another one right now would be the best idea we've ever had," Faith admitted.
"I agree."
"Okay, so it's not another baby… do you want to give me a clue?" Faith smirked as Willow giggled again, the Slayer crossing her arms across her chest while she waited with her hips leaned back against the kitchen table.
Willow took a deep breath and held it, staring at her girlfriend for a long moment. "Nope," Willow said as she released her big breath and stepped forward. "Buffy was right. Just got to suck it up and do it." Faith's eyes widened as the witch dropped to her knee directly in front of her.
"Um, what exactly did B tell you to do?" Faith asked, feeling nervous suddenly.
"Not anything like that!" Willow chided sharply, slapping one hand to the brunette's knee. "Faith, I want to marry you. And I want you to want to marry me too." She hadn't intended to lay it out so bluntly, but Faith's innuendo had thrown her off balance. The shock in her partner's face only grew and Willow swallowed hard. It took her a second to realize that the ring she'd picked was still hidden in her pocket and she pulled it out rapidly.
"I know it's simple, but I saw it and it made me think of you and it won't break or anything when you punch things. I'm not sure how much you punch with your left, but I wanted…" Willow stopped her babbling with an obvious effort, hoping she wasn't just imagining the hint of a smile on Faith's lips. "That's not the point. The point is that I want you, Faith. I want you to be my partner for the rest of our lives. And I know you are, or you will be, but I… I just really want to be your wife too." She took a deep breath. "And if that's not something you want, can we just forget this ever happened and just go back to the sexy part of the night?"
Faith let her smile grow, shaking her head in amusement. "Will, how is it that you proposed and the only actual question you asked was if we could go back to the sexy part?" Willow's brow furrowed as she realized that it was true. "But that's definitely what I want," Faith said, relaxing her arms. "The married part," she clarified. And then after a beat, "Actually, both parts. The married and the sexy parts." She gave the witch a teasing smile. "Does that make me greedy?"
Willow bit her lip, smiling hopefully. "If it does then so am I," she admitted. "So… is that a yes?"
"Yes, Willow. I'd love to marry you," Faith answered, both hands reaching down to pull Willow to her feet and up into a kiss. It was slow but deep, Willow curling both arms tightly around her Slayer's waist. Faith let herself touch her girlfriend this time, hands sliding into red hair while tongues gently dueled. "So, do you want your ring now, or what?" Faith asked softly as they slowly separated.
Willow laughed, leaning her head against Faith's shoulder to catch her breath. "I've got a ring?"
"For a while now. I just…after the hospital I figured you didn't want it," Faith said, voice hesitant.
"I freak out," Willow acknowledged. "You stick with me every time, but I freak out and I'm sorry." She poked the Slayer lightly in the side. "If you change your mind about wanting to marry me I'll understand. But you can't leave me. We'll just stay like we are now."
The Slayer shook her head and lifted her left hand. "I think you owe me an engagement ring," she said, hoping the gesture would reassure her witch. Willow blushed and slipped the ring into place. It was simple, made of braided gold and silver with no stone, and Willow peeked at her for a reaction. "Will, I love it."
"I know engagement rings normally have diamonds on them, but with you being the Slayer and hitting stuff I just thought that…"
"You're right," Faith cut in before Willow's babble could really take off. "I'd be breaking it all the time and I'd hate to lose it. This one suits me perfectly. It's great."
"And you're not just going along with me, right?" Willow questioned. "You actually want to get married?"
Faith stayed quiet for a moment, her head leaning against Willow's hair. "Yes, I do, but can we talk? I have a feeling that you won't get past this until we do."
"Okay," Willow agreed, letting Faith's arm around her shoulder steer her back into a seat.
It took the Slayer a few seconds to gather her thoughts, the effort plain on her face, and Willow kept her mouth shut so she wouldn't babble anxiously. "It takes me a while to figure stuff out, you know? We both took a long time to figure out what we are and what we wanted," Faith started. "But we figured it out and we're really solid now." Willow nodded her agreement but didn't speak, just smiling softly as she reached over to take Faith's hand. "And then all that crap happened at the hospital and we were fighting or something and I didn't even know what had happened, really. I hate not feeling solid with you, Will."
Willow's expression was contrite sympathy and she pulled Faith's hand to her lips to kiss the back of it. "I'm sorry," the witch murmured.
"Yeah, me too," Faith agreed. "But I've been thinking about it since I didn't think I could bring it up with you, about why I never wanted to get married, and why it freaked you so much whenever I changed my mind." She glanced away for a second, visibly bracing herself. Willow knew what it meant for Faith to confront her feelings, much less share them with someone else, and she resolved not to do anything to make it harder on her partner to open up. "You know about my mom," Faith continued slowly. "You're the only person that knows about my mom. She never acted like being married was a big deal. Her husbands were disposable to her. And you're…the opposite of disposable - I never wanted to treat you like that."
