[fic] something to talk about pt 3
Title: Something to Talk About pt III
Rating: PG/PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue...
Summary: Faith is injured and Willow has to face some facts...
Buffy could feel the blood running down the back of her neck, as well as sliding down her cheek as she walked slowly up the front steps into her house. A blink sent it into her eye and she growled in frustration. The doctors hadn’t wanted to let her leave the hospital, but she needed to find Willow before she could rest again. She was limping, her ankle throbbing, and it didn’t look like the witch was on the ground floor of the house. She surveyed the stairs, but her battered body couldn’t muster the energy to climb them.
“Willow!”
The hoarse call brought immediate results, the redhead rushing downstairs. “Buffy, I was looking fo-…what happened to you?” the witch questioned, steadying her friend. She’d come to the house looking for the two elder Slayers after having gotten finished with training and being unable to find either one of them. And the sight of her best friend, the strongest Slayer in the world, beaten and bloody, was immediately scary. And Faith wasn’t there at all…
“Demons,” the Slayer answered simply. “That’s not what… I’ll be fine,” she said. “I’ve already been in the hospital. I need to tell you something, Will.”
The way she said it made Willow’s blood run cold, her hand stiffening and squeezing her friend’s wrist. “What? She’s not…” They both knew what the witch was asking and Buffy shook her head.
“She’s not dead,” she said reassuringly. “And she’s not going to… It’s not good though, Willow… You need to get to the hospital as soon as you can. She’s been asking for you.”
The witch looked anxious and distracted, but she nodded as she focused on her best friend. “Are you coming back to the hospital with me?” The Slayer took a deep breath, but it caused a wince and she nodded. “Good,” Willow said, curling a supportive arm around the blonde’s waist. “Let’s go.” She was keeping her calm, but Buffy could feel her friend’s anxiety right below the surface.
Willow had barely gotten Buffy onto a gurney before she was rushing to find Faith’s room. There were a few others in the ward with her, but they were all too out of it to notice her bursting in. Faith looked over though, her head rolling against the pillows, and she mustered a weak smile. “There you are,” she said tiredly, coughing. “B said she was going to get you, before…”
“You are not going to die,” Willow hissed between gritted teeth as she leaned over the bedside. She met the Slayer’s brown eyes straight on. “You hear me?”
Faith shifted against the stiff hospital sheets, a groan of pain slipping out as she laughed. “Someone’s bossy today,” she joked. “I wish I could take advantage.”
“You can wait,” Willow said, marveling that the Slayer could speak at all under the mass of bruises on her face. “Where the hell were you? Why didn’t you take me with you if it was going to be dangerous?”
Faith frowned lightly, brow furrowing underneath the puffy swollenness. “Because it was so dangerous,” she said, obviously thinking that it should have been plain. “Better me than you.”
“I could have helped you, Faith!” Willow responded, struggling to keep her voice down when she was suddenly so angry. “Buffy’s my best friend! And you…” she trailed off uncertainly, still not comfortable putting what she had with Faith into traditional terms. “Neither one of you said anything to me! I would have gone with you!”
Faith coughed and Willow couldn’t help relenting, holding a cup of water in position for her to drink. She was breathing hard when she finished her drink, but splinted fingers caught Willow’s wrist. “I’ll live,” she stated, but her voice was weak and the visuals were less than convincing.
“Maybe not after I get you home,” Willow warned her, eyes narrowing. “And Buffy…!”
Faith laughed, the sound becoming a wheezing cough. “As long as I’m not the only one in trouble…”
“You should have taken me with you!” Willow said, teeth grinding. “She should have gotten me. You should have gotten me!”
“It was dangerous, babe. I didn’t want to get you hurt,” Faith protested.
“That doesn’t matter, Faith! I’m the leader of the Wicca teams! I should have been consulted before either one of you went in! You deliberately cut me out!”
“Are you trying to pull rank on me?” Faith asked in disbelief, pushing herself up against the pillows with a restrained groan of pain. “Because we can play that game, Rosenberg!” The movement made her monitor beep faster, and the bandage on her forehead grew dark with fresh blood.
A nurse responded to the machine’s summons and Willow had to back off, her annoyance wilting as she took stock again of Faith’s many injuries. “What all is wrong with her?” she asked the nurse, knowing that Faith would just make a joke if the question was directed at her.
