All My Days
GAH. Getting back on track with my advents. Well, Day 18 was sure to be a doozie. This is just the couple of my heart, there's no getting around it. And so...it turned fairly epic (for me). Over twice as long as my Yuletide fic. Like, by a lot... Unbeta-ed, because...well, there are like three people in the world who care about this couple, including myself and hope27.
This is Day 18, for hope27:
Title: Love Story
Rating: pg
Word Count: 3,727
Summary: This love is difficult, but it's real.
Disclaimer:All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Santiago shifted nervously from one foot to the other, tugging at his collar. He glanced at his watch. It was exactly thirty seconds from the last time he glanced at it. He was sweating bullets. Literally.
“Son, you have got to calm down,” Buddy patted him on the shoulder, making him jump a mile in the air, and Buddy chuckled. “Eric, why don’t you bring over that scotch there?”
Eric sighed from across the room, pulling at his black tuxedo, identical to the one Buddy was wearing. “Buddy, you said one toast, we can’t all be getting all boozed up here,” but Eric brought the bottle over and Matt followed him with the glasses. Buddy Junior was ready with his first, eagerly pouring everyone a generous two finger’s worth of liquid courage. Eric turned back to Santiago and gave him a little wink, though he did not smile. “You just better be standing steady up there on that altar.”
As soon as he said it, Santiago felt light-headed and had to sit down, and his future father-in-law couldn’t help but chuckle.
***
It was now or never. He’d more or less made it through his first school year at Dillon unscathed. Come to think of it, it was the first school year that he’d spent at one school. Always moving around...and then there was juvie.
He did most whatever Buddy asked him to do- it was the best life he could remember having in a while, and Buddy deserved all his gratitude and more. Besides, all Buddy really ever asked of him was to make good choices- work hard at school, work hard at football (though that probably came first, if he was honest with himself) and stay out of trouble. And to Buddy, that meant doing things that Santiago never would have thought of on his own. Like end of the year school dances.
But it wasn’t so bad, really, the whole school turned out for these things. For the beginning anyway, a lot of the guys on the team took off for a beer blast out by the oil rigs towards the end of the night. But Santiago stayed put. No need to go down that road.
Besides...she was still there.
He had a feeling it was to play wingman to that brown-haired girl she was always with, because she mostly just hung around a dark corner, leaning against the wall with one knee bent forward. She was wearing a red dress, short-sleeved and modest with a swirling skirt that reached near her knees, but still...she was incredible. And he’d contented himself with just watching her, all year.
But she loved to dance- he knew that. He knew a million things about her...and there was still so much he wanted to know.
Santiago took a deep breath and pushed himself forward. She looked up as he approached her and smiled politely. She probably thought he was going to ask her if she had the time (usually it was all he could get out around her). But not tonight.
“Julie,” he said, his voice much quieter than he intended it to be. “Do you want to dance?”
***
“Wow.” Julie couldn’t help the word escaping her lips as her mother finally turned her to look in the mirror.
“I’ll say,” Tami laughed softly and tenderly, carefully pushing a blond curl over her daughter’s shoulder.
It wasn’t that she was tooting her own horn, but she almost couldn’t believe that the person looking back at her was herself. She was a bride.
“You’re beautiful, Jules!” Gracie gushed, joining her mom and big sister at the mirror.
“You too, baby girl,” Julie smiled at her baby sister. Gracie Belle was the proudest thirteen-year-old maid of honor there ever was.
“Oh, my girls,” there was a catch in Tami’s voice, but she quickly shook herself out of it. There was no time for make-up reapplication now.
Julie glanced behind her at her other two bridesmaids. Tyra and Lyla had worked together remarkably well, and had both done a wonderful job of making sure Gracie felt included and productive throughout the whole planning process. They’d both gotten closer too, and Julie imagined that they would be keeping touch, not only through her from now on, but as individuals. They were surprisingly similar and seemed to really have a kindred spirit in each other.
Now they both stepped forward. “All right, you three,” Tyra said, in that very business-like manner she had about her that had kept everything running smoothly in the last few weeks leading up to the wedding. “We have about fifteen minutes until the photographer’s supposed to come up. Does anyone need any more mascara? Blotting tissues?”
“No, we’re good,” Tami answered. She smiled proudly at Tyra. “Thank you, girls, for all you’ve done.”