She sighed. "I can't say I've never treated anyone like that, because I did. I used to. All the time. Hell, when we first started I figured you'd drop me when you got finished with me and I'd go on to the next one." Willow grimaced and Faith shook her head. "I'm not saying it to make you feel bad, Will. I understand what you were going through and I know you needed a way to get out of your head and I was more than happy to be that for you." The comment drew a smile and Faith grinned in response. "But you got in somehow. You're a sneaky little witch, you know that?" Willow laughed softly at that, kissing Faith's hand again. "And I fell for you. I didn't figure on it happening that way, and I know you didn't either judging by how you kept panicking on me," she teased, keeping her tone light. "And I don't blame you for that. I wasn't what you expected and then I got unpredictable right when you got used to things the way they were. And then it happened again after Jack was born and you panicked again. Which is fine…"
"Faith…"
"Shh, I've got this," the Slayer interjected, giving her a wink. "My mom treated marriage like it was temporary. And I never wanted anything else, so it's kind of a miracle I don't have a bunch of Vegas marriage certificates hidden somewhere." Willow scowled at that, squeezing the Slayer's fingers tight. "Which I don't!" she clarified quickly. "Because seeing my mom do it over and over, I knew that's not what it was supposed to be like. It's supposed to be permanent. The one person you want for the rest of your life. And that's you. You're permanent for me, Will." Suddenly blushing, Faith cleared her throat. "And this is way cheesy, so I vote we go back to the sexy part of the night. Engagement calls for some celebration, right?"
Willow knew perfectly well how much sharing that much had taken from her partner, and she nodded without speaking. Instead, she threw her vote in with Faith's and demonstrated it by rising from her seat to straddle her fiancée in her chair. Faith kissed her promptly, free hand sliding over the skirt she enjoyed so much. Cupping the witch's butt, she stood up and started carrying them up the stairs. "B's giving us this skirt as a present, okay?" she breathed, not waiting for an answer before she was kissing Willow again.
They hit the wall next to their bedroom door, Willow's hand scrambling blindly for the doorknob since she didn't want to break the kiss to look for it. They stumbled through when she succeeded in getting it open, the witch gasping for breath as they collided with the side of the dresser. "Faith," she said, giggling. "Aim, babe. Bed, not the dresser."
"I know what I'm doing," Faith said in between kisses to her lover's freckled neck. "Just…give me a minute." One hand shifted to hold Willow up, the witch's legs tight around her waist, while the other scrambled for a drawer.
"That's hot," Willow moaned, exploring the Slayer's neck with her lips. "Faith…"
"Patience," the brunette growled, gasping herself as Willow's legs squeezed her middle tightly. "We're doing this right."
Willow's head rocked back on her neck, a frustrated groan escaping. "I don't even know what that's supposed to mean!" she complained, breathing hard against Faith's skin.
"It means trust me," Faith advised her, finding what she was looking for and lifting it into the space next to her face. "See?"
Willow lifted her head from its spot, losing her breath as she caught sight of the item pinched in between Faith's fingers. "Faith, it's beautiful…" The ring was white gold, tiny stones on either side of the central diamond.
"You really like it?" Faith questioned. "B helped me pick it out."
Willow blinked as she lifted her hand up so Faith could put the ring on her finger. "Wait, what? Buffy knew this whole time that you had this?"
Faith nodded, not sure about her partner's reaction. "Um, yeah… Why? I picked this one, but I don't do stuff like this, so I wanted a second opinion, and B's known you a lot longer than me, and she's your best friend…"
"She let me freak out for weeks!" Willow complained. "She didn't say a thing!"
Faith laughed, eyes studying the effect of the ring on Willow's hand before she lifted her own to display them together. "She knows I'd have kicked her ass if she'd told on me." She craned in to kiss the witch, speaking against her lips. "And you have no idea how long I've had that ring in here," she admitted.
Willow smiled, kissing her slowly and letting her hands slid into Faith's hair. "Do you want to tell me?"
"Nope," Faith answered promptly. "It doesn't matter anymore. We've got better things to do."
Willow grinned widely, nodding as Faith started moving them backwards again. She couldn't see where they were going, but she trusted the Slayer to get them there.
[part 13 here]
Rating: PG/PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue...
Summary: "Faith has never done anything deliberately to make you panic, but somehow you always do."
"This is making me crazy," Willow declared without preamble as she entered Buffy's house, surprising the Slayers gathered for a strategy meeting at the table.
Buffy had a sneaking suspicion what was bothering her friend and she nodded to dismiss the other Slayers. "First of all, gimme the baby," she ordered, standing up to take her three month old nephew from her. "And where's Joy?"
"Xander took her fishing," Willow answered, already pacing distractedly.
Buffy looked up from making faces at Jack, arching an eyebrow. "Fishing? Seriously?"
"That's their new thing." Willow hadn't stopped moving since she'd come through the door and she gnawed on her thumbnail anxiously while she walked.
"And Faith?" Buffy asked, sighing as she noticed the witch's tense jump at the mention of her lover's name.
"She just got home from patrol. She wanted to sleep so I said I'd get the kids out to give her some quiet."
The blonde nodded, smiling as Jack's soft little hand found her finger and gripped tight. "And you ran," she filled in the gap, shrugging as the redhead glared at her. "That's what you're doing, Will. Hate to break it to you."
"I don't want to! I love Faith!" Willow said loudly, only lowering her voice when Jack jumped. "I love her, Buffy. But she said she wanted to marry me, and then she took it back, and hasn't said anything about it in three months! What am I supposed to do with that?" the witch demanded.
"I think you should have said yes the first time she asked you," Buffy answered, her voice cheerful. "She only took it back because you flipped out on her! If Faith asked you know it took a lot for her to put that out there. And you freaking out about it probably has her a little gun shy about trying again. Faith has never done anything deliberately to make you panic, but somehow you always do." She grinned at her baby nephew. "Your Mom's a little bit crazy sometimes, yes she is!" she told him. "But we love her anyways!"