The nurse consulted her chart, reading. “Two cracked ribs on the right side, another two on the left. Fracture in the left femur. Three broken fingers in the right hand. Severe lacerations all over. Four stitches were required for the cut over her eye. And a concussion,” she ended.
“Of course,” Willow murmured, glaring over the professional’s shoulder at the Slayer. “With all of these injuries, how long is the expected healing time?”
“Oh, she’ll be in casts for several weeks,” the nurse said promptly. “Given the extent of the breaks, at least eight.”
Faith shook her head from behind the nurse, immediately dismissing that diagnosis. Willow’s eyes pinned her and the witch could feel her anger return. If the Slayer hadn’t been foolhardy and cocky, she wouldn’t be in here at all. “Thank you,” she said, dismissing the nurse.
“How pissed are you?” Faith asked after the silent staring match dragged on and started to make her uncomfortable. Willow didn’t answer, just glared, and she took a deep breath, ignoring the shooting pain that sent through her chest. “Okay, so…pretty damn pissed.” Willow nodded, arms crossing over her chest. “Okay, that’s fair, but just remember…”
“Don’t tell me that you won’t take that long to recover,” Willow interjected heatedly. “The point is, Faith, that you left me behind in some misguided attempt to protect me and ended up nearly getting yourself killed!”
“We got the demon,” Faith pointed out. Willow’s eyes narrowed, only slightly comforted by the news.
“You could have died,” Willow hissed at her, realizing that her fists were shaking at her sides.
Faith let her own reactionary instincts take over, letting herself get mad in response. “And why’s that piss you off so much?” she demanded. “I did what I thought was the best move. To keep you safe! Because you being in this bed instead of me would have killed me!” Willow didn’t have a response to that and Faith continued. “I made a promise to take care of you. Whatever that takes, I’m going to do it,” she stated. “And I don’t care if you’re mad at me about it.”
Willow was still angry, anxious worry becoming annoyance at her partner’s stubbornness. “You don’t have to protect me, Faith!”
“But I’m going to!” the Slayer shot back without thinking. “You’re not invested in this, in us, but I am!”
Willow blinked, completely stunned by the honest confession. She knew she’d held back from their relationship, scared of giving into how she felt about the Slayer, but she had no idea that it had hurt Faith like it obviously had. “Faith…”
“No,” she protested. “I didn’t…don’t say anything…” Faith was granted a reprieve as Buffy joined them. “On your feet already, B?” Willow was silent, mouth hanging open. “I might not be so lucky.”
Buffy frowned, one hand on her fellow Slayer’s shoulder. “Why not? You already look better than when I left. If they don’t release you in the next day or so, the doctors are going to get pretty suspicious.”
“It’s not the doctors I’m worried about,” Faith said, eyes shooting up toward Willow.
Buffy looked between the pair, still frowning. “Did something happen here?” she asked slowly. “Will?”
“I’ve gotta go,” the witch said dully, backpedaling blindly.
The Slayers were left staring after her and Buffy cleared her throat. “What happened, Faith?” She tried to keep her voice from being accusatory, not wanting to be judging until she got a clue about what had happened.
Faith frowned, hitting the heel of her hand against her forehead only to groan when she hit a bandage on her face. “I’m in love with her, Buffy,” she confessed, eyes closed as she waited for a reaction. None came and she cracked open one eye hesitantly.
“Am I supposed to be surprised by that not unknown bombshell?” Buffy questioned, arching an eyebrow at her with a slow smile.
“She was,” Faith said quietly.
Buffy’s eyes widened and her smile faded as she looked between Faith and the door where Willow had departed so suddenly. “Faith… I’m sorry. I’ll talk to her.”
“No. I didn’t exactly say it. I just…implied that I was more invested in our whatever than she is,” Faith said, knowing exactly why Willow had run. They’d been together for six months, but the redhead had yet to acknowledge Faith as her girlfriend, or admit to being serious about their relationship. That didn’t mean that she wasn’t affectionate with her partner, or that it wasn’t clear to everyone else how the pair felt about each other. It appeared to just be something that Willow wasn’t prepared to say.
“That might not have been your best move,” Buffy conceded with a laugh. “I’ll go after her.”
Faith shook her head, shifting with a groan. “No. I’ll deal with it when I get out of here.” She swallowed hard. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” Buffy took a seat next to the bed, trying to be supportive. “I’ve been trying to give her time, space, everything she wants, but I know she’s not going to love me.”
