If I Just Lay Here
[+] Okay. I’m going to jump right into a cut. Because I have a feeling that a lot of what I’m going to say is going to be controversial. But if you are still curious about my thoughts on Derek Shepherd (and there are going to be callbacks to quite a few other Grey’s characters, and mentions of other shows), I need to stress: this is my opinion, in my journal. If you feel differently than me, you are not wrong. But I just feel like this is something I have to say.
I really mean this, and it’s still really fresh, but I really do think that this might be the most beautiful tv death I’ve ever seen.*
*Next to Stone Cates, which was a year in the making.
I’ve seen a lot of posts about WHAT A SLAP IN THE FACE and I HATE SHONDA SHE’S THE WORST, but you know what? Dempsey was leaving the show. For whatever reasons. And she had the choice to take one of the mainstay characters of one of the mainstay shows of network tv, and give him an out-with-a-whimper send-off (maybe they’d do commuter marriage between Seattle and DC, but it didn’t seem to be working out, and it would probably always feel very hollow), or worse yet, she could have divorced Meredith and Derek.
But instead, this season has really felt like a culmination and love letter to a decade relationship. They have done it all, they have loved and hated each other at times and fought each other and fought for each other and felt real loss and such joy. Team MerDer! (™, Callie Torres) These last two episodes have *really* been a love letter to Derek and MerDer, and there has been so much s1 callback dialogue, and series’ retrospection, I called this last week, though no one wanted to believe me.
It was *beautiful*.
And I understand why people are devastated (believe me, I was crying- not just one glistening tear- but sobbing my eyes out and hyperventilating and Michael had to shut the tv off and hold me for a while after it was over). But (and I’ve said this so many times), watch Spartacus and you will feel differently about every other tv death, forever.*
*Beth Greene is a huge exception. HUGE. But this is not the place for that.
In most cases, showrunners do not plan tv deaths to punish viewers, or actors. Shonda Rhimes had a choice. Out with a whimper (and it would have been weird to have all this retrospective if that had been the case) or go balls out and give him a glorious death.
And Shonda Rhimes has also learned some things, I’m sure, over the years about how to handle a character’s exit. It’s definitely not always been perfect. And the longer the show has gone on, the higher the stakes were. And through Burke, George, Izzie, Lexie, Mark and Cristina (I know there have been others, but these were the really important ones, imo), she got better. Well...after Mark, she got better.* Addison, of course, went on to have her own successful, six-season show.
*I’ve thought a lot about it, and if Lexie was going to die in 8.24 and Mark was going to die in 9.01, really, they could have just had a big old happy ending together (the way I always thought they would).
But yeah, Cristina’s send-off was glorious. It was bittersweet, but it felt purposeful, like Cristina was going off to become the person she was always meant to be, and that came with some sacrifice, but it was right. And there’s joy in that. There would have been no joy in Derek going off without Meredith.
And let’s talk about Meredith for a minute. First of all, Ellen Pompeo was fucking MAG-NI-FI-CENT. Do you remember, in Dream A Little Dream Of Me (the s5 premiere), the way it starts out is Meredith has a dream that Derek dies in a car accident (same way, a truck hits him).
And then when she is faced with losing him in Death And All His Friends:
*BTW, totally sobbing after watching those two clips.
Now, in the past, when Meredith has thought about losing Derek (or thought it really happened), she loses it. And I’m not saying that’s wrong, or weak, gosh...I can’t even think about myself being in the same position. But that’s not what happened last night. She was strong. She was not one small bit hateful to the doctors who failed to save her husband. She was not ready to let him go, but she did. She was almost...graceful.
Is it strange to be *proud* of a fictional character? I don’t know if that’s the right word. But I am in awe of Meredith Grey. She can live without Derek, but she doesn’t want to. But she will. The carousel never stops turning.
That was a glorious death.
Good night, sweet prince.
<<<333
I really mean this, and it’s still really fresh, but I really do think that this might be the most beautiful tv death I’ve ever seen.*
*Next to Stone Cates, which was a year in the making.
I’ve seen a lot of posts about WHAT A SLAP IN THE FACE and I HATE SHONDA SHE’S THE WORST, but you know what? Dempsey was leaving the show. For whatever reasons. And she had the choice to take one of the mainstay characters of one of the mainstay shows of network tv, and give him an out-with-a-whimper send-off (maybe they’d do commuter marriage between Seattle and DC, but it didn’t seem to be working out, and it would probably always feel very hollow), or worse yet, she could have divorced Meredith and Derek.
But instead, this season has really felt like a culmination and love letter to a decade relationship. They have done it all, they have loved and hated each other at times and fought each other and fought for each other and felt real loss and such joy. Team MerDer! (™, Callie Torres) These last two episodes have *really* been a love letter to Derek and MerDer, and there has been so much s1 callback dialogue, and series’ retrospection, I called this last week, though no one wanted to believe me.
It was *beautiful*.
And I understand why people are devastated (believe me, I was crying- not just one glistening tear- but sobbing my eyes out and hyperventilating and Michael had to shut the tv off and hold me for a while after it was over). But (and I’ve said this so many times), watch Spartacus and you will feel differently about every other tv death, forever.*
*Beth Greene is a huge exception. HUGE. But this is not the place for that.
In most cases, showrunners do not plan tv deaths to punish viewers, or actors. Shonda Rhimes had a choice. Out with a whimper (and it would have been weird to have all this retrospective if that had been the case) or go balls out and give him a glorious death.
And Shonda Rhimes has also learned some things, I’m sure, over the years about how to handle a character’s exit. It’s definitely not always been perfect. And the longer the show has gone on, the higher the stakes were. And through Burke, George, Izzie, Lexie, Mark and Cristina (I know there have been others, but these were the really important ones, imo), she got better. Well...after Mark, she got better.* Addison, of course, went on to have her own successful, six-season show.
*I’ve thought a lot about it, and if Lexie was going to die in 8.24 and Mark was going to die in 9.01, really, they could have just had a big old happy ending together (the way I always thought they would).
But yeah, Cristina’s send-off was glorious. It was bittersweet, but it felt purposeful, like Cristina was going off to become the person she was always meant to be, and that came with some sacrifice, but it was right. And there’s joy in that. There would have been no joy in Derek going off without Meredith.
And let’s talk about Meredith for a minute. First of all, Ellen Pompeo was fucking MAG-NI-FI-CENT. Do you remember, in Dream A Little Dream Of Me (the s5 premiere), the way it starts out is Meredith has a dream that Derek dies in a car accident (same way, a truck hits him).
Click to viewAnd then when she is faced with losing him in Death And All His Friends:
*BTW, totally sobbing after watching those two clips.
Now, in the past, when Meredith has thought about losing Derek (or thought it really happened), she loses it. And I’m not saying that’s wrong, or weak, gosh...I can’t even think about myself being in the same position. But that’s not what happened last night. She was strong. She was not one small bit hateful to the doctors who failed to save her husband. She was not ready to let him go, but she did. She was almost...graceful.
Is it strange to be *proud* of a fictional character? I don’t know if that’s the right word. But I am in awe of Meredith Grey. She can live without Derek, but she doesn’t want to. But she will. The carousel never stops turning.
That was a glorious death.
Good night, sweet prince.
<<<333