Willow grumbled something under her breath and the blonde laughed. "You really shouldn't talk like that in front of your son," she teased, knowing that he couldn't have possibly heard his mother if she'd only caught it because of her superhuman hearing. "So Faith won't talk about it?" she asked, having sympathy on her best friend. "Have you brought it up?" Buffy questioned further. The guilty look on Willow's face was answer enough and she sighed in frustration. "I'd lock you two in a room but I know you'd just have sex and not talk about it," she complained.
"Buffy!" Willow yelped. "What about watching what we say in front of my son!" she reminded her friend. "If his first word is sex I'm going to kill you!"
"Aww, but it would be so funny!" Buffy denied. "And you know Faith would think it's hilarious!"
Willow rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "She definitely would. Which is why that's not happening."
"Come on, you won't marry her, you've got to give her something!" Buffy objected, grimacing as Willow flinched. "I didn't mean that, Will. I just… Has Faith been acting different since you guys got home from the hospital?"
Willow considered without speaking, finally shaking her head. "No, not really, but there's something wrong. I can feel it."
"But you won't talk to her about it," Buffy reminded her gently.
"Faith hates talking," Willow groused, knowing Buffy was right but not wanting to admit it.
The blonde laughed, shaking her head in amused exasperation. "Will, come on! You think something's wrong, but you won't talk to your girlfriend about it, and you come over here complaining about the whole thing. Don't you see what's going on?" Willow just stared at her. "You regret not saying yes and now you're scared you missed your chance."
Willow flopped backwards into a chair, growling in frustration. "You think you're so smart, don't you?" she demanded.
Buffy laughed as she lifted Jack up to her eyelevel. "We know I'm so smart, don't we, Jack? Sure we do!" She gave her friend another sympathetic look. "If Faith won't do it, then why don't you?" she asked.
"Do what? Propose?" Willow asked, surprised by the suggestion.
"Sure," Buffy answered with a shrug. "I mean, it's not like there's a rule that says you can't. You love her, you want to marry her, all you've got to do is ask."
"You make it sound so simple," Willow complained. "Just waltz in and ask? It's Faith! She's going to say no! Or she'll dump me!"
The blonde scoffed, bouncing Jack against her hip. "Yeah, right. Faith's a lot of things, but she's no coward, Willow. And I think you're underestimating how crazy she is about you," she advised. "She's not going anywhere unless your crazy finally drives her nuts." She smirked, shaking her head affectionately. "But she's stuck around for the last fifteen years, Will. That's a not inconsiderable amount of time." Jack gurgled at them and both sets of eyes were drawn to him. "I think you're underestimating how much credit being the mother of her children will give you, too."
"Buffy…" the redhead whined, not moving her gaze from her son. He, like his sister, resembled Faith not a little, the dark curls and chocolate eyes that owned her completely.
The Slayer took a deep breath as she slid into the seat next to her friend, shifting Jack so that he was sitting on her knee. He smiled and cooed as she started bouncing her leg gently, his little hands flailing happily. "You're scared," Buffy said gently. "And that's completely normal, Willow. Anyone who's thinking about getting married is scared. It's a big deal."
"That's not as helpful as you might think," Willow complained, letting her head drop to thump against the table.
"But," Buffy continued, stressing the word. "I honestly don't think it's as big a deal for you two. At least not the actually being married part of it. I mean, you live together. You have a mortgage together. You have ungodly amounts of sex, which from what I hear, marriage might help cure, actually." She giggled as Willow sent her a sharp look.
"Again, not making me want to do it," the witch said. "I'm perfectly happy with our ungodly amount of sex. And you have no idea how ungodly an amount it really is," she couldn't resist teasing.
Buffy's face screwed up in a grimace. "Eww. But now it's going to be your fault if he uses that word," Buffy reminded her smugly. "The s-e-x part isn't the point I was trying to get to. You two have been more or less married for years now. You have two amazing kids together. It's just the word 'marriage' never got applied to your relationship."
"So you're saying that it's mostly semantic?" Willow questioned, eyebrow arching.
"Is that so wrong that that's all you're missing?" Buffy answered with her own query. "You love each other, you're happy, you've got your lives put together. That's something a lot of married couples couldn't say." She shrugged, giving the witch a smirk. "And if you made it official it'd give you guys an excuse to take a honeymoon so you could add to your inappropriate amount."
"And if we were married you technically would have to stop saying that it's inappropriate," Willow pointed out, starting to smile herself.
Buffy laughed happily, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. "True." Her face shifted into a soft smile, one hand playing over Jack's short, tightly curled hair. "Answer without thinking about it, okay?" Willow nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. "No hard questions, I swear," Buffy assured her, winking.
"Do you love Faith?"
It didn't take any thought. "Yes."
"See, told you it would be easy," Buffy said, voice quiet. "Now, just off the top of your head - do you see yourself with Faith in another twenty years?"
"Yes." It was simple, an easy statement to make. She'd long since passed a point where she could imagine a life without her partner. Buffy didn't question her further, just sat quietly and waited for the realization to sink in.
"Oh my God," Willow gasped as it hit her. "Faith as my wife…" Buffy just grinned, still not speaking. "Would that be completely crazy?"
"I'm not the best person to ask," the Slayer said. "Remember how I reacted when I found out you two had been sleeping together?"
"That's exactly why you're the perfect person to ask!" Willow denied. "Besides being my best friend, you're the one who's had just as many doubts about this thing as I have."