Buffy frowned, leaning forward with elbows on her knees. “She’s scared, Faith. You’ve been really patient with her, but just give her a little more time. Will’s been through a lot. And I didn’t really think so at the beginning, but you’re good for her. Don’t let her push you away, though.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Faith stated. “She’s not getting rid of me unless she can actually bring herself to acknowledge our whatever enough to dump my ass.”
Buffy grinned ruefully, clapping Faith’s shoulder without thinking. “Good.” She grimaced as Faith groaned. “Sorry about that.”
“No worries,” Faith wheezed, trying to shake it off. “I’ll be out of here tomorrow.”
“What about what the doctors said?”
The Slayer shook her head, determined. “You know how it is for us,” she said. “I’ll get out of here first thing in the morning.”
Buffy gave her a nod. “Do you want me to talk to Will?”
Faith considered. Having Buffy on her side would only help her case with Willow. She finally shook her head. “No. Thanks though. I want to talk to her myself.”
The blonde nodded again, smiling as she stood up. “You got it. Sorry if us going out without her started this.”
“It was coming up anyway. We were due for a fight,” Faith said with a shrug. “I’ll take care of it.”
Buffy turned to go, hesitating in the doorway. “Make her cry and I might have to make you bleed.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Faith said with a tired laugh. “It’s not part of my plan, though.”
*****
Faith was moving slowly as she mounted the stairs to her apartment, one side braced on a crutch and her fingers fumbled with the key as she entered. There was movement in the bedroom and Willow appeared with one of Faith’s rolled t-shirts in her hands. She dropped it as soon as she saw Faith, moving to help her immediately. “What are you doing here?” the witch demanded.
“What are you doing here?” Faith countered, limping as Willow led her to the couch. She caught sight of the open duffle on her bed and she frowned. “You leaving me?” she asked, groaning as she tried to relax into the seat.
Willow looked surprised, glancing over her shoulder toward the bedroom. “What? No! I was… They’re your clothes. I was going to bring them to you at the hospital.”
“Oh,” Faith said, letting out a deep breath. “Well, they sprung me,” she said unnecessarily.
Willow fussed with the crutch, obviously uncomfortable. “Oh, good. Do you need anything? Can I do anything for you?” she chattered nervously.
Faith sighed, looking up at her. “If you’re going to leave, just tell me,” she said, voice rough. “I might not look like it right now, but I can handle it. I’m going to have to insist that you actually say it, though, Will. You can’t just walk out and never come back.”
“I’m not leaving!” Willow protested. “You scared the hell out of me, Faith! I thought you were going to die!” She could feel the tears start, but couldn’t stop them. “I thought you were going to die and I can’t do it again! I love Tara and she gets killed. I love you and you don’t come home and then Buffy tells me to get to the hospital… I can’t do it again, Faith! I can’t stand by and watch someone else I love die!” She poked the Slayer in the middle of the chest, caught up in her overwhelming emotional reaction. “You should have told me where you were going!”
Willow spun away from her, sobbing bitterly as she tried to regain control of herself. Faith pushed herself up slowly, moving gingerly. Her broken hand was splinted, but she wrapped it around Willow’s waist from behind, the redhead breathing hard. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Shh…”
“Don’t shush me,” Willow ordered, swallowing deep bursts of air as she tried to calm down. “Faith…”
“I’m not sushing you, baby. I’m trying to take care of you. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Well, you did!” She spun back around to face her, and Faith kept both arms curled around her to keep her from either running away or hitting her again. “You scared me, Faith. I thought I was going to lose you.”
“And apparently you love me,” Faith pointed out thoughtlessly and causing Willow to stiffen in her arms. “Oh, jeez, I didn’t mean that! You weren’t thinking, and it just came out. It doesn’t mean anything…”
Willow frowned against her neck, dropping her arms and stepping back out of Faith’s grip. Her expression was guarded and Faith sighed heavily. “You…”
“I can’t say anything right anymore!” the Slayer complained. “I’m not trying to push you, Willow.”
Willow shoved her back, glaring through reddened eyes. “You think I don’t care about you?” she demanded, one hand rubbing the tears from her cheeks.
Faith wobbled on the edge of the couch and fell back with a groan of pain. “You care about me,” she said through gritted teeth. “I know that. And I’m being honest, Willow - I’m not trying to push you to anything.” She grimaced, pushing herself up. “But you…I’ve never felt…whether or not you love me, I love you.” She wasn’t looking at Willow anymore, eyes skittering across the floor, walls, ceiling, anywhere to avoid the rejection she was expecting. Willow wasn’t ready for this. Willow couldn’t love her. She had a great thing going, but here she was opening her mouth and ruining it.