“It was our pleasure,” Lyla glanced in the mirror, and wiped a tiny smudge in her lip gloss with her pinky finger. “Besides, it’s all our little bride-y here who really took care of everything.”
Julie was quite proud that she and Santiago managed this wedding more or less on their own. Her parents wanted to pay, but they had already put her through college and a master’s degree, and they still had Gracie Belle to think about. They bought her dress and her father had given Santiago a hefty helping in the home he’d purchased and that was more than generous as far as Julie was concerned. It was a relatively small affair, but then, they didn’t need much. Family and friends and each other, that was all.
Lyla gave Julie a careful hug, being careful not to wrinkle either of their dresses. “And most importantly, you’ve made my brother the happiest guy ever.”
Julie swallowed her tears over Lyla’s shoulder. She knew it meant the world to Santiago that Lyla thought of him as a brother now, and it hadn’t been 100% easy between him and the Garritys but they were solidly family now, unbreakable.
There was a knock at the door, and Tyra answered it to find the photographer and Eric on the other side. Eric stopped for a moment, looking at his daughter across the room. “Hey,” he said, his voice gruff but his eyes were shining.
“Hi Dad,” Julie held her hand out to her father.
***
“Hi Dad,” Julie whispered to her father, who was up walking a fitful Gracie around the living room as Julie tip-toed in, three minutes early from her curfew.
“Hey kid,” he answered, rubbing circles on the baby’s back. He looked at the clock. “Did Lois drive you home?”
“No,” Julie answered carefully. They’d been in this pattern for the past couple of weeks, Lois would pick her up, and somewhere along the way of whatever summer party was going on that night, Julie and Lois would go their separate ways and she’d find herself with Santiago Herrera. And he would drive her home, and it hadn’t felt like something she had to bring up to her parents yet (after all, so far, it had been mostly silent car rides), but it was sure hard to get something by her dad.
“Who drove you home then?”
Julie paused. “Santiago.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Who?”
“Dad! Santiago Herrera, on the football team?”
“Oh, oh,” he said. Gracie started to stir but she settled back down easily enough. “What’s going on with that then?”
Beats me, Julie wanted to say but that wasn’t a real answer. “Nothing.”
Eric nodded and seemed to be relieved. “All right then.”
***
“Countdown, son,” Buddy grinned, and Santiago noticed that it was time to cut the old man off. He exchanged a look with Buddy Junior and he distracted his dad away under the guise of fixing his tie to give Santiago a chance to breathe. His little cousin, Angel, grinned at him as he fixed his own tie.
He was glad to have Angel around, and his tia and tio, since most of his own blood family couldn’t come. He and Julie would go down and visit his parents later on in the summer, but it still meant something to have his blood there. And he knew that Angel was excited to be included, and at fourteen, he was a perfect match to walk down the aisle with Gracie.
His groomsmen sure were a mixed bunch. There was his adopted brother, his baby cousin and his soon-to-be-wife’s first love. His friendship with Saracen had certainly been strained in the beginning. That first year after him and Julie got together in high school hadn’t been the smoothest one for the football team, for all that they still made it to State. They were not cool outside of practice, which Santiago couldn’t exactly fault him for.
Of course, Saracen wasn’t the only one he’d had to work around that first year. He’d never been more scared in his life than when he’d finally joined the Taylors for a Sunday dinner, as something other than Buddy Garrity’s ward or even one of Coach’s players. Julie held his hand under the table and Gracie was a godsend as an infant, cooing and making everyone laugh. But he was invited to dinner the next week, and the week after that as well, until he felt like he could actually taste the food instead of chewing and swallowing mechanically.
And afterward, Julie would walk him out the front door and lean up and kiss him on the cheek (they were never quite sure if her mother was watching from behind the curtains), and it was…on that third Sunday dinner, with her soft hair tucked under his chin, and the fading daylight giving them a comforting shadow that he realized…that this was never going away. It wasn’t just a mad, runaway crush he’d been harboring. He was in love with Julie Taylor, and probably would be forever.
And he remembered driving home that night, thinking about her, and his entire life, all of the shit he’d been handed, everything he’d gone through...was worth it because it led him to her.
He didn’t tell her that then, of course, but he did years later, after a good stretch of break-up in college and plenty of learning and growing. He remembered the way her eyes had filled with tears, and her pretty smile...