"I think you've had more," Buffy corrected her with a laugh. "I'm the one who always talks it through with you."
"Which is what we're doing," the redhead reminded her. "So help me!"
"I thought we'd made some progress! Or have you not admitted to yourself that you want to marry her?" Willow was gnawing on her lip and Buffy sighed. "What's holding you up?"
"Mostly the idea of proposing," Willow confessed. "What if she says no? What if all of this is just me being crazy, but I was right all along and she never wanted to get married in the first place? Because I could live with her for the rest of my life and not get married and I'd honestly be fine as long as we established that she didn't want to do it."
"Willow, you guys had already established that," Buffy pointed out. "And she still brought it up. She's not going to say no."
"You think?" Willow asked, and it was easy to hear her desperation in her voice. "I can't lose her, Buffy."
"You won't. She loves you every bit as much as you love her." The Slayer sighed, taking her friend's hand. "Will, even if she does say no, you could never lose her. She's the mother of your kids."
"I don't want her to stay with me because of the kids!"
"That's not what I'm saying," Buffy interjected patiently, silently wondering when she'd gotten so good at dealing with the craziness that came with their lives, even the crazy Willow was causing for herself. "Willow, she loves you. She loves your kids too, but she's completely in love with you. And this is coming from me, who waited for her to slip up for years," she pointed out. "I was willing and ready to beat her to death if she ever hurt you. One slip up and I was going to end her. And do you know what? With only one exception that I don't entirely blame her for, she never did." Buffy grinned as Willow glanced up. "And I was diligent! I watched her like a hawk for the first four years. So if an outsider's opinion counts for anything, Faith is completely in this with you." Her smile grew as Willow's lips curled at the corners. "And do you know what else? I don't even watch anymore. She's proven herself countless times." She paused. "Don't tell her that, though, because I kind of get a kick out of keeping her on her toes."
"Are you saying we have your blessing?" Willow asked, voice choked with emotion but still teasing.
Buffy blinked in surprise, nodding. "Yes," she declared. "That's exactly what I'm doing! I trust Faith with you, Will. And if you guys want to get married, then I'm going to be so happy for you both. Also, dibs on Maid of Honor!" They both laughed and Jack cooed from his spot on Buffy's knee. "But Will, if you guys talk it out and decide not to get married then that's fine too! I'll even watch Jack and Joy for you if you guys want a naughty unmarried weekend sometime. I do reserve the right to call that inappropriate, though."
"Deal," Willow agreed, still laughing. "Thank you, Buffy. For talking this out with me and only thinking that I'm crazy instead of saying it."
"I didn't say it?" Buffy teased, grinning. "You're welcome, Will."
The witch was smiling, but her expression became wistful slowly. "Buffy, do you… What do you think Tara would think?"
The Slayer blinked, surprised by the sudden mention of the long dead blonde. "Will…" She had to clear her throat before she could speak further. "Willow…"
The redhead shrugged, looking almost uncomfortable. "I just wonder sometimes, what she would think about me now. It's dumb…"
"No, it's not!" Buffy interjected quickly. "Tara was a huge part of your life, and she'll always be a huge part of your heart. It's not dumb to think about her. You think I don't still think about Angel, about Spike? About what they would think about me, who I am now?"
Willow blinked back tears, and the Slayer sighed. "Come here," she coaxed, one hand pulling Willow's chair closer and drawing her friend into a sympathetic hug. "Tara loved you, Willow. She would want you to be happy. Faith makes you happy. And honestly, I think Tara would be thrilled that you want to get married. And she would love Joy and Jack. She'd be so proud of you, Will. You're an amazing mother, and an awesome friend."
Willow sucked in a shaky breath, feeling tears break over her cheeks. "I miss her," she confessed hoarsely.
"I know you do," Buffy agreed, choked up herself. "I do too. She was so sweet. All the time. I still don't know how she did it living on the Hellmouth. She was a good friend." She hesitated, stroking the witch's hair soothingly. "Do you ever talk about her with Faith or the kids? Anyone?"
Willow swallowed hard, chewing on her lip. "Not really. Tara and I were always private. You know that."
Buffy smiled fondly. "I remember. You know Faith would never hurt you with your memories of Tara. She'd listen if you wanted to talk about her."
"I know." Her face split in a teary smile. "She was always so great that first year…understanding when I always freaked out, and never pushing me to be okay with what happened, just letting me figure it out on my own." She laughed, her fingers joining Buffy's on Jack's head. "She let me use her, but she called me on it when I didn't want to admit it."
The Slayer's hands lifted Jack and turned him so that they could see his face. "Turns out Faith's a good one." She smiled, leaning back so the redhead could see her face. "And I might only say this once, so listen." Willow arched an eyebrow at her friend, intrigued. "I'm glad she got you. You're good together."
Willow smiled, a blink sending fresh tears down her cheeks. "Thank you, Buffy." They both laughed as Jack's little face screwed up in concentration. "I think you're going to want to give him back in a few minutes."
"Yeah, probably," Buffy agreed, laughing. "Are you okay, Will?"
The witch nodded, giving her friend a grateful smile. "I am."
"And what are you going to do?"
"I think I'm going to ask her to marry me," Willow answered, hopping in her seat nervously for a minute as the idea sunk in. "Oh God. You have to help me, Buffy!"