Which is why she was surprised when Willow landed on her lap, the witch locking eyes with her. “I’m sorry if I just hurt you, but I need you to listen to me,” she said quickly, taking a moment to shift her weight carefully so she wasn’t pressing Faith’s injured leg. “I know I haven’t been really open with you, and it’s not fair. But it’s not your fault - it’s me, it’s my issue!”
“Willow, you don’t have to make excuses with me. You lost the person you love…” Faith tried to let her off the hook, sure she was about to lose the person she loved.
“I did, and it’s taken me a long time to deal with it and you’ve been so patient with me, Faith. But I think I’ve finally figured something out. Buffy’s been trying to tell me, and you’ve been trying to avoid it in your attempt not to push me, but I’ve got it now. I love you. It’s different than with Tara, and Tara was different than Oz, but that’s not a bad thing! It’s just a different thing! I mean, you - you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for, smarter than you want people to know you are,” she said with a grin. “And you know you’re gorgeous,” she continued, voice lower. Faith couldn’t help laughing, one hand covering her injured ribs. “And you’re funny! And strong. And you don’t take crap from people. And you…”
Faith stopped her with another laugh, curling an arm around her shoulders gingerly. “I think I get the picture,” she said weakly, tired. “And you can add to that list of yours that I’m not one to get too sentimental, so can I just say it back and go to bed? I’m beat, babe.” Willow nodded, biting her lip as she started to climb carefully off the Slayer’s legs. Faith caught her before she could move, drawing a questioning look from the witch. “You don’t gotta run off,” Faith said quietly. “And I didn’t even say it yet…”
“You look like you’re going to faint, Faith,” Willow told her. “Let’s get you up,” she said, trying again to get off of her.
“Not yet,” Faith said petulantly, broken hand on her partner’s thigh to keep her from going. Willow stilled, smiling softly down at her. Faith drew in a deep breath, visually bracing herself, almost as if she was preparing herself for a battle.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Willow said quietly. “Not anymore. But you don’t have to say it.” She leaned forward and kissed her, balancing her weight carefully on her knees. The kiss was slow, Willow curling both hands gingerly into Faith’s hair. The Slayer’s eyes stayed closed as the kiss ended, Willow getting to her feet slowly. It was clear that Faith wasn’t going to be able to move far, the brunette breathing deeply as Willow kissed her forehead. “Come on,” she whispered, hands moving the Slayer’s crutch out of the way. “Let’s lay you down,” she coaxed, helping her partner stretch out on the sofa. One hand found the blanket spread across the back, the blanket she’d bought to bring some color into Faith’s mostly drab living room, and she spread it out over the injured and bruised Slayer.
Faith stretched as best she could under the cover, eyes still closed, and her breathing starting to steady as she drifted closer and closer to the edge of sleep. Willow started to stand up, surprised when Faith’s broken hand found her wrist. “Will…stay,” she requested slowly, voice barely audible.
The witch leaned over to press another kiss to her forehead, smiling against her skin as the Slayer let out a sigh. “I love you, Faith,” Willow whispered. It felt weird for a split second and then Faith’s head was rolling back slowly, brown eyes blinking up at her, and she let out the breath she didn’t realize that she’d been holding. Faith picked up her broken arm carefully, giving Willow room to slip under the blanket with her. The Slayer curled the injured limb across her hip gingerly, letting the witch tuck the covers around them. They were both silent and still for several minutes, relaxing into each other.
Faith waited until there could be no mistaking her words, saying it softly into Willow’s ear. They weren’t words she’d ever said to anyone else, at least not that she could remember. And they’d never meant anything until now. Willow didn’t say it back, they both knew that this wasn’t going to be the big, sweeping, emotional moment when the music swelled and their relationship became some ‘sharing and caring’ thing that they’d both been trying to avoid. Instead, she just let her eyes close, warm under the blankets and with Faith’s body solid and steady behind her.
They were who they were, and this was what it was. Before this whatever-it-was had started, she’d have told anyone who suggested that she’d fall in love with Faith that they might want to have their heads examined, but now…
It was different, and definitely wasn’t what she’d expected from Faith - from being with Faith, but it was good. That’s all it had to be.
