I will take that bitch down
You know those annoying middle-aged people in your classes? The ones that think they're so much smarter than 20-something-year-old you because they have all that life experience? The ones that think that if it hasn't been in the established university curriculum since at least 50 years before any living individual was born, then it isn't worth studying?
There was one such woman in my Shakespeare class. Got a bad vibe from her from day one. I must be prophetic.
Yesterday she treated us all to her presentation on As You Like It; she was performing Jacques' famous soliloquy (The "All the world's a stage..." one about the seven ages of man), and explicating how she would stage it. She said that she would cast Alan Rickman.
Good call. Nothing wrong so far.
She pointed out a few highlights of Rickman's career, including his views on Shakespeare and some of his recent roles; i.e. Professor Snape. Reading from her little paper, she informed us that he's currently appearing in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Love Actually. (Did you know that? I didn't. I was under the impression that time was, in fact, marching on as always.) But that's not the point.
We pointed out that he was also in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in a role very similar to the one she was suggesting for him. She had never heard of it, and didn't care to. But that's not the point, either.
And so she concluded her presentation on the many virtues of Alan Rickman (none of which do I hold issue with), by commenting that given his genius, "It makes you wonder why he would play something like" (and here she assumed something of a condescending sneer) "Professor Snape."
Then I launched across the room and BIT HER. And shrieked, "Bitch, you did NOT just talk smack about Alan Rickman as Severus Snape, AND about Harry Potter in general, in a SINGLE SENTENCE!"
Or else I just led the rest of the class in decrying her. Something. I don't really remember.
Maybe because of the horse tranquilizer dart they had to shoot into my neck to get me off her.
Incidentally, losing consciousness isn't as bad as it sounds. Kinda nice to feel all your troubles melt away...
**
There was one such woman in my Shakespeare class. Got a bad vibe from her from day one. I must be prophetic.
Yesterday she treated us all to her presentation on As You Like It; she was performing Jacques' famous soliloquy (The "All the world's a stage..." one about the seven ages of man), and explicating how she would stage it. She said that she would cast Alan Rickman.
Good call. Nothing wrong so far.
She pointed out a few highlights of Rickman's career, including his views on Shakespeare and some of his recent roles; i.e. Professor Snape. Reading from her little paper, she informed us that he's currently appearing in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Love Actually. (Did you know that? I didn't. I was under the impression that time was, in fact, marching on as always.) But that's not the point.
We pointed out that he was also in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in a role very similar to the one she was suggesting for him. She had never heard of it, and didn't care to. But that's not the point, either.
And so she concluded her presentation on the many virtues of Alan Rickman (none of which do I hold issue with), by commenting that given his genius, "It makes you wonder why he would play something like" (and here she assumed something of a condescending sneer) "Professor Snape."
Then I launched across the room and BIT HER. And shrieked, "Bitch, you did NOT just talk smack about Alan Rickman as Severus Snape, AND about Harry Potter in general, in a SINGLE SENTENCE!"
Or else I just led the rest of the class in decrying her. Something. I don't really remember.
Maybe because of the horse tranquilizer dart they had to shoot into my neck to get me off her.
Incidentally, losing consciousness isn't as bad as it sounds. Kinda nice to feel all your troubles melt away...
**