The Slayer's response was interrupted by a throat clearing from the hall. "Anything I can help with?" Faith asked, voice quiet.
Buffy put a quick hand on the witch's thigh as the redhead's eyes widened in immediate panic. "Sleep good?" she asked instead.
Faith sighed, shrugging, no indication on her face that she had heard anything they'd said before her entrance. "I slept. I'm awake now."
The old friends exchanged looks, Willow letting out a deep breath. She stood up, crossing the room to stand on her toes and kiss her Slayer. "That wasn't a very long rest. Are you okay?"
"Sure," Faith said in a voice that was almost her normal tone. "I'm fine, babe." She nodded her head toward Buffy and Jack. "How's our guy?"
"He's working on a present for you," Buffy informed her fellow Slayer gleefully.
"Excellent," Faith murmured.
Willow laughed, sliding both arms around the brunette and leaning into her. "I'll take care of it."
"Hey! I'm perfectly capable of handling it," Buffy objected, wanting to give Willow a moment with her girlfriend.
The witch knew exactly what her friend was up to and found herself grateful for it, needing to be close to Faith after her emotional realizations of the morning. Faith seemed surprised by the close contact, but she curled an arm willingly around her lover's shoulder. "I missed you last night," Willow confessed quietly. "I didn't sleep good. My back was all cold."
"It sounds horrible," Faith teased lightly even as she yawned. "Think we could talk B into watching the little man this afternoon? We could catch a nap."
Willow heard the plural pronoun and smiled against Faith's shoulder. "I'd like that."
"Will, are you okay?" Faith asked, voice hesitant. "Not that I'm not a big fan of the hugging, but we've kind of…felt off since Jack was born. Not because of him, but…" They both knew what she was referring to, and the redhead felt a wave of guilt.
"I know," Willow agreed heavily. "And I know it's my fault. I'm sorry." She peeked up at the Slayer. "Really, Faith. I'm sorry."
Faith stared at her for a long moment, nodding her head finally and sending hair into her face. "It's five-by-five," she said. "We're good though, right?"
"We're five-by-five," Willow said, smirking teasingly.
"Oh, that's how it is, is it?" Faith questioned, eyebrows lifting. "Stealing my phrase?"
"You don't want to share it with me?"
Faith shrugged lightly. "I guess if it's just you it's okay," she acknowledged. "It's kind of cute when you say it."
"Even though I have no idea what it means," Willow complained.
"Leave me some mystery, woman," Faith requested, grinning.
The witch nodded, rising onto her toes again to kiss her girlfriend slowly. "You know," she murmured against the Slayer's lips. "Buffy offered to keep Jack and Joy if we ever want to take a naughty weekend."
Faith smirked. "What did you do, get her drunk?"
"I'm not drunk!" Buffy announced as she returned. "I'm a damn good friend!"
"Language!" Willow chided.
"I offered my help to give you open days of time in which to do stuff I can't even think about to my best friend," Buffy continued. "I'm a saint!"
Faith and Willow shared an amused glance. "I don't actually think you can get sainted for helping two girls hook up," the brunette said finally. "I think that might actually be the opposite of sainthood for Catholics." She shrugged. "But we'll definitely take you up on it." Her gaze shifted from Buffy to Willow. "Yeah? That would be good, right?"
Willow gave her a reassuring smile, nodding. "Absolutely," she agreed happily.
Buffy couldn't hide her smile and she shifted Jack on her hip. "Hey, since I'm being so awesome in the future, how about you guys do me a favor right now?"
"Shoot," Faith offered, Willow relaxing against her and resting her head against the brunette's shoulder.
"Let me take this little cutie out with me." Willow and Faith exchanged surprised looks. They trusted the blonde implicitly with either of the children as well as their own lives, but they knew from experience that going out with an infant was no walk in the park.
"Uh, B…"
"Just down to the store," Buffy clarified quickly. "I've got a few things I need to pick up, and he's just so cute!"
"And he screams and knocks things off the shelves when you're not even sure how he can reach them," Willow said.
"I can handle that if it means more quality time with my guy," Buffy promised. "And I'll call if there's any problems."
Faith nodded, both Slayers looking to Willow for final approval. "Sure, I guess if that's what you want to do. You've got the stroller in your car, right?"
"I'm all over babysitting," Buffy agreed eagerly. "We've so got this, don't we, Jack?" she asked of the baby, all of them laughing when he smiled. "That's a yes," Buffy declared. "Tell your moms we'll see them for dinner." She waved his little hand at the other two women, Faith rolling her eyes even as she smiled.
"We'll see you later," Willow agreed, combing her fingers through Faith's and pulling her toward the door. "Jack," she murmured, kissing his head and Buffy's cheek before she moved away.
"Don't you kiss me," Buffy said flatly, eyes narrowed at Faith as her counterpart smoothed her free hand over her son's head.
"Don't worry," Faith responded, matching Buffy's tone perfectly. "You only wish you could be so lucky."
"Play nice," Willow chided, playing along with their familiar fighting. "But Buffy, she's right. You'd be lucky. She's good."
Buffy wrinkled her nose, covering the baby's ear with one hand. "Gross! Isn't that gross, Jack? We don't need to know some things! We're innocents!"
Faith snorted, leaning over to meet her son's gaze. "You just ignore your Aunt B, little man. She's crazy."
"Alright," Willow called before Buffy could retort. "Have fun at the store, Buffy. Just remember that you asked for it. We're going home."
