Day 9. A letter to the coolest person you’ve never met
Dear Dos Equis Man,
I am writing you this letter because you’re “cool.” In the interest of full disclosure you’re actually my second choice though. I was going to write the Old Spice Guy, but I figure he’s too busy turning into stuff and having a lot of sex with random women whilst smelling really nice. He must have an awesome life. I mean he probably has the ability to have anyone he wants. Plus he must save so much money on transportation since he can suddenly just appear in a car or on a horse. That is so cool, and now that I think about it, why am I even writing you? Since you pale in comparison to this guy, why don’t you pass this letter on to him for me? I mean you seem to be interesting enough for him to pay you some attention. So yeah please do that me. Thanks man.
Sincerely, Shavis
P.S. Your beer sucks.