[part 4 here]
Rating: PG/PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue...
Summary: Faith is injured and Willow has to face some facts...
Buffy could feel the blood running down the back of her neck, as well as sliding down her cheek as she walked slowly up the front steps into her house. A blink sent it into her eye and she growled in frustration. The doctors hadn’t wanted to let her leave the hospital, but she needed to find Willow before she could rest again. She was limping, her ankle throbbing, and it didn’t look like the witch was on the ground floor of the house. She surveyed the stairs, but her battered body couldn’t muster the energy to climb them.
“Willow!”
The hoarse call brought immediate results, the redhead rushing downstairs. “Buffy, I was looking fo-…what happened to you?” the witch questioned, steadying her friend. She’d come to the house looking for the two elder Slayers after having gotten finished with training and being unable to find either one of them. And the sight of her best friend, the strongest Slayer in the world, beaten and bloody, was immediately scary. And Faith wasn’t there at all…
“Demons,” the Slayer answered simply. “That’s not what… I’ll be fine,” she said. “I’ve already been in the hospital. I need to tell you something, Will.”
The way she said it made Willow’s blood run cold, her hand stiffening and squeezing her friend’s wrist. “What? She’s not…” They both knew what the witch was asking and Buffy shook her head.
“She’s not dead,” she said reassuringly. “And she’s not going to… It’s not good though, Willow… You need to get to the hospital as soon as you can. She’s been asking for you.”
The witch looked anxious and distracted, but she nodded as she focused on her best friend. “Are you coming back to the hospital with me?” The Slayer took a deep breath, but it caused a wince and she nodded. “Good,” Willow said, curling a supportive arm around the blonde’s waist. “Let’s go.” She was keeping her calm, but Buffy could feel her friend’s anxiety right below the surface.
Willow had barely gotten Buffy onto a gurney before she was rushing to find Faith’s room. There were a few others in the ward with her, but they were all too out of it to notice her bursting in. Faith looked over though, her head rolling against the pillows, and she mustered a weak smile. “There you are,” she said tiredly, coughing. “B said she was going to get you, before…”
“You are not going to die,” Willow hissed between gritted teeth as she leaned over the bedside. She met the Slayer’s brown eyes straight on. “You hear me?”
Faith shifted against the stiff hospital sheets, a groan of pain slipping out as she laughed. “Someone’s bossy today,” she joked. “I wish I could take advantage.”
“You can wait,” Willow said, marveling that the Slayer could speak at all under the mass of bruises on her face. “Where the hell were you? Why didn’t you take me with you if it was going to be dangerous?”
Faith frowned lightly, brow furrowing underneath the puffy swollenness. “Because it was so dangerous,” she said, obviously thinking that it should have been plain. “Better me than you.”
“I could have helped you, Faith!” Willow responded, struggling to keep her voice down when she was suddenly so angry. “Buffy’s my best friend! And you…” she trailed off uncertainly, still not comfortable putting what she had with Faith into traditional terms. “Neither one of you said anything to me! I would have gone with you!”
Faith coughed and Willow couldn’t help relenting, holding a cup of water in position for her to drink. She was breathing hard when she finished her drink, but splinted fingers caught Willow’s wrist. “I’ll live,” she stated, but her voice was weak and the visuals were less than convincing.
“Maybe not after I get you home,” Willow warned her, eyes narrowing. “And Buffy…!”
Faith laughed, the sound becoming a wheezing cough. “As long as I’m not the only one in trouble…”
“You should have taken me with you!” Willow said, teeth grinding. “She should have gotten me. You should have gotten me!”
“It was dangerous, babe. I didn’t want to get you hurt,” Faith protested.
“That doesn’t matter, Faith! I’m the leader of the Wicca teams! I should have been consulted before either one of you went in! You deliberately cut me out!”
“Are you trying to pull rank on me?” Faith asked in disbelief, pushing herself up against the pillows with a restrained groan of pain. “Because we can play that game, Rosenberg!” The movement made her monitor beep faster, and the bandage on her forehead grew dark with fresh blood.
A nurse responded to the machine’s summons and Willow had to back off, her annoyance wilting as she took stock again of Faith’s many injuries. “What all is wrong with her?” she asked the nurse, knowing that Faith would just make a joke if the question was directed at her.