“Ready to go, Sandman?” Buddy hugged him around the shoulders again and Santiago smiled, finally relaxed that the moment was here. He’d been waiting for this moment for his whole life.
***
Another Friday, another party out by the rigs, and it was winding closer to eleven o’clock. Santiago wandered away from the guys on the team...some were getting a little rowdy, but everyone still was having a good time. She was so easy to spot, even in the dark, with that blond hair shimmering out behind her, and she turned when she heard someone approaching, not at all surprised to see him there. “Do you need a ride home, Julie?” he asked softly.
She nodded, a shy half-smile on her lips. He led her out to the black truck he’d just bought from Buddy’s lot and held open the passenger door for her. She turned on the radio, to the same moody emo station she always put on. In fact, he never changed the radio channel, because it reminded him of her.
This had become a familiar routine to them, and Santiago looked forward to every Friday night in the summer, at this quiet time with her.
“Why are you always waiting for me?”
But they still never talked, and that he wasn’t comfortable with.
Santiago took his eyes off the road for a second to glance at her. Because I don’t have to share you with anyone. It’s like you’re mine for a little while. “I don’t wait for you, I...guess I just run into you.”
“Right,” he glanced at her again, and could see a slow, sly smile curving her lips. “Just the same time, every party this summer...when you didn’t even know who I was this year.”
Santiago’s expression didn’t change, but his heart sped up. If she thought he had never noticed her...Wow. He was a whole lot slicker than he thought. “I know you now,” he said quietly. He turned to smile at her, watch the way the light off the highway played against her face.
Turning his eyes back to the road, he felt warm, slim fingers cover his own on the stickshift. He pulled her hand into his and pressed her palm to his lips.
***
“Ladies, I do believe it’s time,” Lyla said excitedly, though there was no need as they all heard Pachelbel Canon playing through the doors of the church.
Tami gasped a little and turned to Julie. “This is it,” she pulled her into a quick, tight hug. “I love you so much, Jules.”
“Love you too, Mom,” Julie whispered, and her dad gently pulled them apart.
“See you in a few minutes,” he grinned at his wife, and Julie had to smile. It was nice to know that her parents still flirted with each other.
Angel waved at Gracie Belle as he took Tami’s arm. He’d be back in a few minutes too to escort her. Julie glanced at her father out of the corner of his eye, watching the kids carefully. “I don’t think you have to start worrying about her just yet,” she grinned, pushing him in the shoulder.
“Never stop worrying,” he answered, in full sincerity, and for the thousandth time that day, Julie forced herself not to cry.
“Love you too, Dad,” she pressed her cheek to his. Her father’s cheek was always scratchy, even when he’d just shaved.
Buddy Junior and Matt hurried into the back of the church, to take their places with their sister and fiancee respectively. Julie had to smile as Tyra reached out to straighten Matt’s tie. It had been a little awkward between the four of them when Matt and Tyra got together last year, but they eventually all worked it out- everyone was happy and everyone was friends again, and everything felt like it was the way it should be.
***
Julie had always loved words. Not just language and prose, but words and knowing what they meant, finding the deepest, truest meaning of them. This summer had a definition: anticipation.
Santiago Herrera had come into her life sharply at the end of the school year- and it seemed strange now to think of life without his quiet, intense presence beside her. Her family knew about their weekly car rides now, but there was no dating, no kissing- still barely no speaking. It was powerful enough to sit next to him, and it seemed even that was nearly too much. She knew he wanted her- she knew enough now to see these things. He wanted her in every way.
Truth be told, Julie didn’t know if she was ready for a boy like him- although it was hard to think of him as a boy. He was so much older than her, than any other kid in school. His eyes were old. Tired. Weary. Wary. She was drawn to him- hopelessly so...but she was still a little bit afraid of him.
It wasn’t his past. In fact, it was harder to believe the things she’d heard about him. She knew he was in juvie, but there was a kindness to him, and a gentleness. She couldn’t see him ever hurting anyone. What she was afraid of...were the little snatches of intensity she felt for him that lasted only seconds- when he touched his hand to her back to help her into his truck, the longing in his eyes when he told her good night, that burning moment when he’d kissed her hand (the only move he’d made towards her all summer)- she was so afraid of feeling that all the time. Nobody came back from that kind of emotion.