Faith curled an arm around her shoulders as they crossed the street, realizing suddenly how tired she was now that she had Willow close. "Babe, I know we've got free time, and we were talking, or whatever, but I'm beat…"
"Let's go get some sleep," Willow agreed, knowing that she still had more work to do to fix the rift she'd let grow between them. But Faith had never been big on talking about her feelings, and the witch suspected that simply sleeping next to each other could help more than anything else at the moment. She already had an idea to help with the misunderstanding that had started the space between them. And she had a feeling that her suddenly overly helpful best friend could give her a hand.
*****
The house was almost too quiet when Faith let herself in, but she could hear Willow in the kitchen. The lack of child produced noises was suspicious, though. "Will, babe, I'm home! Where are the kids?" she called, hanging her sword on its hidden rack at the back of the hall closet, safe from curious children, but at hand if she needed it.
"Buffy's got them. It's just us this weekend," Willow called back from the kitchen.
Faith let her eyebrows rise in surprise, but she was undeniably pleased. Things had only gotten better between herself and Willow since they'd both acknowledged that the proposal mishap had been hanging over their heads, but they hadn't discussed it further. Maybe they'd have time over the weekend between all the sex, Faith decided as she moved toward the kitchen. "Oh, hey…" Her words stopped as she drew up in surprise just inside the room. "I think I'm underdressed," she commented, swallowing through a dry throat as she stared. Willow had cleaned, obviously, but taken it a step further and set the table for dinner, something they rarely did. And she was wearing Faith's favorite skirt, a black leather thing that the witch borrowed frequently from Buffy once she'd realized how crazy it drove her partner.
"I didn't cook," Willow interjected quickly. "And you look fine."
"No," Faith objected, taking a step back. "You've obviously got something going here, so I'm going to do my part and at least show up looking like I didn't just crawl out of a sewer. Which I did, so I'm going to grab a shower if dinner can wait twenty minutes."
"Absolutely," Willow agreed, nodding and giving her a shy smile. "Take your time."
Faith paused in the doorway, giving her girlfriend a look. "You look really good, Will."
"Thank you, sweetie." Normally being addressed as a sweetie or sweetheart would make Faith's hackles rise, but Willow simply got away with things she wouldn't let anyone else do. And from the look on her face, the redhead knew exactly how much leeway the Slayer gave her.
"I'll be back in a few," Faith said, clearing her throat. If she didn't have suspicions that Willow had something specific planned, she'd have been across the room in a heartbeat to lift her girlfriend to the counter and show her exactly how much she'd missed her during these last three months of awkward tension.
Willow paced as soon as Faith was out of the room, her fingers fumbling for the phone. "Come on!" Buffy answered without saying hello. "She's not going to say no, Will! Just ask her already!"
There was muffled fumbling on the other end of the phone and Willow was surprised to hear her daughter's voice. "Are you and Mama married yet?" the eight year old demanded, obviously impatient.
"No, sweetie," Willow answered laughing. "I haven't asked her yet."
"Do it!" Joy yelped loudly.
Willow could hear Buffy laughing, and the witch sighed as her best friend took the phone back. "See? There's your cheering section right there."
"Little bit bossy for a cheering section," Willow commented, feeling her nerves rising to choke her.
"Well, you're trying to psyche yourself out of it, and that's no good!" Buffy pointed out. "Just ask her and she'll say yes and you won't have to worry about it anymore! Hey, how come you can call me right now anyway? Faith should be home by now."
"She's in the shower and I'm panicking."
"Why? That's perfect for you guys! You just go join her, give her the ring and you're already on to the celebrating," Buffy said cheerfully.
"Buffy Summers! Stop it!" Willow chided breathlessly. "You're supposed to be helping me!"
The blonde just laughed. "You just need to suck it up and do it, Willow! You're the strongest woman I know. Just ask her to marry you!"
"I can do this," Willow said to herself.
"Exactly!" Buffy agreed. "We're hanging up now! Love you!" Joy loudly echoed the statement and the phone went dead in her hands.
It didn't take Faith long to join her, the Slayer tucking her button down shirt in as she returned. The brunette had never been one to dress up, but even barefooted and in her dark jeans that clung in all the right places, there was no denying that she looked good. "Hey babe, sorry I couldn't find anything nicer to wear, but…"
Willow shook her head, voice hoarse as she spoke. "Don't - you look amazing…"
The Slayer looked down at herself and back at the witch, expression doubtful. "No contest, Will."
"Whatever," the redhead said, surprised to find herself giggling. "I think you look great." Her head cocked to the side, and she moved forward slowly. Faith tucked her hands in the back pockets of her jeans to keep herself from touching Willow. The witch had obviously put a lot of thought and planning into the evening and she didn't want her overeager hands to knock the night off track.
Willow noticed the move and she rose onto her toes to kiss the Slayer softly. "Is there a reason you're not touching me?" she asked against her girlfriend's lips.
Faith captured her lips firmly as her answer, both hands squeezing denim tightly to stay in place. Willow's hands felt no such restraint and combed through brown curls before sliding down the back of her neck and over her shoulders to rest on the top of her chest.
"Okay, so it's not that you're mad at me," Willow mused breathlessly as the deep, thorough kiss broke.
Faith shook her head, a bit breathless herself. "Don't want to mess up the night."
Willow blinked in surprise and reached around behind Faith to drag both hands out of their hiding spots in her butt pockets. "Honey, kissing me like that will never ruin a night." Faith smirked, obviously pleased, and Willow took her hand to pull her to the table. "You've got to be hungry, right?"