The nurse consulted her chart, reading. “Two cracked ribs on the right side, another two on the left. Fracture in the left femur. Three broken fingers in the right hand. Severe lacerations all over. Four stitches were required for the cut over her eye. And a concussion,” she ended.
“Of course,” Willow murmured, glaring over the professional’s shoulder at the Slayer. “With all of these injuries, how long is the expected healing time?”
“Oh, she’ll be in casts for several weeks,” the nurse said promptly. “Given the extent of the breaks, at least eight.”
Faith shook her head from behind the nurse, immediately dismissing that diagnosis. Willow’s eyes pinned her and the witch could feel her anger return. If the Slayer hadn’t been foolhardy and cocky, she wouldn’t be in here at all. “Thank you,” she said, dismissing the nurse.
“How pissed are you?” Faith asked after the silent staring match dragged on and started to make her uncomfortable. Willow didn’t answer, just glared, and she took a deep breath, ignoring the shooting pain that sent through her chest. “Okay, so…pretty damn pissed.” Willow nodded, arms crossing over her chest. “Okay, that’s fair, but just remember…”
“Don’t tell me that you won’t take that long to recover,” Willow interjected heatedly. “The point is, Faith, that you left me behind in some misguided attempt to protect me and ended up nearly getting yourself killed!”
“We got the demon,” Faith pointed out. Willow’s eyes narrowed, only slightly comforted by the news.
“You could have died,” Willow hissed at her, realizing that her fists were shaking at her sides.
Faith let her own reactionary instincts take over, letting herself get mad in response. “And why’s that piss you off so much?” she demanded. “I did what I thought was the best move. To keep you safe! Because you being in this bed instead of me would have killed me!” Willow didn’t have a response to that and Faith continued. “I made a promise to take care of you. Whatever that takes, I’m going to do it,” she stated. “And I don’t care if you’re mad at me about it.”
Willow was still angry, anxious worry becoming annoyance at her partner’s stubbornness. “You don’t have to protect me, Faith!”
“But I’m going to!” the Slayer shot back without thinking. “You’re not invested in this, in us, but I am!”
Willow blinked, completely stunned by the honest confession. She knew she’d held back from their relationship, scared of giving into how she felt about the Slayer, but she had no idea that it had hurt Faith like it obviously had. “Faith…”
“No,” she protested. “I didn’t…don’t say anything…” Faith was granted a reprieve as Buffy joined them. “On your feet already, B?” Willow was silent, mouth hanging open. “I might not be so lucky.”
Buffy frowned, one hand on her fellow Slayer’s shoulder. “Why not? You already look better than when I left. If they don’t release you in the next day or so, the doctors are going to get pretty suspicious.”
“It’s not the doctors I’m worried about,” Faith said, eyes shooting up toward Willow.
Buffy looked between the pair, still frowning. “Did something happen here?” she asked slowly. “Will?”
“I’ve gotta go,” the witch said dully, backpedaling blindly.
The Slayers were left staring after her and Buffy cleared her throat. “What happened, Faith?” She tried to keep her voice from being accusatory, not wanting to be judging until she got a clue about what had happened.
Faith frowned, hitting the heel of her hand against her forehead only to groan when she hit a bandage on her face. “I’m in love with her, Buffy,” she confessed, eyes closed as she waited for a reaction. None came and she cracked open one eye hesitantly.
“Am I supposed to be surprised by that not unknown bombshell?” Buffy questioned, arching an eyebrow at her with a slow smile.
“She was,” Faith said quietly.
Buffy’s eyes widened and her smile faded as she looked between Faith and the door where Willow had departed so suddenly. “Faith… I’m sorry. I’ll talk to her.”
“No. I didn’t exactly say it. I just…implied that I was more invested in our whatever than she is,” Faith said, knowing exactly why Willow had run. They’d been together for six months, but the redhead had yet to acknowledge Faith as her girlfriend, or admit to being serious about their relationship. That didn’t mean that she wasn’t affectionate with her partner, or that it wasn’t clear to everyone else how the pair felt about each other. It appeared to just be something that Willow wasn’t prepared to say.
“That might not have been your best move,” Buffy conceded with a laugh. “I’ll go after her.”
Faith shook her head, shifting with a groan. “No. I’ll deal with it when I get out of here.” She swallowed hard. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” Buffy took a seat next to the bed, trying to be supportive. “I’ve been trying to give her time, space, everything she wants, but I know she’s not going to love me.”