Despite all that, she found herself wandering away from the bonfire at the usual time on Friday, slowing her steps when she could sense him behind her. She turned and waited patiently until she could see his face clearly in the darkness.
“Do you need a ride home, Julie?” He stood close enough to reach out and touch her, but of course he did not. He never did without her express invitation.
Julie looked up into his fathomless, dark eyes. “No.”
His expression stayed the same. “No?”
Julie shook her head. “I...I have plenty of people who could give me a ride home. There’s Lois back there, and Tyra...and Matt would drive me if I asked him,” she looked carefully at him for a reaction from him, but he remained guarded.
“Okay, fine,” he answered, in a measured tone. “Whatever you want, then.” He turned to go, but as he did, she saw a flash in his eyes. Anger. Pain. It wasn’t fair to do this to him. She quickly reached out for his hand and pulled him back to her. He turned back, but looked at the ground.
“Santiago,” she said, and he looked up. It was the first time she’d called him by his name. “What do you want?”
He was quiet and still for so long that she didn’t think he would answer her. “I’ve never gotten anything I wanted,” he finally said, without a hint of self pity.
Julie’s face went flush and her mouth went dry, and with stunning clarity, she wanted to kiss him as if her life depended on it. She wanted everything that this boy was, and all the good and bad that came along with it. “You can...you can have-”
“Don’t finish what you’re going to say,” he said, with a small chuckle. He reached a hand toward her, hesitating for a second before he gently tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, curving around the shell with his fingers. “Let me drive you home, Julie. It’s enough. It’s enough for me to just have this little bit of you to myself, just for a little while.”
Julie didn’t know whether she wanted to cry, slap him or wrap herself around him and pull him down to the ground right where they stood. “It’s not enough for me.” And before she could embarrass herself, she crossed him and headed back down to the party, to find Tyra to drive her home.
She stayed in the next night, baby-sitting Gracie Belle and talking out all of her feelings with her sister, who was the best listener she knew. The next morning at church, she kept her hair in her face, but she could feel him watching her, as he sat next to Buddy, and it was all she could do to not stare back at him. After the service, as Julie stood next to her mother, talking to whichever lady was trying to bend Tami Taylor’s ear for one reason or another, she turned to look over her shoulder to see if he was still there, still watching her.
He was walking towards her.
Murmuring an inaudible excuse to her mother, Julie drifted towards him in the broad daylight. It was funny to think she’d never spoken to him in the daytime, and really hadn’t even seen him in the day since they were in school, and that had been before everything anyway.
He stopped an arm’s length away from her, but tensed his jaw when they were finally in front of each other.
As much as she loved words, Julie knew that he hated them. “I’m sorry if...the way I left the other night,” she said, looking down at her yellow ballet flats.
“No, don’t be,” he shook his head. “It’s just...You have to know how I feel about you now.” Julie nodded, slowly. He certainly didn’t play any games. “It’s crazy. We don’t even know each other.” Julie nodded again. She didn’t understand it either, but there it was, all the same. “If,” he started and bit his lip. This was so, so hard for him. Julie reached out a hand and drew her fingers in between his. He looked down at their joined hands then back to her face. “If...if I give you anything of me....I’ll give you everything....Would you....I mean, it’s crazy to want that...”
Julie was speechless. All her words had left her.
She stepped closer to him, reaching her arms up around his neck (slowly, giving him the chance to run) and pulled his head down to her.
***
Santiago’s heart hammered in his chest, even as he smiled when his Buddy Junior and Lyla and then Matt and Tyra walked down the aisle. Then there was Gracie Belle and Angel, smiling sideways at each other and Santiago had to relax and grin a little at them.
When he thought back to that first summer- how shy he’d been and how strongly, how badly he wanted her, loved her from the start, it was still unbelievable that she ever took a chance on him. He never could have predicted that this day would come, but Santiago felt blessed beyond measure.And the life that they’d built together since then- the way they laughed together, the way he held her when she had a hard day, the way she let him know, every day, that he was the best man in the world to her- really, everything he had ever been through had been worth it to get him to her.
The back of the church doors opened, and there she was, on her father’s arm.
Julie smiled at Santiago from the end of the aisle as she began to walk towards him.