Faith shrugged, nodding. "Pretty much always. What we got tonight?"
"Steaks."
The brunette looked surprised. "I thought you said you didn't cook."
"Xander did it," Willow answered quickly, eyes wide suddenly.
Faith just looked doubtfully at her plate. "Xander made dinner for us? Why would he do that?"
"Because he's my friend and I can't cook and steak's your favorite," the witch said, voice growing higher in pitch. "I helped with the sides."
The Slayer could see her girlfriend's panic coming, and though she didn't know the cause, she reached up to pull the witch into her seat. "Well, cool," she said reassuringly. "It all smells great."
"You want to eat?" Willow asked hopefully, smiling shyly.
"Yeah," Faith agreed. "Let's eat."
The awkward tension left in the wake of Willow's minor panic faded as they dug into their food, conversation pushed in favor of eating. Finally, Willow broke the quiet with small talk, exchanging stories about their days.
It wasn't until she got up to clear their plates and bring their dessert back to the table that Faith brought up her lover's odd behavior throughout the night. "Will, I know something's up. Want to just fill me in?" The redhead's thin shoulders rose around her ears, but she didn't answer. "Is it bad?" Faith asked hesitantly.
"No," Willow said, turning to face her. "I mean, I hope not. Faith, I'm nervous…"
A frown creased the Slayer's face and she stood up from her chair. "Nervous because of me?"
"Kind of," Willow confessed. "But not because of you, exactly. More nervous about what you're going to say."
"Okay," Faith said slowly, not sure what she was missing. "Well, are we pregnant again or something?"
Willow couldn't help laughing at that, shaking her head. "No," she promised. "We're safe."
"Good. I love Jack, but I don't think another one right now would be the best idea we've ever had," Faith admitted.
"I agree."
"Okay, so it's not another baby… do you want to give me a clue?" Faith smirked as Willow giggled again, the Slayer crossing her arms across her chest while she waited with her hips leaned back against the kitchen table.
Willow took a deep breath and held it, staring at her girlfriend for a long moment. "Nope," Willow said as she released her big breath and stepped forward. "Buffy was right. Just got to suck it up and do it." Faith's eyes widened as the witch dropped to her knee directly in front of her.
"Um, what exactly did B tell you to do?" Faith asked, feeling nervous suddenly.
"Not anything like that!" Willow chided sharply, slapping one hand to the brunette's knee. "Faith, I want to marry you. And I want you to want to marry me too." She hadn't intended to lay it out so bluntly, but Faith's innuendo had thrown her off balance. The shock in her partner's face only grew and Willow swallowed hard. It took her a second to realize that the ring she'd picked was still hidden in her pocket and she pulled it out rapidly.
"I know it's simple, but I saw it and it made me think of you and it won't break or anything when you punch things. I'm not sure how much you punch with your left, but I wanted…" Willow stopped her babbling with an obvious effort, hoping she wasn't just imagining the hint of a smile on Faith's lips. "That's not the point. The point is that I want you, Faith. I want you to be my partner for the rest of our lives. And I know you are, or you will be, but I… I just really want to be your wife too." She took a deep breath. "And if that's not something you want, can we just forget this ever happened and just go back to the sexy part of the night?"
Faith let her smile grow, shaking her head in amusement. "Will, how is it that you proposed and the only actual question you asked was if we could go back to the sexy part?" Willow's brow furrowed as she realized that it was true. "But that's definitely what I want," Faith said, relaxing her arms. "The married part," she clarified. And then after a beat, "Actually, both parts. The married and the sexy parts." She gave the witch a teasing smile. "Does that make me greedy?"
Willow bit her lip, smiling hopefully. "If it does then so am I," she admitted. "So… is that a yes?"
"Yes, Willow. I'd love to marry you," Faith answered, both hands reaching down to pull Willow to her feet and up into a kiss. It was slow but deep, Willow curling both arms tightly around her Slayer's waist. Faith let herself touch her girlfriend this time, hands sliding into red hair while tongues gently dueled. "So, do you want your ring now, or what?" Faith asked softly as they slowly separated.
Willow laughed, leaning her head against Faith's shoulder to catch her breath. "I've got a ring?"
"For a while now. I just…after the hospital I figured you didn't want it," Faith said, voice hesitant.
"I freak out," Willow acknowledged. "You stick with me every time, but I freak out and I'm sorry." She poked the Slayer lightly in the side. "If you change your mind about wanting to marry me I'll understand. But you can't leave me. We'll just stay like we are now."
The Slayer shook her head and lifted her left hand. "I think you owe me an engagement ring," she said, hoping the gesture would reassure her witch. Willow blushed and slipped the ring into place. It was simple, made of braided gold and silver with no stone, and Willow peeked at her for a reaction. "Will, I love it."
"I know engagement rings normally have diamonds on them, but with you being the Slayer and hitting stuff I just thought that…"
"You're right," Faith cut in before Willow's babble could really take off. "I'd be breaking it all the time and I'd hate to lose it. This one suits me perfectly. It's great."
"And you're not just going along with me, right?" Willow questioned. "You actually want to get married?"
Faith stayed quiet for a moment, her head leaning against Willow's hair. "Yes, I do, but can we talk? I have a feeling that you won't get past this until we do."
"Okay," Willow agreed, letting Faith's arm around her shoulder steer her back into a seat.