Buffy frowned, leaning forward with elbows on her knees. “She’s scared, Faith. You’ve been really patient with her, but just give her a little more time. Will’s been through a lot. And I didn’t really think so at the beginning, but you’re good for her. Don’t let her push you away, though.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Faith stated. “She’s not getting rid of me unless she can actually bring herself to acknowledge our whatever enough to dump my ass.”
Buffy grinned ruefully, clapping Faith’s shoulder without thinking. “Good.” She grimaced as Faith groaned. “Sorry about that.”
“No worries,” Faith wheezed, trying to shake it off. “I’ll be out of here tomorrow.”
“What about what the doctors said?”
The Slayer shook her head, determined. “You know how it is for us,” she said. “I’ll get out of here first thing in the morning.”
Buffy gave her a nod. “Do you want me to talk to Will?”
Faith considered. Having Buffy on her side would only help her case with Willow. She finally shook her head. “No. Thanks though. I want to talk to her myself.”
The blonde nodded again, smiling as she stood up. “You got it. Sorry if us going out without her started this.”
“It was coming up anyway. We were due for a fight,” Faith said with a shrug. “I’ll take care of it.”
Buffy turned to go, hesitating in the doorway. “Make her cry and I might have to make you bleed.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Faith said with a tired laugh. “It’s not part of my plan, though.”
*****
Faith was moving slowly as she mounted the stairs to her apartment, one side braced on a crutch and her fingers fumbled with the key as she entered. There was movement in the bedroom and Willow appeared with one of Faith’s rolled t-shirts in her hands. She dropped it as soon as she saw Faith, moving to help her immediately. “What are you doing here?” the witch demanded.
“What are you doing here?” Faith countered, limping as Willow led her to the couch. She caught sight of the open duffle on her bed and she frowned. “You leaving me?” she asked, groaning as she tried to relax into the seat.
Willow looked surprised, glancing over her shoulder toward the bedroom. “What? No! I was… They’re your clothes. I was going to bring them to you at the hospital.”
“Oh,” Faith said, letting out a deep breath. “Well, they sprung me,” she said unnecessarily.
Willow fussed with the crutch, obviously uncomfortable. “Oh, good. Do you need anything? Can I do anything for you?” she chattered nervously.
Faith sighed, looking up at her. “If you’re going to leave, just tell me,” she said, voice rough. “I might not look like it right now, but I can handle it. I’m going to have to insist that you actually say it, though, Will. You can’t just walk out and never come back.”
“I’m not leaving!” Willow protested. “You scared the hell out of me, Faith! I thought you were going to die!” She could feel the tears start, but couldn’t stop them. “I thought you were going to die and I can’t do it again! I love Tara and she gets killed. I love you and you don’t come home and then Buffy tells me to get to the hospital… I can’t do it again, Faith! I can’t stand by and watch someone else I love die!” She poked the Slayer in the middle of the chest, caught up in her overwhelming emotional reaction. “You should have told me where you were going!”
Willow spun away from her, sobbing bitterly as she tried to regain control of herself. Faith pushed herself up slowly, moving gingerly. Her broken hand was splinted, but she wrapped it around Willow’s waist from behind, the redhead breathing hard. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Shh…”
“Don’t shush me,” Willow ordered, swallowing deep bursts of air as she tried to calm down. “Faith…”
“I’m not sushing you, baby. I’m trying to take care of you. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Well, you did!” She spun back around to face her, and Faith kept both arms curled around her to keep her from either running away or hitting her again. “You scared me, Faith. I thought I was going to lose you.”
“And apparently you love me,” Faith pointed out thoughtlessly and causing Willow to stiffen in her arms. “Oh, jeez, I didn’t mean that! You weren’t thinking, and it just came out. It doesn’t mean anything…”
Willow frowned against her neck, dropping her arms and stepping back out of Faith’s grip. Her expression was guarded and Faith sighed heavily. “You…”
“I can’t say anything right anymore!” the Slayer complained. “I’m not trying to push you, Willow.”
Willow shoved her back, glaring through reddened eyes. “You think I don’t care about you?” she demanded, one hand rubbing the tears from her cheeks.
Faith wobbled on the edge of the couch and fell back with a groan of pain. “You care about me,” she said through gritted teeth. “I know that. And I’m being honest, Willow - I’m not trying to push you to anything.” She grimaced, pushing herself up. “But you…I’ve never felt…whether or not you love me, I love you.” She wasn’t looking at Willow anymore, eyes skittering across the floor, walls, ceiling, anywhere to avoid the rejection she was expecting. Willow wasn’t ready for this. Willow couldn’t love her. She had a great thing going, but here she was opening her mouth and ruining it.