<<<333
So! If all goes well, I'll have the next three advents posted tomorrow. They're three prompts that I was particularly excited for, and they are all 'plotted out', so fingers crossed.
This is Day 18, for hope27:
Title: Love Story
Rating: pg
Word Count: 3,727
Summary: This love is difficult, but it's real.
Disclaimer:All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Santiago shifted nervously from one foot to the other, tugging at his collar. He glanced at his watch. It was exactly thirty seconds from the last time he glanced at it. He was sweating bullets. Literally.
“Son, you have got to calm down,” Buddy patted him on the shoulder, making him jump a mile in the air, and Buddy chuckled. “Eric, why don’t you bring over that scotch there?”
Eric sighed from across the room, pulling at his black tuxedo, identical to the one Buddy was wearing. “Buddy, you said one toast, we can’t all be getting all boozed up here,” but Eric brought the bottle over and Matt followed him with the glasses. Buddy Junior was ready with his first, eagerly pouring everyone a generous two finger’s worth of liquid courage. Eric turned back to Santiago and gave him a little wink, though he did not smile. “You just better be standing steady up there on that altar.”
As soon as he said it, Santiago felt light-headed and had to sit down, and his future father-in-law couldn’t help but chuckle.
***
It was now or never. He’d more or less made it through his first school year at Dillon unscathed. Come to think of it, it was the first school year that he’d spent at one school. Always moving around...and then there was juvie.
He did most whatever Buddy asked him to do- it was the best life he could remember having in a while, and Buddy deserved all his gratitude and more. Besides, all Buddy really ever asked of him was to make good choices- work hard at school, work hard at football (though that probably came first, if he was honest with himself) and stay out of trouble. And to Buddy, that meant doing things that Santiago never would have thought of on his own. Like end of the year school dances.
But it wasn’t so bad, really, the whole school turned out for these things. For the beginning anyway, a lot of the guys on the team took off for a beer blast out by the oil rigs towards the end of the night. But Santiago stayed put. No need to go down that road.
Besides...she was still there.
He had a feeling it was to play wingman to that brown-haired girl she was always with, because she mostly just hung around a dark corner, leaning against the wall with one knee bent forward. She was wearing a red dress, short-sleeved and modest with a swirling skirt that reached near her knees, but still...she was incredible. And he’d contented himself with just watching her, all year.
But she loved to dance- he knew that. He knew a million things about her...and there was still so much he wanted to know.
Santiago took a deep breath and pushed himself forward. She looked up as he approached her and smiled politely. She probably thought he was going to ask her if she had the time (usually it was all he could get out around her). But not tonight.
“Julie,” he said, his voice much quieter than he intended it to be. “Do you want to dance?”
***
“Wow.” Julie couldn’t help the word escaping her lips as her mother finally turned her to look in the mirror.
“I’ll say,” Tami laughed softly and tenderly, carefully pushing a blond curl over her daughter’s shoulder.
It wasn’t that she was tooting her own horn, but she almost couldn’t believe that the person looking back at her was herself. She was a bride.
“You’re beautiful, Jules!” Gracie gushed, joining her mom and big sister at the mirror.
“You too, baby girl,” Julie smiled at her baby sister. Gracie Belle was the proudest thirteen-year-old maid of honor there ever was.
“Oh, my girls,” there was a catch in Tami’s voice, but she quickly shook herself out of it. There was no time for make-up reapplication now.
Julie glanced behind her at her other two bridesmaids. Tyra and Lyla had worked together remarkably well, and had both done a wonderful job of making sure Gracie felt included and productive throughout the whole planning process. They’d both gotten closer too, and Julie imagined that they would be keeping touch, not only through her from now on, but as individuals. They were surprisingly similar and seemed to really have a kindred spirit in each other.
Now they both stepped forward. “All right, you three,” Tyra said, in that very business-like manner she had about her that had kept everything running smoothly in the last few weeks leading up to the wedding. “We have about fifteen minutes until the photographer’s supposed to come up. Does anyone need any more mascara? Blotting tissues?”
“No, we’re good,” Tami answered. She smiled proudly at Tyra. “Thank you, girls, for all you’ve done.”
“It was our pleasure,” Lyla glanced in the mirror, and wiped a tiny smudge in her lip gloss with her pinky finger. “Besides, it’s all our little bride-y here who really took care of everything.”