It took the Slayer a few seconds to gather her thoughts, the effort plain on her face, and Willow kept her mouth shut so she wouldn't babble anxiously. "It takes me a while to figure stuff out, you know? We both took a long time to figure out what we are and what we wanted," Faith started. "But we figured it out and we're really solid now." Willow nodded her agreement but didn't speak, just smiling softly as she reached over to take Faith's hand. "And then all that crap happened at the hospital and we were fighting or something and I didn't even know what had happened, really. I hate not feeling solid with you, Will."
Willow's expression was contrite sympathy and she pulled Faith's hand to her lips to kiss the back of it. "I'm sorry," the witch murmured.
"Yeah, me too," Faith agreed. "But I've been thinking about it since I didn't think I could bring it up with you, about why I never wanted to get married, and why it freaked you so much whenever I changed my mind." She glanced away for a second, visibly bracing herself. Willow knew what it meant for Faith to confront her feelings, much less share them with someone else, and she resolved not to do anything to make it harder on her partner to open up. "You know about my mom," Faith continued slowly. "You're the only person that knows about my mom. She never acted like being married was a big deal. Her husbands were disposable to her. And you're…the opposite of disposable - I never wanted to treat you like that."
She sighed. "I can't say I've never treated anyone like that, because I did. I used to. All the time. Hell, when we first started I figured you'd drop me when you got finished with me and I'd go on to the next one." Willow grimaced and Faith shook her head. "I'm not saying it to make you feel bad, Will. I understand what you were going through and I know you needed a way to get out of your head and I was more than happy to be that for you." The comment drew a smile and Faith grinned in response. "But you got in somehow. You're a sneaky little witch, you know that?" Willow laughed softly at that, kissing Faith's hand again. "And I fell for you. I didn't figure on it happening that way, and I know you didn't either judging by how you kept panicking on me," she teased, keeping her tone light. "And I don't blame you for that. I wasn't what you expected and then I got unpredictable right when you got used to things the way they were. And then it happened again after Jack was born and you panicked again. Which is fine…"
"Faith…"
"Shh, I've got this," the Slayer interjected, giving her a wink. "My mom treated marriage like it was temporary. And I never wanted anything else, so it's kind of a miracle I don't have a bunch of Vegas marriage certificates hidden somewhere." Willow scowled at that, squeezing the Slayer's fingers tight. "Which I don't!" she clarified quickly. "Because seeing my mom do it over and over, I knew that's not what it was supposed to be like. It's supposed to be permanent. The one person you want for the rest of your life. And that's you. You're permanent for me, Will." Suddenly blushing, Faith cleared her throat. "And this is way cheesy, so I vote we go back to the sexy part of the night. Engagement calls for some celebration, right?"
Willow knew perfectly well how much sharing that much had taken from her partner, and she nodded without speaking. Instead, she threw her vote in with Faith's and demonstrated it by rising from her seat to straddle her fiancée in her chair. Faith kissed her promptly, free hand sliding over the skirt she enjoyed so much. Cupping the witch's butt, she stood up and started carrying them up the stairs. "B's giving us this skirt as a present, okay?" she breathed, not waiting for an answer before she was kissing Willow again.
They hit the wall next to their bedroom door, Willow's hand scrambling blindly for the doorknob since she didn't want to break the kiss to look for it. They stumbled through when she succeeded in getting it open, the witch gasping for breath as they collided with the side of the dresser. "Faith," she said, giggling. "Aim, babe. Bed, not the dresser."
"I know what I'm doing," Faith said in between kisses to her lover's freckled neck. "Just…give me a minute." One hand shifted to hold Willow up, the witch's legs tight around her waist, while the other scrambled for a drawer.
"That's hot," Willow moaned, exploring the Slayer's neck with her lips. "Faith…"
"Patience," the brunette growled, gasping herself as Willow's legs squeezed her middle tightly. "We're doing this right."
Willow's head rocked back on her neck, a frustrated groan escaping. "I don't even know what that's supposed to mean!" she complained, breathing hard against Faith's skin.
"It means trust me," Faith advised her, finding what she was looking for and lifting it into the space next to her face. "See?"
Willow lifted her head from its spot, losing her breath as she caught sight of the item pinched in between Faith's fingers. "Faith, it's beautiful…" The ring was white gold, tiny stones on either side of the central diamond.
"You really like it?" Faith questioned. "B helped me pick it out."
Willow blinked as she lifted her hand up so Faith could put the ring on her finger. "Wait, what? Buffy knew this whole time that you had this?"
Faith nodded, not sure about her partner's reaction. "Um, yeah… Why? I picked this one, but I don't do stuff like this, so I wanted a second opinion, and B's known you a lot longer than me, and she's your best friend…"
"She let me freak out for weeks!" Willow complained. "She didn't say a thing!"
Faith laughed, eyes studying the effect of the ring on Willow's hand before she lifted her own to display them together. "She knows I'd have kicked her ass if she'd told on me." She craned in to kiss the witch, speaking against her lips. "And you have no idea how long I've had that ring in here," she admitted.
Willow smiled, kissing her slowly and letting her hands slid into Faith's hair. "Do you want to tell me?"
"Nope," Faith answered promptly. "It doesn't matter anymore. We've got better things to do."
Willow grinned widely, nodding as Faith started moving them backwards again. She couldn't see where they were going, but she trusted the Slayer to get them there.
[part 13 here]