Which is why she was surprised when Willow landed on her lap, the witch locking eyes with her. “I’m sorry if I just hurt you, but I need you to listen to me,” she said quickly, taking a moment to shift her weight carefully so she wasn’t pressing Faith’s injured leg. “I know I haven’t been really open with you, and it’s not fair. But it’s not your fault - it’s me, it’s my issue!”
“Willow, you don’t have to make excuses with me. You lost the person you love…” Faith tried to let her off the hook, sure she was about to lose the person she loved.
“I did, and it’s taken me a long time to deal with it and you’ve been so patient with me, Faith. But I think I’ve finally figured something out. Buffy’s been trying to tell me, and you’ve been trying to avoid it in your attempt not to push me, but I’ve got it now. I love you. It’s different than with Tara, and Tara was different than Oz, but that’s not a bad thing! It’s just a different thing! I mean, you - you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for, smarter than you want people to know you are,” she said with a grin. “And you know you’re gorgeous,” she continued, voice lower. Faith couldn’t help laughing, one hand covering her injured ribs. “And you’re funny! And strong. And you don’t take crap from people. And you…”
Faith stopped her with another laugh, curling an arm around her shoulders gingerly. “I think I get the picture,” she said weakly, tired. “And you can add to that list of yours that I’m not one to get too sentimental, so can I just say it back and go to bed? I’m beat, babe.” Willow nodded, biting her lip as she started to climb carefully off the Slayer’s legs. Faith caught her before she could move, drawing a questioning look from the witch. “You don’t gotta run off,” Faith said quietly. “And I didn’t even say it yet…”
“You look like you’re going to faint, Faith,” Willow told her. “Let’s get you up,” she said, trying again to get off of her.
“Not yet,” Faith said petulantly, broken hand on her partner’s thigh to keep her from going. Willow stilled, smiling softly down at her. Faith drew in a deep breath, visually bracing herself, almost as if she was preparing herself for a battle.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Willow said quietly. “Not anymore. But you don’t have to say it.” She leaned forward and kissed her, balancing her weight carefully on her knees. The kiss was slow, Willow curling both hands gingerly into Faith’s hair. The Slayer’s eyes stayed closed as the kiss ended, Willow getting to her feet slowly. It was clear that Faith wasn’t going to be able to move far, the brunette breathing deeply as Willow kissed her forehead. “Come on,” she whispered, hands moving the Slayer’s crutch out of the way. “Let’s lay you down,” she coaxed, helping her partner stretch out on the sofa. One hand found the blanket spread across the back, the blanket she’d bought to bring some color into Faith’s mostly drab living room, and she spread it out over the injured and bruised Slayer.
Faith stretched as best she could under the cover, eyes still closed, and her breathing starting to steady as she drifted closer and closer to the edge of sleep. Willow started to stand up, surprised when Faith’s broken hand found her wrist. “Will…stay,” she requested slowly, voice barely audible.
The witch leaned over to press another kiss to her forehead, smiling against her skin as the Slayer let out a sigh. “I love you, Faith,” Willow whispered. It felt weird for a split second and then Faith’s head was rolling back slowly, brown eyes blinking up at her, and she let out the breath she didn’t realize that she’d been holding. Faith picked up her broken arm carefully, giving Willow room to slip under the blanket with her. The Slayer curled the injured limb across her hip gingerly, letting the witch tuck the covers around them. They were both silent and still for several minutes, relaxing into each other.
Faith waited until there could be no mistaking her words, saying it softly into Willow’s ear. They weren’t words she’d ever said to anyone else, at least not that she could remember. And they’d never meant anything until now. Willow didn’t say it back, they both knew that this wasn’t going to be the big, sweeping, emotional moment when the music swelled and their relationship became some ‘sharing and caring’ thing that they’d both been trying to avoid. Instead, she just let her eyes close, warm under the blankets and with Faith’s body solid and steady behind her.
They were who they were, and this was what it was. Before this whatever-it-was had started, she’d have told anyone who suggested that she’d fall in love with Faith that they might want to have their heads examined, but now…
It was different, and definitely wasn’t what she’d expected from Faith - from being with Faith, but it was good. That’s all it had to be.
[part 4 here]