Julie was quite proud that she and Santiago managed this wedding more or less on their own. Her parents wanted to pay, but they had already put her through college and a master’s degree, and they still had Gracie Belle to think about. They bought her dress and her father had given Santiago a hefty helping in the home he’d purchased and that was more than generous as far as Julie was concerned. It was a relatively small affair, but then, they didn’t need much. Family and friends and each other, that was all.
Lyla gave Julie a careful hug, being careful not to wrinkle either of their dresses. “And most importantly, you’ve made my brother the happiest guy ever.”
Julie swallowed her tears over Lyla’s shoulder. She knew it meant the world to Santiago that Lyla thought of him as a brother now, and it hadn’t been 100% easy between him and the Garritys but they were solidly family now, unbreakable.
There was a knock at the door, and Tyra answered it to find the photographer and Eric on the other side. Eric stopped for a moment, looking at his daughter across the room. “Hey,” he said, his voice gruff but his eyes were shining.
“Hi Dad,” Julie held her hand out to her father.
***
“Hi Dad,” Julie whispered to her father, who was up walking a fitful Gracie around the living room as Julie tip-toed in, three minutes early from her curfew.
“Hey kid,” he answered, rubbing circles on the baby’s back. He looked at the clock. “Did Lois drive you home?”
“No,” Julie answered carefully. They’d been in this pattern for the past couple of weeks, Lois would pick her up, and somewhere along the way of whatever summer party was going on that night, Julie and Lois would go their separate ways and she’d find herself with Santiago Herrera. And he would drive her home, and it hadn’t felt like something she had to bring up to her parents yet (after all, so far, it had been mostly silent car rides), but it was sure hard to get something by her dad.
“Who drove you home then?”
Julie paused. “Santiago.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Who?”
“Dad! Santiago Herrera, on the football team?”
“Oh, oh,” he said. Gracie started to stir but she settled back down easily enough. “What’s going on with that then?”
Beats me, Julie wanted to say but that wasn’t a real answer. “Nothing.”
Eric nodded and seemed to be relieved. “All right then.”
***
“Countdown, son,” Buddy grinned, and Santiago noticed that it was time to cut the old man off. He exchanged a look with Buddy Junior and he distracted his dad away under the guise of fixing his tie to give Santiago a chance to breathe. His little cousin, Angel, grinned at him as he fixed his own tie.
He was glad to have Angel around, and his tia and tio, since most of his own blood family couldn’t come. He and Julie would go down and visit his parents later on in the summer, but it still meant something to have his blood there. And he knew that Angel was excited to be included, and at fourteen, he was a perfect match to walk down the aisle with Gracie.
His groomsmen sure were a mixed bunch. There was his adopted brother, his baby cousin and his soon-to-be-wife’s first love. His friendship with Saracen had certainly been strained in the beginning. That first year after him and Julie got together in high school hadn’t been the smoothest one for the football team, for all that they still made it to State. They were not cool outside of practice, which Santiago couldn’t exactly fault him for.
Of course, Saracen wasn’t the only one he’d had to work around that first year. He’d never been more scared in his life than when he’d finally joined the Taylors for a Sunday dinner, as something other than Buddy Garrity’s ward or even one of Coach’s players. Julie held his hand under the table and Gracie was a godsend as an infant, cooing and making everyone laugh. But he was invited to dinner the next week, and the week after that as well, until he felt like he could actually taste the food instead of chewing and swallowing mechanically.
And afterward, Julie would walk him out the front door and lean up and kiss him on the cheek (they were never quite sure if her mother was watching from behind the curtains), and it was…on that third Sunday dinner, with her soft hair tucked under his chin, and the fading daylight giving them a comforting shadow that he realized…that this was never going away. It wasn’t just a mad, runaway crush he’d been harboring. He was in love with Julie Taylor, and probably would be forever.
And he remembered driving home that night, thinking about her, and his entire life, all of the shit he’d been handed, everything he’d gone through...was worth it because it led him to her.
He didn’t tell her that then, of course, but he did years later, after a good stretch of break-up in college and plenty of learning and growing. He remembered the way her eyes had filled with tears, and her pretty smile...
“Ready to go, Sandman?” Buddy hugged him around the shoulders again and Santiago smiled, finally relaxed that the moment was here. He’d been waiting for this moment for his whole life.
***
Another Friday, another party out by the rigs, and it was winding closer to eleven o’clock. Santiago wandered away from the guys on the team...some were getting a little rowdy, but everyone still was having a good time. She was so easy to spot, even in the dark, with that blond hair shimmering out behind her, and she turned when she heard someone approaching, not at all surprised to see him there. “Do you need a ride home, Julie?” he asked softly.
She nodded, a shy half-smile on her lips. He led her out to the black truck he’d just bought from Buddy’s lot and held open the passenger door for her. She turned on the radio, to the same moody emo station she always put on. In fact, he never changed the radio channel, because it reminded him of her.
This had become a familiar routine to them, and Santiago looked forward to every Friday night in the summer, at this quiet time with her.
“Why are you always waiting for me?”
But they still never talked, and that he wasn’t comfortable with.
Santiago took his eyes off the road for a second to glance at her. Because I don’t have to share you with anyone. It’s like you’re mine for a little while. “I don’t wait for you, I...guess I just run into you.”
“Right,” he glanced at her again, and could see a slow, sly smile curving her lips. “Just the same time, every party this summer...when you didn’t even know who I was this year.”
Santiago’s expression didn’t change, but his heart sped up. If she thought he had never noticed her...Wow. He was a whole lot slicker than he thought. “I know you now,” he said quietly. He turned to smile at her, watch the way the light off the highway played against her face.
Turning his eyes back to the road, he felt warm, slim fingers cover his own on the stickshift. He pulled her hand into his and pressed her palm to his lips.
***
“Ladies, I do believe it’s time,” Lyla said excitedly, though there was no need as they all heard Pachelbel Canon playing through the doors of the church.
Tami gasped a little and turned to Julie. “This is it,” she pulled her into a quick, tight hug. “I love you so much, Jules.”
“Love you too, Mom,” Julie whispered, and her dad gently pulled them apart.
“See you in a few minutes,” he grinned at his wife, and Julie had to smile. It was nice to know that her parents still flirted with each other.
Angel waved at Gracie Belle as he took Tami’s arm. He’d be back in a few minutes too to escort her. Julie glanced at her father out of the corner of his eye, watching the kids carefully. “I don’t think you have to start worrying about her just yet,” she grinned, pushing him in the shoulder.
“Never stop worrying,” he answered, in full sincerity, and for the thousandth time that day, Julie forced herself not to cry.
“Love you too, Dad,” she pressed her cheek to his. Her father’s cheek was always scratchy, even when he’d just shaved.
Buddy Junior and Matt hurried into the back of the church, to take their places with their sister and fiancee respectively. Julie had to smile as Tyra reached out to straighten Matt’s tie. It had been a little awkward between the four of them when Matt and Tyra got together last year, but they eventually all worked it out- everyone was happy and everyone was friends again, and everything felt like it was the way it should be.
***
Julie had always loved words. Not just language and prose, but words and knowing what they meant, finding the deepest, truest meaning of them. This summer had a definition: anticipation.
Santiago Herrera had come into her life sharply at the end of the school year- and it seemed strange now to think of life without his quiet, intense presence beside her. Her family knew about their weekly car rides now, but there was no dating, no kissing- still barely no speaking. It was powerful enough to sit next to him, and it seemed even that was nearly too much. She knew he wanted her- she knew enough now to see these things. He wanted her in every way.
Truth be told, Julie didn’t know if she was ready for a boy like him- although it was hard to think of him as a boy. He was so much older than her, than any other kid in school. His eyes were old. Tired. Weary. Wary. She was drawn to him- hopelessly so...but she was still a little bit afraid of him.
It wasn’t his past. In fact, it was harder to believe the things she’d heard about him. She knew he was in juvie, but there was a kindness to him, and a gentleness. She couldn’t see him ever hurting anyone. What she was afraid of...were the little snatches of intensity she felt for him that lasted only seconds- when he touched his hand to her back to help her into his truck, the longing in his eyes when he told her good night, that burning moment when he’d kissed her hand (the only move he’d made towards her all summer)- she was so afraid of feeling that all the time. Nobody came back from that kind of emotion.
Despite all that, she found herself wandering away from the bonfire at the usual time on Friday, slowing her steps when she could sense him behind her. She turned and waited patiently until she could see his face clearly in the darkness.
“Do you need a ride home, Julie?” He stood close enough to reach out and touch her, but of course he did not. He never did without her express invitation.
Julie looked up into his fathomless, dark eyes. “No.”
His expression stayed the same. “No?”
Julie shook her head. “I...I have plenty of people who could give me a ride home. There’s Lois back there, and Tyra...and Matt would drive me if I asked him,” she looked carefully at him for a reaction from him, but he remained guarded.
“Okay, fine,” he answered, in a measured tone. “Whatever you want, then.” He turned to go, but as he did, she saw a flash in his eyes. Anger. Pain. It wasn’t fair to do this to him. She quickly reached out for his hand and pulled him back to her. He turned back, but looked at the ground.
“Santiago,” she said, and he looked up. It was the first time she’d called him by his name. “What do you want?”
He was quiet and still for so long that she didn’t think he would answer her. “I’ve never gotten anything I wanted,” he finally said, without a hint of self pity.
Julie’s face went flush and her mouth went dry, and with stunning clarity, she wanted to kiss him as if her life depended on it. She wanted everything that this boy was, and all the good and bad that came along with it. “You can...you can have-”
“Don’t finish what you’re going to say,” he said, with a small chuckle. He reached a hand toward her, hesitating for a second before he gently tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, curving around the shell with his fingers. “Let me drive you home, Julie. It’s enough. It’s enough for me to just have this little bit of you to myself, just for a little while.”
Julie didn’t know whether she wanted to cry, slap him or wrap herself around him and pull him down to the ground right where they stood. “It’s not enough for me.” And before she could embarrass herself, she crossed him and headed back down to the party, to find Tyra to drive her home.
She stayed in the next night, baby-sitting Gracie Belle and talking out all of her feelings with her sister, who was the best listener she knew. The next morning at church, she kept her hair in her face, but she could feel him watching her, as he sat next to Buddy, and it was all she could do to not stare back at him. After the service, as Julie stood next to her mother, talking to whichever lady was trying to bend Tami Taylor’s ear for one reason or another, she turned to look over her shoulder to see if he was still there, still watching her.
He was walking towards her.
Murmuring an inaudible excuse to her mother, Julie drifted towards him in the broad daylight. It was funny to think she’d never spoken to him in the daytime, and really hadn’t even seen him in the day since they were in school, and that had been before everything anyway.
He stopped an arm’s length away from her, but tensed his jaw when they were finally in front of each other.
As much as she loved words, Julie knew that he hated them. “I’m sorry if...the way I left the other night,” she said, looking down at her yellow ballet flats.
“No, don’t be,” he shook his head. “It’s just...You have to know how I feel about you now.” Julie nodded, slowly. He certainly didn’t play any games. “It’s crazy. We don’t even know each other.” Julie nodded again. She didn’t understand it either, but there it was, all the same. “If,” he started and bit his lip. This was so, so hard for him. Julie reached out a hand and drew her fingers in between his. He looked down at their joined hands then back to her face. “If...if I give you anything of me....I’ll give you everything....Would you....I mean, it’s crazy to want that...”
Julie was speechless. All her words had left her.
She stepped closer to him, reaching her arms up around his neck (slowly, giving him the chance to run) and pulled his head down to her.
***
Santiago’s heart hammered in his chest, even as he smiled when his Buddy Junior and Lyla and then Matt and Tyra walked down the aisle. Then there was Gracie Belle and Angel, smiling sideways at each other and Santiago had to relax and grin a little at them.
When he thought back to that first summer- how shy he’d been and how strongly, how badly he wanted her, loved her from the start, it was still unbelievable that she ever took a chance on him. He never could have predicted that this day would come, but Santiago felt blessed beyond measure.And the life that they’d built together since then- the way they laughed together, the way he held her when she had a hard day, the way she let him know, every day, that he was the best man in the world to her- really, everything he had ever been through had been worth it to get him to her.
The back of the church doors opened, and there she was, on her father’s arm.
Julie smiled at Santiago from the end of the aisle as she began to walk towards him.
<<<333
So! If all goes well, I'll have the next three advents posted tomorrow. They're three prompts that I was particularly excited for, and they are all 'plotted out', so fingers crossed.